To have no sex drive whatsoever anymore...

[boymumx]

The last few months and since I've found out I'm pregnant with our second, the thought of having sex just makes me shudder. I love my fiancé but I just don't want to have sex at all.
Our 2 year old still wakes in the night and I'm a sahm, so I live in pj's, I don't really have any friends so (covid removed) it's not like I'd have much of a social life anyway. I'm constantly tired, bored of the same shit everyday & I don't even recognise the person in the mirror.
I am a mum first and foremost and I feel like it's completely ripped me of my libido.

Please can anyone else relate? I feel so awful as my fiancé is constantly trying to get me in the mood but no matter how hard I try, I just can't do it  we used to have sex at least everyday before our son was born!

Please tell me it gets better!!

Honestly it’s totally natural. Pregnant animals do not wander around shagging. I know some people get horny when pregnant but it’s a minority.

Give him massages and blow jobs to keep some kinda sexual relationship alive, and say “yes I really miss sex too but I just don’t get horny when I’m pregnant, looking forward to getting libido back later but in meantime...”

The not feeling attractive/ being tired and lonely is a different and much more challenging issue, but that will get much better as kids get older. Tricky bit is to somehow maintain the relationship in the meantime.

I hope you've explained to him how and why you feel, rather than just turn away. If he loves you he will understand.
But you in turn must know that this can't go on indefinitely. You can't expect him to go without sex forever.

Give him BJs ffs

Does "trying to get you in the mood" mean your fiance:
A. Refularly takes your child, sends you off for a long soak in the bath, makes sure you come out to clean bed linen and a tidy kitchen, and deals with the night wakings at least twice a week
Or
B. Paws at you demanding yet more from you when you're touched out and shattered?

You had sex every day before pregnancy? That sounds exhausting

@CrotchBurn lol young and in love ... nothing better to do in the evenings

@OrangeGinLemonFanta not specifically those things no, he does help with cleaning up, useless at cooking mind. Works long hours so can't really do night wakings unless he's got a long weekend off. I've tried explaining that you can't just be at work all day - come home to sit on your phone - not pay any attention to me - then when we get ready for bed expect me to be randy and ready but I do know I need to make more of an effort if I'm expecting him to with more housework. I just find my actual desire to even get unclothed is so bloody strong right now!!

Give him massages and blow jobs

Yes, when you've been looking after a toddler all day and doing all the the housework after doing night waking, all whilst pregnant, do be a good girl and suck his cock.

Also make sure you have a face full of make-up on when he returns from work and a meal on the table 🙄

@Suckmyfatone Thank you—I was frankly quite shocked that the first two suggestions were what they were. OP, you are pregnant. You are growing a whole human. That takes a physical, mental and emotional toll. If anything, seeing as he is unable to gestate life and share the work, he really should be asking what more he can do to make YOU happy. And if that means accepting you might not be up for sex as often for a few months he needs to be a grownup and be ok with it.

Try kissing, cuddling or massage, it doesn't have to lead to sex, reconnect as lovers as opposed to just being parents.
Get out of the pjs that will make you feel negative, get showered and dressed, light make up if you wear it will help your mood. You are doing these things for you first and fore most. also try getting out for a short walk each day even if it's for 10 minutes.