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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s a neighbour one...

26 replies

HoHoHo2020 · 10/12/2020 21:22

First time poster long time lurker but I know you will give me great advice on how to handle my odd neighbours.
I’ve always known that they were a little strange for starters she (Miss perfect) always refers to her husband as ‘My Husband’ ..never by name.. and there have been the odd sly dig in the past.. arrive home with Aldi bags and he shouts ‘oh Aldi coming down in the world are we?’ .. erm I often shop there.. so you get the idea.
My AIBU is how to respond about their latest actions. They started putting things in our bin without asking. This was fine until they filled our bin 3 days before bin day and we couldn’t fit our rubbish in. We took theirs out and left it on the side. The following bin day they moved their car over so we couldn’t put the bin back without taking it down 4 steps. I wanted to say something, OH didn’t so we left it.
They receive a lot of packages, even before lockdown we would have 3 or 4 couriers a day ask us to take in a package when we were working from home. Obviously this year the deliveries have increased. They are at work all day and I’ve been WFH so have taken in a lot of packages. Once I was on a conference call so quickly passed the packages over to Mr Perfect to get back to it. I explained I was on a call but he kept talking so I closed (maybe slammed) the door. Then last night I posted their Christmas card through the letter box and there is a label stuck to the letter box in capitals and highlighted saying ‘Do not leave package at number xx’.it was our house number. I was amazed. We are nice people. Send birthday cards and presents to their child, Easter presents, Halloween treats and they reciprocate. Actually they are usually first. And yet they clearly hate us. What do I do? OH thinks we do nothing. I’m more concerned these are next door neighbours and I don’t want it to be uncomfortable. Do I put a letter through? Or AIBU and they are right to not like us?

OP posts:
ForTheLoveOfCatFood · 10/12/2020 21:26

Maybe they just don’t want parcels delivered to neighbours?

I’m not sure how you can accidentally close a door on someone that seems rude. A polite sorry got to go bye and door shut not door slam.

Original poster
HoHoHo2020 · 10/12/2020 21:27

The sticker!

[We have removed the image because the OP's address was clearly visible - hope that's ok OP! - MNHQ]

OP posts:
Lou98 · 10/12/2020 21:27

To be honest the putting the rubbish in your bin is cheeky but I would just have done as you did but I would have went over and said to them that I'd done it and asked them not to put rubbish in your bin in future as you then cannot fit your stuff in. For the moving the car back I'm not entirely sure what you mean with that so can't say whether you are BU or not.

For the parcels though and putting a note on their door asking them not to be left at yours, it does sound on here as though you resented taking in all the parcels this year, you haven't come across in the OP as being happy about it and they obviously got the same vibe from you 'slamming' the door in their face. If I was on a call I just wouldn't have answered the door, I'd have waited until I finished and took the parcels over and explained then that you were on a work call. It was very rude to slam the door in the middle of him talking in my opinion.
There's obviously a back story to it but I don't think them putting a note on their door asking for them not to be left at yours is rude

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 10/12/2020 21:29

I think I'd be rejoicing that the deluge of parcels is going to stop.

Original poster
HoHoHo2020 · 10/12/2020 21:29

@ForTheLoveOfCatFood

Maybe they just don’t want parcels delivered to neighbours?

I’m not sure how you can accidentally close a door on someone that seems rude. A polite sorry got to go bye and door shut not door slam.

They have packages delivered to others and I did say sorry I'm on a conference call I've got to go. I really wasnt rude
OP posts:
TW2013 · 10/12/2020 21:30

Pop a lock on your bin and be happy that you don't need to take their parcels in any more.

TheCanyon · 10/12/2020 21:31

@HoHoHo2020 I'd ask in to delete that picture. You're address is still visible.

DahliaMacNamara · 10/12/2020 21:31

Result, surely?

TheCanyon · 10/12/2020 21:31

Ask MN*

Toastina · 10/12/2020 21:32

In a way they're being considerate with the sticker. I'd just be civil and live your life. The bin thing might be a one off. Let them live their life and you live yours.

Creatingausername · 10/12/2020 21:33

Maybe they've sensed that you're fed up of taking in parcels and just don't want to bother you anymore rather than hate you?

YesMeLady · 10/12/2020 21:33

Why would you want to take in their parcels
Dont worry about it. Get a bin lock and just ignire any silliness

Original poster
HoHoHo2020 · 10/12/2020 21:34

@Lou98

To be honest the putting the rubbish in your bin is cheeky but I would just have done as you did but I would have went over and said to them that I'd done it and asked them not to put rubbish in your bin in future as you then cannot fit your stuff in. For the moving the car back I'm not entirely sure what you mean with that so can't say whether you are BU or not.

For the parcels though and putting a note on their door asking them not to be left at yours, it does sound on here as though you resented taking in all the parcels this year, you haven't come across in the OP as being happy about it and they obviously got the same vibe from you 'slamming' the door in their face. If I was on a call I just wouldn't have answered the door, I'd have waited until I finished and took the parcels over and explained then that you were on a work call. It was very rude to slam the door in the middle of him talking in my opinion.
There's obviously a back story to it but I don't think them putting a note on their door asking for them not to be left at yours is rude

There really is no backstory. I only answered the door because my car was on the drive and I didn't want them to think I was ignoring them. The slam was literally I pushed the door too hard. I did say sorry I've got to go. They have a lot of parcels and I have always taken them in no problem. Sometimes kept them for a week because no one answers when I take packages over. I have to wait for them to come to me. I was more illustrating I do take packages in all the time, usually have a chat but one time (the only time I can think I might have offended) the door slammed as I was dashed back to my laptop
OP posts:
aeiouaeiouaeiou · 10/12/2020 21:37

@HoHoHo2020 I'd have this removed you can clearly make out your address from the label

MrsChuckBass · 10/12/2020 21:40

Yes you can actually, have to pic removed to protect your privacy

EmmaWithTheGreatHair · 10/12/2020 21:41

During lockdown we’ve had no couriers asking us to take parcels for our ndn.

Perhaps you’re overthinking a bit OP. Maybe they realise you’ve born the brunt of their parcel deliveries and need the courier to just leave a note asking them to collect or rearrange delivery. Where are all these parcels coming from and who is delivering?

Using your bin was extremely cheeky! Good on you for taking their rubbish out! The very least they could have done was ask!

You’ve done nothing wrong as far as I can tell.

Saz12 · 10/12/2020 21:42

But... you are cheesed off with the number of deliveries interrupting you (understandably), and annoyed about the bin (fair enough). If they’ve realised that you’re getting a bit fed up, but don’t want to fall out, then maybe that’s not a bad thing, just keep being friendly when you see them and all’s good.

EmmaWithTheGreatHair · 10/12/2020 21:42

*bore the brunt Blush

Nottherealslimshady · 10/12/2020 21:42

You need to remove that image, can see your address.

Nottherealslimshady · 10/12/2020 21:44

I wouldn't do anything though. Just remove their rubbish from our bin. Dont accept parcels. You dont have to be friends with them just because you live near them.

Meredithgrey1 · 10/12/2020 21:45

If you don’t want to take in parcels, this seems like the perfect solution tbh.

donquixotedelamancha · 10/12/2020 21:48

We've got a sticker just like that on our door. Except that it refers to the house opposite, not next door.

MrsChuckBass · 10/12/2020 21:51

What is the neighbours problem? That they don't want to take your parcels? Or
They don't want their parcels going to you?

paiop · 10/12/2020 21:51

I think they think you are annoyed with receiving your parcels and that are trying to be thoughtful by stopping couriers delivering to you. You might not think you slammed the door but they might not be so sure so they are trying not to risk it being a real slam next time

Bringbackthestrips · 10/12/2020 21:51

Maybe they realise you are busy working so put the note so that you are no longer disturbed by the parcels being delivered & collected?

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