"You know" rage

[Pebbles16]

I've just been on an online training course and honestly the person delivering the talk said "you know" every other sentence. I actually had to quit because I had such rage.
The presenter has done many online videos that I've found very useful but this is the first time I've heard her live.
I appreciate that live presenting is difficult (it's a huge part of my job), but if you have such an obvious linguistic tic, PLEASE do not inflict it on your listeners.
I need to calm down I know, it is beyond a first world problem, but my ears are hurting from the "you knows". No, I don't know! That's why I'm attending the training.

I'd feed it back to her. She probably doesn't know

She won't know that she knows, y'know.

I appreciate that live presenting is difficult (it's a huge part of my job), but if you have such an obvious linguistic tic, PLEASE do not inflict it on your listeners.

And how exactly do you propose that she doesn't "inflict" it on you?

Do you know the person ? Could she have been just a bit nervous? You are right, you need to calm down, you'll come across all sorts of these minor annoyances.
Basically, obviously, do you know what I mean.. these are a few I've noticed but rage would be a bit OTT.

@bearlyactive

I appreciate that live presenting is difficult (it's a huge part of my job), but if you have such an obvious linguistic tic, PLEASE do not inflict it on your listeners.

And how exactly do you propose that she doesn't "inflict" it on you?

By being aware of it Thank you to PPs who suggest I should make her aware, but how to do it gently?

My sympathies, I once left a one day training course at lunchtime because the training was so, so bad. My boss asked why I left and I had to explain just how bad it was.

This was a major international company!

@WhyNotMeThough

Do you know the person ? Could she have been just a bit nervous? You are right, you need to calm down, you'll come across all sorts of these minor annoyances. Basically, obviously, do you know what I mean.. these are a few I've noticed but rage would be a bit OTT.

Not personally. She is a professional in her field. I would love to give constructive feedback but apart from saying "you know" every 30 seconds is really annoying (which is harsh), I'm not sure how to do it

She doesn’t know, you might do something and not know. My colleague say hmmmm a lot. Was the content good? If so how many courses are you going on? I’d leave it

Thank you to PPs who suggest I should make her aware, but how to do it gently?

The ubiquitous feedback form at the end?

I have been on 2 fire Marshall training courses with a man who said “do you agree” at the end of every sentence like it was a verbal full stop. Every time he said it I wanted to say “No. No I don’t agree”! ‘‘Twas very annoying.

Correct me if I'm wrong, obviously, but surely being aware of it isn't going to make it just disappear?

She doesn’t know, you might do something and not know.

Eh? Are you the training-giver?

I have a relative who always says turned around, as in, I turned around and said or he turned around and went etc etc

Very annoying.

Correct me if I'm wrong, obviously, but surely being aware of it isn't going to make it just disappear?

Well, yes, making someone aware of something is the most obvious to stop them doing something repeatedly.

a training course without feedback forms?
or did she tell everyone about the feedback forms at the end, after you'd left?

Unless someone edits her training videos, she must be aware y'know, otherwise she'd say it on a loop throughout the videos too.

I’ve fed back in a similar situation, where the person was using “obviously”. I framed it as- “hi trainer thanks for the session today. I just wanted to feedback that you might want to think about using the word “obviously” less as - although I know you’re not using it in this way- it can come across badly and be misinterpreted. Attendees are here to learn from you and they may not find things obvious. You are of course welcome to accept or reject as you see fit. Thanks again. CRbear”

I have a relative who always says turned around, as in, I turned around and said or he turned around and went etc etc

Have you tried asking him why he had to turn around to say it?

Not personally. She is a professional in her field.
I would love to give constructive feedback but apart from saying "you know" every 30 seconds is really annoying (which is harsh), I'm not sure how to do it

Maybe there will be a chance to feedback via a survey or form. If there is you could do that.

She probably has no idea. I noticed , after watching a zoom session recording I did at the start of lockdown, that I constantly said "erm..". I don't know how long I've been doing it but hopefully not so much any more.

I’m with you op. I have a director who likes to present at every bloody opportunity. His verbal tic is saying ‘essentially’ all the fucking time. Drives me mental. Never asks for feedback and wouldn’t give a shit if anyone found him annoying!

Yes, don't make assumptions. He might have been facing the wrong way. 👌

Ah the feedback form... great idea. Hopefully I get one. I should have muted the whole debacle and got to the end
First 10 minutes - great - because it was scripted, then just fell into "you know" abyss.

My old team leader said this over and over and it drove me crazy
Sometimes she used to say to a client 'well you could you know, you know do that but you know with the you know input'
It was infuriating

I think it was a habit, like a tic

I had a boss who'd give rather incoherent instructions, peppered with "know what I mean?" Er, no, I don't.

I get the rage when anyone repeatedly says “emm” when pausing during training or a presentation. Makes me fidget in my seat.

I had to have weekly meetings where the speaker was even worse. Where yours said "You know" mine said "Yo". I feel your pain!