I realise I am being petty but...

[IGetIt]

AIBU to hate it when DH keeps comparing my pregnancy with his ex?

I'm not entirely sure why it bothers me but it does.

Every time I mention something it's 'oh when X was pregnant X Y Z, when X was in labour etc etc'...

And so on.

The stupid thing is, I don't even mind his ex, we get on fine! I don't know why it's bothering me all of a sudden but I feel like telling him I don't want to hear it every time he does it!

@Macncheeseballs

Next time you're dtd, compare his technique to your ex

I just came to say this ... but its already been said

@katy1213

It does rather draw attention to the fact that he didn't stick around to raise the result.

Nothing like a good ol' mumsnet reach

@Hahaha88

Honestly I think you're perhaps being a bit hormonal. If this isn't his first experience of a pregnancy it's natural he'd talk about the other, just like you would if you had a baby with a previous partner. If it's really bothering you then tell him, but I think he's down nothing wrong imo. But apparently I'm alone in thinking this way. And fwiw I am pregnant myself

In that case, she can frame it as, ‘perhaps I’m being hormonal, but ...’

If she find it annoying (rightly or wrongly), she finds it annoying.

And FWIW, I’m not pregnant.

After you've laboured, you'll be able to tell him "as someone who has DONE it" and his having seen it will pale in comparison I bet his ex remembers it all a bit differently. My ex talked about the labour later and our memories were totally different!

I think it’s the fact he mentions his ex rather than simply his first child.

He should omit X.

Ofc it’s not his first child so he’s always going to be thinking of his first experience when experiencing this one. Just as a point of reference

What woman, or man for that matter, wants to constantly hear about their partner's ex.

I'd personally be saying to him, "I don't give a flying fuck if she gave birth in a mountain stream or it burst forth like that scene in Alien because I am me, not her. Understand? dick head!".

Tell him to shut his insensitive big mouth.

@YoniAndGuy

'Please don't be one of those men who think that having once seen a labour in action they have the faintest idea of the actual experience. Also, this is my pregnancy, and my labour, please stop referring to your ex every time the subject comes up or I will find a birth partner who won't'

Or tell him (even though it's the last thing you want), that you're considering asking the Ex to be your birthing partner - rather than him - to get advice direct from the source, and someone who's actually given birth, rather than second hand... 🌹

Oh that sounds so annoying. I dont think I could stop my face from showing how annoyed I was.

Tell him to stop comparing you to his ex's pregnancy, you are not the same person.

He's being insensitive. This is YOUR experience.

He’s being an idiot. I’m a step mum and had my first last year. DH didn’t mention his ex’s pregnancy once, it would have been totally irrelevant to mine. Different conception, different woman, different pregnancy, different birth in the end, different way of feeding the baby, different baby!

I’ve got a friend who had a baby recently who’s also a step mum and when they told us about the pregnancy he said something about “our pregnancy” when referring to his ex, and even “our delivery” at “our hospital”. I looked him in the eye and said “ooh no, why would friend want to know about any of that?! I’m sure friend doesn’t need or want to spend the next 8 months hearing about your ex”. He cringed and laughed and said “oh shit, sorry, yeah, you’re right, sorry friend”. She shot me a look of thanks and apparently he didn’t do it again.