Upstairs neighbour noise

[Rumbleofthetumble]

The family upstairs aren’t known for tiptoeing around. The children clearly bomb from heights on to the floor regularly resulting in huge thuds and walls shaking (thanks new build).

Thankfully not working from home anymore so don’t have to hear it all day long like the first lockdown with the children running around all day.

However, my biggest gripe and here’s where I’m asking AIBU, they have their tumble drier in the bedroom above mine. Regular as clock work it’s turned on at 7pm (when I’m putting DC to bed) and still going when I get in to bed at 11/11:30pm EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I hear the constant hum/vibration followed by the small pause before it starts up again. If ever I’m shattered and decide on an early night I can’t sleep for hours for the constant stop start hum.

So MN
YANBU this is anti-social/unacceptable
YABU it’s necessary just shut up and put up

Weighing up whether having a word will help or make matters worse. They’re not the most approachable. Hoping the poll helps me decide if IABU

Having had a lot of problems with noisy neighbours and crap sound insulation, I sympathise. Kids bombing onto the floor is not acceptable or reasonable in my view.

The tumble drier is a different matter—they are not doing anything wrong in putting it on but the terrible sound insulation turns it into a noise nuisance.

I’m afraid the first step needs to be a calm and polite chat with them. Make up your mind in advance what your ‘ask’ is going to be, explain that the insulation is poor and you wonder if they could kindly not allow kids to jump on the floor if that is what’s happening and would they be able to run the tumble drier at x time instead (have a broad window of acceptable time ready).

If they get nasty and/or vindictive, you should complain to their landlord or environmental health dept of the local council. In the event of uncooperative behaviour, log everything—dates, times, what the noise was and the effect it had on you. But many people are quite reasonable and will try to accommodate you.

It’s difficult to complain to someone’s face but if you want things to change there seems to be no alternative. Try to word it in terms of the effect it had on you rather than accusing them if you see what I mean so that you don’t get their backs up unnecessarily. But stick to your guns.

Are they out at work during the day? Dryers do take forever and they might do a couple of washes a day and not want to dry it all when they're out. I can't see an answer to this one but I can see how irritating it must be. If you chatted to them about it what do you think their reaction might be? Ask them if they can move the drier to another room so it's not directly above you? Good luck.

I would definitely say something but pick your battles. If it were me I’d bring up the tumble drier: Explain that the vibration travels particularly strongly for some reason and it’s really disturbing your evening. Ask if they’d consider an anti vibration mat or just using it earlier in the day.

antivibrationmat

I would just let them know that the soundproofing is terrible in the building, their tumble dryer is above a bedroom (is their layout the same so it is in a bedroom too? Or is it that their kitchen is over your bedroom so that they might not realise how much they are disturbing you?) and the fact it runs every night is disturbing you.

Tubledryers do take a while but every night for 4+ hours until 11pm when you know you live in a flat is antisocial. Everyone expects to hear a bit of noise - I can hear my upstairs neighbours washing machine/occasional door slamming/loud voices and I can hear a low level murmur from my my next door neighbours TV, but they are low level noises and not constantly, at high volumes every day. Also, even with kids, how is the neighbour producing enough washing that requires 4+hrs of tumble drying every day?!

I would ask if they could either reduce the amount of tumble drying they do (every other day rather than every day, as a start) or ask them to change the time they do it, even just a couple of nights a week so you have some peaceful nights. If they are rude/uncooperative then I would try a more formal route - if they're a renter then I would contact their landlord and if they own then I would contact your local environmental health team to find out about noise levels

Maybe they only want to use the tumble dryer when they are home due to fire risk ?
I only put mine on when I’m home in case of over heating.
My tumble dryer isn’t very noisy though ?
My washing machine would make more noise , dryer doesn’t vibrate at all.

I wouldn’t say anything , I’d just wear ear plugs.

To answer a few questions- yes our layout is identical so the drier is in a bedroom. I’m not sure whether this is theirs or the children’s but imagine it must be noisy for them too.

I absolutely understand if they must do a load every day, I do too. But then I dry clothes on airers or on the radiator if it’s needed for the next day. I’m always mindful that I live in a flat and am aware how the sound travels so do not allow DC to make excessive noise after 7/8pm weekday/weekend or run the washing machine past 9pm etc.

If the drier were above the open plan living/dining area I wouldn’t have such an issue at all with it continuing until 11pm given I can drown the noise out but when I’m in bed, all distractions are off and you can hear the constant stop/start hum directly above and it’s frustrating. Not to mention when they then throw in the Hoover for good measure at 10pm.

@EyelinerRocks I have tried ear plugs but it stops me hearing DC stir so aren’t an option right now. I don’t want to be the moany neighbour but it is unbearable

Definitely suggest the anti vibration mat OP. They make a huge difference.

I'm not sure a noise I was used to would keep me awake. People sleep next to trainlines.

Is it possible the irritation about the noise is more of an issue?

If it is genuinely loud, you can ask them to stop at a more reasonable time. Do you own? If not you can complain more forcefully as it won't be you having to declare the issue when you sell!

Have you checked the lease? In newer ones, there are often restrictions on stacking so that kitchens and bathrooms are only above kitchens and bathrooms / bedrooms on top of bedrooms for precisely this reason. It’s a completely reasonable point to take up with them.

I wouldn’t mention the noisy jumping kids. I would explain that the tumble dryer is just above your bedroom and as you go to bed at 10pm, it is disturbing your sleep. Ask them if they wouldn’t mind trying the antivibration mat (I would buy one and give it to them when you have the conversation, it’s only £9) and ask if they wouldn’t mind not using the tumble dryer after 10pm.
They probably have no idea that it’s disturbing you and a quiet chat with a reasonable request might work

@BefuddledPerson I have ASD and noises cause overstimulation and stress for me so this could be part of the problem. However DH also finds it difficult to drop off to sleep with the sound so often comes to bed after midnight once it has stopped.

Thanks for all your replies.
We both rent so not an issue for selling.
I will think about how best to approach whether to knock? (Covid) or post a note?
The children playing is not a problem and is part and parcel of living in a flat and I appreciate that. I just think the drier could be stopped by 9pm - I think that’s a reasonable ask? As I say I manage to dry loads daily inside as don’t own a tumble drier.

I think it’s one of the problems of flats and new builds. I don’t think it’s U to use your tumble drier at 7pm (unless it’s broken and making a racket). She may be trying to urgently wash and dry school uniforms, work clothes, bedding (if potty training or a child is ill).

The jumping off furniture would annoy me but only if it carried on after 10pm or started before 6am.

You could send a polite card round mentioning the noise travels a lot and is keeping you/your son awake? Or have a chat to her, mention how bad the soundproofing is etc. If you can hear her kids she can probably hear yours, so I wouldn’t make an enemy of her. He might go through phases of screaming in the night or getting up and running around at night so you need her on your side.

I think asking that tumble drier stops before 11pm is more reasonable than 9pm.

Have you tried noise-cancelling headphones?

Since the dryer is in a bedroom, I dont think it is unreasonable for you to ask that the noise stops by 9pm if that is the time you go to bed, especially when this isnt just a one off occurance, this is every single night. Nobody generates that much "essential" laundry that they need to have a dryer going 4+hours every night. I dont have a dryer but if I need something washed and dried overnight then I just stick it on the radiator, everything else goes on an airer and put the heating on high for an hour or two before bed, in addition to the usual hour in the morning - everything I need on the radiators is usually fully dry by morning.

My kitchen is sandwiched between my bedroom and living room and the upstairs neighbour is the same layout. Sitting in my living room I can hear their washing machine fairly clearly as their washing machine, like mine, has had to be plumbed in right next to the living room wall, but in my bedroom I can't really hear anything as it is 'through two rooms'. You need to tell them that as it is in the bedroom it is disturbing your sleep and they either need to move it to a different room or run it earlier (or later - would it disturb you if it kicked in in the early hours? I'm a very heavy sleeper so as long as I'm already asleep most things wont wake me, whereas my ex could be woken by a pin dropping outside, so if their dryer was set to go on overnight it wouldnt disturb me the same way a dryer going from 7-11pm would)

I’m aware how much noise my washing machine makes even with a sound proof mat beneath hence only using it until latest 9pm but usually always by 7pm. The glasses in my kitchen cupboards rattle when my machine or theirs above is on so you can see how poor this new build is.

I don’t want to be unreasonable and don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable about noise they make, equally it is driving us mad (the tumble drying only).

I don’t know their full circumstances as to why they need to dry things each evening so am trying to be understanding. They are in most weekends (as are we during lockdown hence knowing as can hear them) so know they do loads then too which isn’t a problem. But as I have the same size family (4 of us) and no drier I’m not sure why they must use the drier every night until so late when I manage using the radiators and clothes drying racks.

@Rumbleofthetumble

I’m aware how much noise my washing machine makes even with a sound proof mat beneath hence only using it until latest 9pm but usually always by 7pm. The glasses in my kitchen cupboards rattle when my machine or theirs above is on so you can see how poor this new build is.

I don’t want to be unreasonable and don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable about noise they make, equally it is driving us mad (the tumble drying only).

I don’t know their full circumstances as to why they need to dry things each evening so am trying to be understanding. They are in most weekends (as are we during lockdown hence knowing as can hear them) so know they do loads then too which isn’t a problem. But as I have the same size family (4 of us) and no drier I’m not sure why they must use the drier every night until so late when I manage using the radiators and clothes drying racks.

I’m not sure why they must use the drier every night until so late when I manage using the radiators and clothes drying racks. But that's your choice and actually unhealthy for the family and potentially damaging to the property if this is what you do regularly.

I have a tumble dryer, also upstairs, and wouldn't use as late as your neighbour, but would have it going in the room next to my sleeping/going to bed school age child. Likewise, can really barely hear it underneath it.
It sounds as though you've focused on this noise, so the more you hear it, iykwim?
I think that yabu to raise this with them tbh. If it were later than 11pm,every night, then maybe.
But it sounds as though they perhaps don't have lots of school uniform so need to wash and dry for the next day. Or perhaps like to keep on top of the washing so that they don't get in to the situation of having to have it drying in the flat and in radiators permanently.

Maybe you live in a block that has poor sound insulation? My neighbour also uses her washer/dryer late at night but I'm only aware because when it does the spin the floor vibrates slightly. I can't actually hear it at all. If you can hear your neighbour's, looks like it's a case of poor sound insulation.

I mean are you sure the kids are constantly jumping off furniture? If you can hear a dryer (which let's face it is not usually a noisy machine) you're probably hearing everyday noise really loud too.

I agree it’s likely I am focussing on the noise so find I tune it to it. As I said in PP I have ASD so find noises like this stressful but understand this is my problem and not theirs.

In regards to the regular drying of clothes inside, it is not unusual not to have a tumble drier and considering the poor sound proofing am happy to continue without and am sure my downstairs neighbour would approve.

It’s mixed reviews so I will hold off mentioning it in the hope I can find a way to live with it as I don’t want to make them uncomfortable or make things worse in any way.

Thanks for the replies, appreciate the time taken.

There’s no harm in raising that it vibrates and would they consider using a mat, which you could offer to buy for the sale of neighbourly harmony.

I would knock on and ask face to face though as it’s really easy to misinterpret or ignore a note.

I’m not sure why they must use the drier every night until so late when I manage using the radiators and clothes drying racks

Drying clothes on racks and radiators can cause black mould and condensation build up (unless you dry it in an enclosed room with a powerful dehumidifier running all night). Most rental contracts state you must not dry clothes on racks or radiators.

There could be numerous reasons they wash their clothes more often, eg school specifying uniforms are laundered daily, child could be ill or have continence issues. Maybe they don’t have much money for clothes so have to wash the ones they have more often?

Offer to pay for one of those sound absorbing mats

It’s mixed reviews so I will hold off mentioning it in the hope I can find a way to live with it as I don’t want to make them uncomfortable or make things worse in any way.

How will it make matters worse? Have you fallen out with each other?

I had to ask my neighbours to do something about some noise late at night. I felt a bit awkward asking. They had no idea we could even hear them and were so apologetic. I still hear the noise (I’m ok with that - it can’t be helped that the walls and floors are thin) but they now stop before it gets late. And no one was harmed or upset in the process!

Basically I’m saying don’t build it up to be bigger than it is. It might be a case of it all being easily sorted with a note/conversion/text.