To think that to succeed at work youmust be a skilled politician?

[malificent7]

I have really struggled in the workplace due to politics. I worked hard at school and now at uni, but at work I find it hard to 'fit in'and find my niche. I love my own company and don't thrive from being in groups...how can i overcome this?

I don't think being an older woman helps...i am retraining and some older women seem to dislike me , perhaps as they dont feel they can mother me?

I don't know about needing to be a skilled politician precisely but as an introvert myself I would say it's important to be able to get along with people and if this isn't something that comes naturally to you (as it doesn't to me!) it is something you need to make a bit more of an effort with and work on, as well as finding ways of working that you personally are comfortable with - so having intervals of quiet/alone time to get on with work interspersed with more social/group type activities and meetings.

I have taught myself to get pretty good at small talk and social interaction - it sounds a bit 'fake' but I have a repertoire of light chit chat to use to avoid awkward silences when in the kitchen making tea, at the start and end of meetings and (my previous nightmare scenario!) when running into a colleague on the bus or train or supermarket queue or whatever Go-to topics for me are boring non controversial stuff like the weather, holidays, TV etc., light hearted moans about work (never ever anything which could be construed as bitchy about other people though, that's just asking for trouble) and also enquiring in a gentle sort of way (nothing too prying!) about the other person's families, hobbies etc. If you follow their lead in talking about what they find interesting, your relative ages/backgrounds/positions/grades shouldn't make a huge difference even if you don't have much in common. Now in the days of home working I have to make an effort to make this social contact with people as there aren't the natural opportunities - just small things like making a little chit chat at the start and end of calls or contributing to the work chat group. This seems to be enough to be seen as a friendly, normal person (as far as I know anyway!) whereas in the early days of my career where I was following my own inclination and really only talking to my colleagues about things which were consequential, work-related or interesting, the feedback I frequently got was I came across as shy, unfriendly, a bit odd or in the worst cases 'stuck-up' / or even downright rude.

That being said, I do think the particular workplace and the prevalent cultures/behaviours make a big difference, some places are just toxic and no matter what you do you won't fit in or be liked. If this is the case I'd either just stick your head down and focus purely on work and don't get drawn in to any drama (that's pretty true in general actually!), and/or try and leave asap!