To break up the day before my birthday and right before Christmas

[confusedmumof1]

It’s my birthday Saturday. I’ve been with my boyfriend just over a year. We don’t live together. He’s due to come visit tomorrow and Im dreading it. I’ve been unhappy for a while and kept putting off breaking up with him because i wasn’t 100% sure. He’s a nice guy but just a lot of things about him and his life don’t fit with mine and i don’t see it going anywhere long term. I feel Awful about it but i know I’m going to feel even worse if he gives me loads of presents as my heart really isn’t in it anymore. I’m thinking I should end it before Saturday but does this make me a bitch considering he’s already told me he’s made plans and bought me gifts? We also have Plans to spend Christmas together and with our kids but I’m dreading it and the thought of it makes me want to cancel Christmas.
Aibu to dump him now? Should I wait til after Christmas (this seems even worse to me)

Tough decision you have there, but I think it’s probably kinder to end it now rather than let him treat you rotten then dump him.
He may be able to return some of the gifts, and if not, at least you can have your separate Christmas celebrations without a cloud hanging over you.
Happy birthday for Saturday. Mine’s tomorrow.

If you do it now, he might be able to find someone else to spend Christmas with.

Do it now. He can take the gifts back, neither of you can relive the next few unhappy weeks!

Do it now. You'll feel better. It's much worse to hang on once you even made that decision, and potentially looks like you're waiting to get presents first if you wait. Do it and then stop thinking about him.

Do it now. But be quick about it so he can make alternate Christmas plans.

I don't think you should feel so guilty. It's not such a long term relationship. You've given it a go and it's not for you.

Can you do it over the phone tonight/ tomorrow in person?

Do it tonight. And stop feeling guilty.

Definitely do it before. You'll feel like such a shit bag if you sit there opening presents he's bought for you and making plans for Christmas.

He can probably get a refund on the gifts.

You will feel like a weight has been lifted. Life is for living, not for feeling guilty.

What did you decide to do OP?

I think it would be the right thing to do before your birthday once you get the ick it is hard to keep ignoring it.

YANBU, life’s to short to be in a relationship with someone you dread seeing

If you wait til after he gives you presents you’ll feel guilty then too, at least if you do it before hand he can return them

Just do it it’ll hurt him either way. I got dumped one week before Valentine’s and 2 weeks before my 30th. It happens and I still enjoyed the time although he got out of buying me gifts the scumbag