Quick backstory.
And a warning that this will be long x
We lost dad last year. They had the sort of marriage where he took care of everything and she was a housewife. All finances were in his hands, mum had no knowledge of the ins and outs of the bank account as dad would give her "housekeeping" each week. They lived very comfortably, mum had all she wanted. But was very submissive and put up with a lot.
Mum has sold the large family home to downsize to a bungalow. This is a small town where everyone knows everyone and absolutely everyone knew my dad-he was a local face so to speak. She is now very very comfortable.
Mum is strong, savvy and sensible however when a man is in control she reverts to a totally submissive and led persona.
The bungalow needs a lot of modification, she is having a door knocked from her front bedroom into the smaller room behind in order to have a dressing room and en-suite built in there. She will have a new kitchen and new main bathroom as well. There is a current old kitchen extension that will be knocked down and replaced slightly larger and more insulated. The whole bungalow is to be skimmed and redecorated.
She has been quoted £48000 and the builders started the following week.
She hasn't got an itemised or breakdown quote just a whole do this job for this amount type of thing.
Some problems have arisen already and I'm getting a wobbly feeling about it all.
First glitch is that following randomly knocking a hole in the wall to the smaller room (which would then Be divided in half back to front creating two long thin rooms, on on the window side of the original room and one on the other-the door to the en suite (window side) would be mid way down the other long thin room. So one door off the master bedroom into dressing room and a door from there into en-suite.)
So following knocking the hole I go round and it's obvious that the door is too far over and hasn't allowed enough depth for wardrobes goubg Along the long side. This was resolved by him saying he could put a smaller door in to allow more wardrobe space and I did say that this should have all been checked prior to avoid this-he said mum was happy with it before I arrived and I replied that's because she hadn't considered that he hadnt allowed enough space. The entire time my mum is trying to placate the builder and telling me it's all fine and that she will make do, not to worry.
The builder also start musing that he won't be able to put a window in the en-suite despite there currently being one in there atm.
Move forward to the kitchen extention-mum calls me upset to say that she will have to have a conservatory rather than an extension as pipes run under the existing extension and he'd need planning permission and building regs which would get turned down due to the pipes. He suggested they could do a proper extension maybe but it's take months to go through planning and they be on the job longer, she be longer in a mess etc, so naturally she agree with him on the conservatory.
All this is news to mum and I.
I go round and we discuss why this is only be bought up now, why wasn't this considered prior to quoting, why why why. So then ok suddenly he is able to do a proper extension but it will take longer and cost more. 5k more. Which when you don't know more than what is a little useless info!
Which of course I query as this is after all what mum thought she was getting in the first place.
So then I ask if we could have a breakdown of costs/jobs so we can see where the money goes. And he flips.
Says I'm mistrusting, he has a top notch reputation, that I was rude to him yesterday over the wardrobes (I was assertive)
He threatened to leave the job, that he knew I'd be back today causing trouble etc etc-my mum grabbed his hand! And said that I didn't mean it, and that I was only looking out for her. He says he has taken coving down without charging her that he has saved her money on the electrics etc so I repeat that a breakdown would be good for all of us to see just where the savings are so that we can apply the extr else where if needed. He flounces our and mum and I had words but basically she told me to leave it. This guy comes recommended from a trusted friend of my dad, this is just how they work, that trust is so important to their generation and I had undermined him, that it'll all be fine. She called the friend who recommended the builder round after I left to smooth things over. And his word is now gospel and she won't see reason that all I asked for was a breakdown, that the builder shouting at me isn't a good sign etc.
I'm heartbroken that she is so easy to ignore how I was treated (I'd never let anyone speak to her that way) let alone the potential mess she may be getting into financially
I need to impress that I only stepped in due to a tearful phone call from her asking for my help and things went from there.
Ontop of the 48000 mum will have to pay out for the actual kitchen, bathroom and en-suite suites the tiles, tiler and plasterer.
Aibu does this sound dodge?
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