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[PollyPocket19]

Hello all,

I hope you are all staying safe in these Covid times. Apologies if this is in the wrong section but my first time posting on Mumsnet so not sure if I’m doing it right!

I can’t believe I’m posting about something as petty as social media but I’ve never been through this before so I was just looking for other people’s views etc.

So recently on Instagram I have been receiving these strange messages. They call me names and then tell me to stop having an affair with ‘their friends husband’ (I’m most definitely not I’m happily married) and these messages vary from just saying that to ‘if you don’t stop we will tell your boss’ now. At this point I hadn’t responded because I assumed it was mistaken identity so I said I didn’t know what they were on about and would happily give my bosses email because obviously I’ve done nothing wrong. At which point they blocked me. I thought it was odd but tried to forget about it, I got a couple of DM requests a few days later but when I went to look at them they had disappeared so I’m assuming I had been blocked. I blocked that account and tried to forget about it.
About a week or so later a new account pops up saying the same thing, nasty names and that I’m having some sort of an affair and again before I can say anything back, they block me. All in all about 4 accounts have been made.
I went on google to look up what this could be and apparently (and please correct me if I’m wrong) things more or less fall into three categories
Trolling
Cyber-Bullying
Online Harassment.
I looked at each of these things and apart from them call me names and saying I’m going to tell your boss, there are no threats and there is nothing violent. I don’t think it warrants going to the police and also all the accounts are fake wife zero followers/following. The only other thing I read was malicious communications but is that the same as what I’ve received?
Also really sorry for the formatting of this message, done on phone!
Interested in hearing your views!
P

It’s nothing. Just ignore it.

It’s most certainly not a police matter 🙄

Thanks @emilyfrost yes that's what I was thinking, I just questioned it because it has been going on a while. You know what it's like when you put things into google! It was coming up with things like harassment, malicious communication etc and I was wondering if swearing or accusing me of something I've definitely not done fell under those things!
I don't want to waste police time at all!

Yeah, it’s either a case of mistaken identity or trolling. Either way just keep ignoring and blocking.

@emilyfrost yes sorry I'm super new to insta and all the lingo etc, is trolling effectively just being a bitch for no reason on social media?
I think if they actually emailed my boss, matters would be different but to me it seemed an empty threat.
They also messaged one of my friends but I think only a couple of times, just about how they shouldn't trust me and I'm having this affair! I'd love to know who it's with! As I'm sure does my H!

A troll is just someone who goes out of their way to upset people or wind them up. They’re all over the internet, including on mumsnet; you’ll come across them often.

Thanks @emilyfrost I think I'm probably being abit naive

Out of interest, does anyone have any examples of 'malicious communication'? Is it threatening to kill someone?

Set your profile on private.
They shouldn't be able to see your foloowers or who you are following then. That will take care of one thing.

It's very unpleasant but bar leaving and starting new account eith a different name, I don't know what you could do to stop it.

If you are new to it, shut your account down for a bit.

Hi @SchrodingersImmigrant my profile is on private now, I get 'message requests' from the person but before I even click into it the message dissapears which according to my research, means they blocked me very quickly after sending it.

When I have seen the messages they just say the same thing - nasty names 's**t etc and that I'm to stop messaging this illusive married man. It's been going on a while but it's not malicious comms?

OP harassment is a police matter, I don’t know why people think being online gives some kind of immunity.

Log it with 101.

Thanks @KatieGGGG I did look into the harassment side of things but apparently I have to say go away don't contact me again etc before the police consider it to be harassment?

The only reason I haven't said this is because I get blocked too quickly after

Just a quick question @PollyPocket19. If you have your Instagram on private, they couldn't have seen your contacts. How did they then know your friend. Can it be someone who actually knows you?

Sorry @SchrodingersImmigrant should have been more clear, my Instagram was public prior to this so possibly!

Ah. In taht case, I would leave this profile and started new one under nickname and kept it on private. Fastest solution imho. They will just message this one and you won't have a bother.

I don't think police would or even could do much in this situation honestly.

Thanks @SchrodingersImmigrant yes I'm very aware also that I'm sure the police have a lot of other things going on! To be honest I think if they had contacted my work, would it be more of a police matter then?
Have you heard of malicious communication? I take it there's a huge difference between that and accusing someone of having an affair and nasty name calling?
Sorry if the questions are silly, I've just never been in this position before!

It's nkt silly. And it's nkt taht police has better things to do. It's just not really realistic they will be able to do much.
If they contacted your work or your home or anyone outside of instagram I would absolutely not hesitate to report them.

Theoretically it could be malicious communication because it contains false information and is offensive, but again. What is a realistic prospect of getting them arrested. It's quite sad, but it's hard to get them.

@SchrodingersImmigrant yes I'm inclined to agree. All these new terms trolling etc are very new to me! Yes like I said they contacted my friend but that was on Instagram. Absolutely if they contacted my work I'd be going straight to the police.
Does this happen a lot? People with fake profiles sending random nasty messages for no reason?
Yes each profile has been fake with zero i formation so I'm assuming the police couldn't do much anyway

Not to me, but I had it on private from the beginning and I have my face as profile picture. Actually I don't have full name too, just short version of it. If you start new one, don't delete this one. Leave it for them to waste time.

It may be someone taking a piss or it maybe mistaken identity as pps said. Maybe she is here reding it and thinking hard about her life choices she made, as she should🤷🏻 Or maybe it's a he. Who knows. Curse and a blessing of internet.

If you get bother on new profile or if it in any way escalates, like into threats or moving onto other platforms or real life, certainly report it though!

@SchrodingersImmigrant thank you, yes I think you're idea of making a new one is probably best! I just assumed mal comms was threatning someone's life/blowing something up etc...

Sorry for all the questions I think I'm just overwhelmed with all the jargon etc

@SchrodingersImmigrant I feel like the only time the police would look into it is if they contacted my work? And when I confronted them about that they blocked me so I think I scared them a little there!

You can unsend messages on Instagram via DM so they may not be blocking you.

Just block the account or change your Instagram username so when they search you again it doesn’t come up.

Take your name off the account too if it’s on there.

Hi @Elfieishere my names not on there anymore I removed :) as I'm sure you can tell I'm not great with technology but my friend said that the reason my message request either dissapeared or had a blank message was because they had blocked me?
Apparently if you send a message and block the message disappears.
I'm learning a lot recently!

[quote PollyPocket19]@SchrodingersImmigrant I feel like the only time the police would look into it is if they contacted my work? And when I confronted them about that they blocked me so I think I scared them a little there! [/quote]
It’s doubtful they would even then. There’s little to no chance they’d ever find out who it was.

We are all learning all the time when it comes to technology. 😁

Just keep safe, don't put details about yourself publicly, keep profiles private and don't believe anyone about any lottery winnings😂