Tell me about your lovely MIL

[FrostedCupcake]

I've read so many horror stories about MILs on here, they generally seem like monsters!

My mum is an evil MIL, although totally undeserving in my opinion. My Brother says my mum spends too much time with me and my kids and neglects his. He had his children long before me, my mum tried to help but it was always rejected. In fact it isn't just my mum, it's everyone on our side of the family. My family are wonderful with my children but poor Brother and SIL are hard done by and no one cares. They can't see that they've created the problem for themselves by constantly pushing our family away.

I'm a boy mum and defiantly not having anymore so I won't have a daughter. I know as girls we usually gravitate more to our own mums and I accept that but I hope to be involved and close to them when the time comes.

My MiL is awful. We have very little contact with her and it's been that way since way before I met my husband. So I've never really had my own MIL.

There must be some wonderful MILs out there, what makes them wonderful?

My MIL is OK. Not a bad person just very self centred. She is lovely when she sees us, but when she's not never bothers with her grandchildren or DS (my husband) and has been quite cruel at times.

My mum has always made an effort to connect with us as has my sister and consequently my children are far closer to my side of the family than to my MIL

MIL#1 is pretty good.
Its just my 2 DC that she has as GC, she adores them.
She doesnt speak to ex DH, her son, he is the issue not her.
My MIL is kind and generous with my younger 2 children too- not bilogically hers.
They call her Grandma and love her a lot!
Like most feel about their MIL, there are a few frustrating things she does that irritate but nothing major.
My "new" MIL is lovely, gives us space as a family- maybe too much? we can go a few months without her returning our calls , actully MIL #1 can be hard to contact at times.😂

I honestly don't know what I'd do without my mil . She has helped us do much over the years just practically not financially but would help financially in a heartbeat.
In fact thinking about it as we've not been able to see much of them this year I'm going to tell her how much she means to us when I see her next .

I love mine so very, very much. She’s one of the kindest, warmest and most generous people I’ve ever met.

I had a baby a week ago and she has come round every day (always asking first and checking we don’t mind) to help us with the house and the baby. She’s also a retired midwife and has come back to my house every day to administer the blood-thinning injections I have to take after my c-section because I’m too wussy to do it myself. She has been endlessly reassuring about the baby, has helped me with establishing feeding, and has looked after me so much. She looks after the baby while I sleep, she reminds me to look after myself, she’s just been wonderful.

She has spent years making me feel like part of her family, welcoming me with open arms and being so kind and supportive. I really feel she loves me and I love her in return.

My mil is actually a generation younger then my mum and is very chilled. But actually I ger much more help then my family. Neither live near by. I can tell my mil stuff I can,t tell my mum but when push comes to shove my parents give more help.

I have the best MIL, I’m married to her only child and have given her two beautiful grandchildren. I love her and she loves me. Sometimes she oversteps the mark and vice versa, but we have the same values and that is why our families work. My children and I are very lucky to have her. And her son is lucky to have me ;-)

Mine lives on the other side of the world and doesn’t speak English. She loves me mainly by feeding me and makes extra bowls for me to pick from whilst she’s cooking. Neither mother or wife tolerate that.

I have the challenge of a difficult MIL, but I try to find the best in her. She can be great and really honest and grateful, she can be hyper-critical and awful.

It's not a case of 'No one's good enough for my little prince', she's quite critical of DH as well - she has an anxiety, DH reckons, as a second-generation immigrant (her parents emigrated, she then emigrated to here) about doing everything right and her kids doing everything right and we just try to be mindful of that and try not to take things personally.

My MIL is fantastic - so warm and loving and there’s always a brew ready! She loves our DC and is happy to pitch in and help with childcare... she always asks me if it’s ok for certain things like giving my toddler a bit of chocolate which I appreciate. My DM and I have a close relationship but I don’t think she will have the same relationship with her DIL that I have with my MIL.

She’s a lovely woman. She’s raised a lovely man who is an amazing husband and father and male role model for my older DC.

She’s considerate of us and loves our DC. I really couldn’t ask for more.

My MIL is lovely, she has the odd quirk that irritates me but that is down to personality differences. We don’t have a hugely close relationship but I’m fond of her and enjoy the time we spend together. She is so kind and caring to our little family and adores my baby. I feel awful that she hasn’t seen him as much as we’d both like due to COVID but I know she understands.

Only time she really got on my nerves was around the birth of my baby but looking back that was her going a bit doolally with excitement and fear of being pushed out (coupled with my Mama-bear instincts it was a recipe for disaster).

My MIL is great. She’s kind, thoughtful and will always give an honest answer if you ask her opinion on something! We live a couple of hours away so don’t see each other very often, but I really look forward to seeing all of my in-laws as they are so welcoming and fun! We are very different in many ways but family comes first for both of us. I recognise that I am very lucky to genuinely like and love the family I married into

My MIL and FIL are both amazing!

I met DH when I was only 16 (he was 18) and they welcomed me with open arms from day1! We even lived with them (and DHs 3 younger siblings) for a year before we bought our house.

My DM passed away when I was 21 and my MIL has been there for me in every situation where I would've needed my DM.

FIL waited outside church for me to arrive when DH and I got married just so that he could see me before everyone else, give me a kiss and tell me how beautiful I looked

They babysat whenever we needed, helped with school pick ups when I travelled with work and DS still goes round once a week for his tea even though he's nearly 13.

I often go round and have a cuppa with them without DH and DS!!

I’m not sure if this counts as she’s my ex MIL
But years ago when ex DH cheated on me - she told him straight that it was unacceptable and whilst he was her son and she loved him she didn’t like or agree with his behaviour
We divorced
Since then (20+) years ago we have stayed in touch - she tells me what a fab DM I have been n how wonderful my DC her DGC are

I don’t have a MIL as I’m single, and never gotten to the point of meeting a partner’s mum, but my sister has a lovely MIL. Can be a bit fussy and overstep at times altho far less the older my nieces get and the more confident my sister gets as a mum, but in the main she’s really lovely and helpful, retired when my sister got pregnant to help provide childcare, really nice lady. I see her a few times a year and we always get on really well, and FIL is lovely too.

My parents both got on really well with each other’s mums, my dad’s mum always said if he and DM split, DM could come live with her and DF could sort himself out 😂

I really hope when I finally have a MIL of my own, I get on well with her - we don’t need to be best friends or anything, but some of the MIL horror stories on here do scare me!

My darling MIL died. I loved her like a mum for 31 years. I miss her, this time of year is particularly hard.

She was my support and calm reasoning. Always positive. My children adored her, she moved to be closer once I had babies. I saw her a few times a week. She would turn up and help, proper help, then make tea, chat and leave. Never ever overstepped or was pushy.

She was gentle, positive, life affirming and taken so early it hurts.

I love my MIL, I'm not from the UK and met hubby at university (I wasn't supposed to stay), we ended up renting a flag in London together, we then bought a house, got married and now have a child and one on the way. The best thing I got for free is his mother who is kind, wonderful, generous and ever so loving. Brilliant with my son (only baby sitting duties here and there) and ahhh I love her. Shes the family I don't have over here. She's basically my husband but the female version. Beautiful people. I'm very lucky xxxx

I love my MIL. We’re very different people and it took a little while for us to learn how best to ‘fit’ but we get on well now. My mum lives close by and is a very hands on Granny, whereas MIL is further away and prefers to be a glamorous granny so no drama as everyone is happy.

And she has insisted that Xmas should only mean getting presents for children not adults which means less work/stress for me. I’ve missed visiting her this year and look forward to being allowed over which she has told us will not be until they’ve been vaccinated.

my MIL is great. She brought up my DH and his two brothers as a single mum which was very tough for her. She’s an absolute grafter (still is aged 73!) and I have so much admiration and respect for the values she gave my DH. He also inherited the worst stubborn streak from her too but nobody’s perfect he he x

My MIL sadly died of dementia 5 years ago, she was lovely and always pleased to see me, had lots of lovely chats about her childhood which i miss.

My mother on the other hand is a demanding, controlling, entitled misery.

Mine is lovely. She is kind, thoughtful and excellent with both of my sons.

We go out together alone now and then and we see each other weekly.

I couldn’t ask for a better MIL.

We're very lucky to have DMIL. She is very hands-on with DP and his siblings which took some getting used to for me with my hippy parents But I have come to see that this comes from fierce loyalty to her loved ones. She's also very practical which is a great combination. I think she'd be an excellent DGM if we can have DC.

Lovely to hear all these stories of wonderful women in others' lives, great topic OP 😊

My MIL was wonderful. We got on from the moment we met and she was in my life for 40yrs. We did lots of things together with and without DH. She was kind, generous, non interfering, helpful. She lived next door for the last 15yrs and was a brilliant grandma to our two boys.

This thread brought a little tear to my eye, she died the week before Christmas 4yrs ago and I still miss her every day

I loved my MIL and FIL very much. They were not perfect and i there was family politics and drama from time to time-no worse then my own. But they were good people, wanted to help where they could (distance), generous and kind and supportive. I always felt welcome in their home we always laughed and talked a lot. I never went out with MIL alone but she didn't do that with her own daughters either. She always wanted to be with FIL. I don't have regular contact now as i am divorced. But i think of them very fondly. They are still wonderful grandparents and i am happy to facilitate extended visits.

I am now slowly building a relationship with my new in laws. They are good people but much more closed emotionally as a family and are so private they don't ask you anything about yourself (the same with other family members). We have 2 kids each but none together so its a different dynamic. She adores her grandchildren and is inclusive to mine and planning to include them in things next year even though she hasn't met them. Cant ask for more.

My mum is closer to her son in law then he is his own mum. I find it a little odd. But he just seems a better fit with our family then with his own.