To ask if the dentist will judge me?

[DefrostingBuble]

I had a very deprived childhood and didn’t get basic things such as toiletries and toothpaste.

As a result as an adult, and complete with mental health issues, I neglect my dental health.

I have had several fillings already but still struggle with the brushing twice a day - I know how bad this sounds so please no hate.

I now have major toothache but as well as anxiety about the treatment itself, I am anxious the dentist will look at my teeth and know how bad I am and think I’m disgusting. They’re not falling out/black or anything that extreme but I am so ashamed it makes me want to cry 😭

They'll have seen worse.
Let them know about your situation and your anxiety. Many, many dentists are really good and making anxious patients feel at ease.
They will NOT judge you.

Please book your appointment ASAP x

I don't think they will judge you - it's their job! They will be happy to help and give any advice you need.
What I always say to my DS about people judging him - people really don't care - they may potentially make some comments then they will go and make a cup of tea and soon be thinking of something much more important and not think of you again!

You wont be judged.
DH has a really grotty mouth, think teeth broken below gumline, cavities, discoloured hard plaque, and hes never been judged.

Much of your toothache is possibly down to your anxiety, clenching and grinding teeth often leads to tiny hairline cracks (btw was given a piece of advice from a dentist to rub sensitive toothpaste in the area)
I've got hairline cracks in several teeth, never been judged.
I also think it's quite normal for people to have a filling or two. I'm certainly one of the few adults I know without a filling (and it's just luck, I used to drink 2l of cola a day, and my oral hygiene is often bad-suffered CSA and sometimes having a toothbrush anywhere near my mouth is enough to make me heave)

I had regular dental care growing up and into adulthood, but I have to admit that I neglected my teeth for many years and am now paying the price. It took me a long time to pluck up the courage to see a dentist. I have now been under his care for a couple of years and he has carried out a lot of work on my teeth. I was so embarrassed and anxious at my first appointment. I told them I was very nervous and they were really kind and patient with me. I'm so glad I finally went. I really regret not taking care of my teeth.

Do go to the dentist, even though you're worried, it'll be ok. You'll feel so much better and relieved.

My dentist told me he got bored in his practice once all the patients with issues had been treated, and he got everyone up to a good standard.

Your dentist is a professional, he or she will have seen it all before and will find your Teeth more interesting Than someone who just needs a polish.

They will have seen worse, don't worry. And they will not judge you! Really don't worry.

I would make sure to brush properly before going though if you can. I think that's just a way of showing that you are not being inconsiderate towards the dentist if you see what I mean.

Well done for going.

You need to seek a dentist who has recommendations for anxiety, fear etc

I’m going to be honest some are absolute arseholes Without realising they are being so. I know, as I have similar situation to you. I found a dentist that broke my fear, made me realise I’m not alone. If you pm me your area I may be able to recommend one. Good luck. Do it! X

when you make an appointment, be sure to mention you are an anxious patient and scared. They will accommodate those needs.

Then just give your teeth a really good scrub before you go.

You'll feel tons better after treatment so focus on that. Write down positive things like " I can do this. The dentist is going to mend my teeth. No more toothache. I'll be relaxed and happy when I'm pain free". Keep it in your pocket, say it to yourself

Defo tell them you are a nervous patient. Far from being embarrassing it means they actually understand and help.

My dental maintenance suffers when I'm depressed or anxious, this year has been awful.

I put my earphones in and close my eyes.

You can do this

Maybe but who cares they haven't lived your life.
I've to get 2 wisdom teeth out the dentist made a smart comment, they were flustered when I agreed my teeth weren't great after years of mild neglect as a DC and aneroxia throughout my teens and early twenties.
Tell them you're anxious and don't want to be scolded out loud.
They're the only health care professionals I've met that expect you to live to their standard.

They will not judge you. I went a couple of years ago, first time I had been in 16 years! I was so embarrassed when the dentist asked me when I last had a check up. But she was absolutely lovely about it

I'm no alcoholic but in my stupid stupid youth I got on my bike after drinking for several hours, smashed the curb, required extensive and ongoing dental treatment and stitches by a plastic surgeon whose department was closed and they had to open it up just for me. Three of my teeth are half fake.

I'm a pretty nice person but Jeezo i screwed up there. You'd never know to meet me op. And my dentist is lovely. Your own self judgement is far worse than anyone else's will ever be.

You'll definitely feel better after the visit keeping in mind things are never as bad as them seem.

Please please don’t worry, the dentist will have seen it all before and is there to help you have the healthiest mouth possible! You could honestly just print out what you’ve said here and give it to them at the start of you appointment - they will understand. Good luck darling, it will be fine I promise!

I had rare visits to the dentist as a child as my mum was terrified, she wasnt aware of dental health and my teeth were in quite a bad state by my teen years, resulting in losing 2 teeth to an absess and having a denture at 16. My teeth are literally held together by fillings, but on the while as soon as I took matters into my own hands as soon as I was old enough to go alone and found a lovely lady dentist. You won't be judged and I think once my teeth starting looking nice again i took more interest in looking after then and have kept up dentist visits religiously
Dont be scared or embarrassed, you deserve to have healthy teeth and a lovely smile

Just make sure you tell them how nervous you are. I hadn’t been for 15 years and he honestly couldn’t have been more understanding, caring and non-judgemental.

Honestly, the feeling of relief (And of pride in yourself) for doing that first appointment is amazing.

Tell them you want all the numbing gel possible before the injection, then an injection big enough to numb an elephant.

The last thing a dentist wants is a patient who feels any pain - it’s going to make their job 10 times harder than it already is working in a pretty small space. They would much rather know that their patients can’t feel a thing.

Blimey, am actually proud of myself for writing and knowing this, given how long I’d put it off for.

Best of luck - you really will be fine.

No they won't judge, it's their job

They wont judge. My teeth were a complete disaster - think being referred to the hospital dentist and over 50% extractions. They were so nice and kind (possibly because I was a sobbing mess )

I would also recommend explaining your situation over the phone. My last dentist was so unkind and often scolded me for my teeth. The last time, I just sat in the waiting room afterwards and cried. I changed to a new dentist and he’s so lovely and polite and kind. He’d never treat a patient like that. But, your teeth need sorted and it’s only going to get worse, so please be brave and make an appointment. Most dentists are wonderfully professional.

No, they want to help you. It's their trade, they want to save you any future dental pain.

On days where brushing teeth seems to overwhelming so you think you’d feel up to doing a quick tongue clean with a tongue cleaner and use some mouthwash? Less effort than the full routine but would give your oral health a bit of a boost.

A good dentist won't judge. Please ask for recommendations for a good dentist in your area for those with anxieties.

I grew up with a fear of dentists and it took time to find one I was comfortable with.

In my experience (extreme dentist phobia) they actually admire you for seeking help. Definitely explain to them about how you feel, they’ll look after you.

They won’t judge, and they will definitely have seen worse

I didn’t see a dentist for about 10 years and when I finally plucked up the courage to go I was embarrassed to admit how long it had been and was convinced I’d need loads of work done. My dentist is lovely and very calm, he didn’t judge me and I actually escaped with just a deep clean. Since then I’ve had a couple of minor issues which have been much easier to fix since I’m already registered with them.

Please do try and get into the habit of brushing twice daily. I’m not judging, I have plenty of bad habits of my own which damage my health! But it will hopefully help you avoid having more dental issues in the future, prevention is much better than cure!

I went fir the first time in years two weeks ago. I need to get 5 fillings in January and all the dentist said was "it's not as bad as you made it out!". I'm also getting my wisdom teeth out under GA as they're all impacted. Either way. Don't be scared. They won't do anything that hurts without an injection. PM if you want a dental buddy! I'm doing exactly the same as you