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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to give the nursery staff more for Christmas than my cleaners?

28 replies

Greenleaves20 · 08/12/2020 15:38

I’ve got a lot toddler at nursery and the nursery staff are amazing with him. He has 3 main workers in the baby room and others chip in as and when needed. He’s there for 3 days a week and we pay the nursery around £800 a month for this.

We also have 2 cleaners every other week who work a total of 3 hours and we pay them £45 for 1.5 hours work each (£22.5 each) so £90 a month.

The nursery look after our child and which is obviously a massive responsibility that they really well and he’s thriving there. The cleaners also do a great job but in my mind we should give the nursery staff more in terms of presents/vouchers. However, looking through mumsnet some people seem to say that staff at nurseries etc shouldn’t get lots of presents and then cleaners should get at least the total of their average clean. It seems a bit strange to give the cleaners £20 each and then the nursery a box of chocolates for the staff room when their workloads are so different?

What do other people think?

OP posts:
Findahouse21 · 08/12/2020 15:44

We have a similar set up to you. For us personally, I feel like our cleaner is much more part of our family life - she sees both of our girls each week and chats with them, she saw me soon after giving birth etc. I also feel like for her, her employment is much more casual, so if she lost a couple of clients her income would drop significantly whereas for a nursery worker if a couple of children don't go in turn her money is the same so feel like a Christmas Tip means more to my cleaner

emilyfrost · 08/12/2020 15:45

I don’t think either of them should get anything. They get paid for their work, end of.

TeenPlusTwenties · 08/12/2020 15:47

I think YANBU.
Nursery workers have a massive responsibility and very full-on days for relatively low pay. They also look after your most treasured 'possession'.

ChloeDecker · 08/12/2020 15:51

Technically, your cleaners earn more per hour than the nursery workers do. That £800pm is a red herring as your nursery workers will probably be on NMW so I agree with you about your thinking, OP. If you can afford it, the nursery workers would be very I am sure!

Backbee · 08/12/2020 15:56

It's up to you, presumably the cleaner and the nursery staff won't chat to each other, even if they do it's your money to do as you wish with. In a nursery though with vouchers or whatever it's hard to share out, unless you are okay with it just being for the key worker of course. I would be tempted to get a voucher for them and maybe a tin of chocolates for everyone to share, but just do what you think you want to do would be my advice.

HikerBiker · 08/12/2020 16:00

YANBU, I was surprised at the amount people were giving their cleaners for Christmas on that thread, £50 seemed about average - a week’s pay plus a present or vouchers. DH would be lucky to get that much!

Buddytheelf85 · 08/12/2020 16:03

It’s obviously totally up to you but I am giving my son’s nursery workers more than our cleaner because they look after my child and do an amazing job of it, and despite the high fees I don’t think they get much more than minimum wage.

BoomBoomsCousin · 08/12/2020 17:39

Assuming you are paying the cleaners directly, I think you’re thinking about this wrong. You are giving the cleaners a Christmas bonus because you are, in effect, their employer for those 1.5 hours a fortnight and give them a bonus in part to engender loyalty to you as a client/employer.

But you are giving the nursery staff a token thank you. You aren’t their employer, the nursery is and should be arranging their bonuses or any other perks and compensation to ensure loyalty and commitment to the nursery. You are acknowledging that they have a personal relationship with your child and that you appreciate that.

Original poster
Greenleaves20 · 08/12/2020 22:46

Thanks for some really useful points I hadn’t thought of. @BoomBoomsCousin I hadn’t really thought of it that way!

Need to think what to do... essentially neither the nursery workers or the cleaners are really well paid and it’s always nice to show appreciation of how hard people work at Christmas.

OP posts:
StillCoughingandLaughing · 08/12/2020 23:52

Surely if you’re the one giving the gifts you can decide who gets how much?

SamsMumsCateracts · 08/12/2020 23:59

@BoomBoomsCousin

Assuming you are paying the cleaners directly, I think you’re thinking about this wrong. You are giving the cleaners a Christmas bonus because you are, in effect, their employer for those 1.5 hours a fortnight and give them a bonus in part to engender loyalty to you as a client/employer.

But you are giving the nursery staff a token thank you. You aren’t their employer, the nursery is and should be arranging their bonuses or any other perks and compensation to ensure loyalty and commitment to the nursery. You are acknowledging that they have a personal relationship with your child and that you appreciate that.

There is no nursery in the country that can afford to give their staff perks etc. We work huge hours, on minimum wage, with no sick pay and a huge responsibility. In all my years in this industry, I've never worked in a nursery that give's bonuses. We are mere lowly servants in some parents' eyes unfortunately.
SamsMumsCateracts · 09/12/2020 00:01

Also, it's really insulting that some don't see us as part of their child's family. We are with some of the children in our care for more hours a week than their parents are. We love them like our own, we worry about them, we kiss them better when they're hurt or ill and would give our lives for them. It's sad how underappreciated many of us are.

BoomBoomsCousin · 09/12/2020 01:05

SamsMumsCateracts
There is no nursery in the country that can afford to give their staff perks etc. We work huge hours, on minimum wage, with no sick pay and a huge responsibility. In all my years in this industry, I've never worked in a nursery that give's bonuses. We are mere lowly servants in some parents' eyes unfortunately.

If they don't treat you well enough you can leave and find another job - maybe try your hand at cleaning if you think it's so much better because you might get a week's bonus once a year - never mind that you are self employed, have to pay extra tax, cover your own holidays, insurance, cope with customers who don't pay, travel around all over, find your own clients, deal with the contract issues, etc.

WillSantaBeComingToTown · 09/12/2020 01:07

If you give cash then the nursery staff will probably not get it as they will have to declare it and hand it in to the owners.

TinyGhost · 09/12/2020 01:12

Individual gifts for the main workers in the baby room and a box of chocolates for the staff room. Bonus for the cleaners.

Catsup · 09/12/2020 01:20

From a professional stand point the nursery staff may be limited to the value of the gifts they can receive? For example a gift voucher/personal gift to the value of say £10-20 would potentially have to be refused due to company policy? A big box of chocs/biscuits/bouquet to be shared amongst all staff would be presumably acceptable. If the cleaner is self employed they will of course be able to receive any gifts/bonus given. For nursery staff something along the lines of a box of chocs for all the staff team, plus say a mug or similar small personal gift for the child's keyworker would be okay? I'd steer away from alcohol as a gift as there may also be company regulations around alcohol being an acceptable gift when working in a childcare setting? (some companies are really strict about these things).

Backbee · 09/12/2020 07:01

If they don't treat you well enough you can leave and find another job

Let's hope not all nursery staff take that advice! They are paid an insultingly low amount for the job they do, but as a lot of largely female professions, it takes advantage of the fact that people see it as a vocation rather than just a job, and are passionate about it so pay can be crap and they still find staff. It's not the nurseries fault either, many barely break even.

Thehop · 09/12/2020 07:03

Just a heads up: I work in a nursery and our owner takes our gifts, and puts raffle tickets on them so they’re split by chance and we all get the same number of presents to take home. It’s gutting when a family that’s special to you gets something personal and you lose it. X

Original poster
Greenleaves20 · 09/12/2020 07:29

@TinyGhost that’s kind of what I was thinking!
But @Thehop that seems unfair! If I get particular workers something nice then I’d want them to have it

OP posts:
Tumbleweed101 · 09/12/2020 07:38

In my nursery we keep personal gifts from our key child families but share out chocolates and biscuits so everyone gets something to take home. If not enough gifts come in for everyone to have one we share it while at work.

Gifts are always gratefully received but never expected.

ChessieFL · 09/12/2020 07:53

When my DD was at nursery they asked that if anyone wanted to give anything they would be grateful for donations towards their Christmas party (which they had in January). Probably not an option for this year obviously but maybe something to bear in mind for the future?

Singinginshower · 09/12/2020 21:56

BoomBoomsCousin
I do a different job now, but I have worked as a cleaner, and been happy with pay etc, as it's all been under my control as a self employed person.
I don't have the skills and patience to be a nursery worker, and if I did I'd think I deserved more for nurturing the next generation.

Canyoncall · 09/12/2020 22:09

Also, it's really insulting that some don't see us as part of their child's family. We are with some of the children in our care for more hours a week than their parents are. We love them like our own, we worry about them, we kiss them better when they're hurt or ill and would give our lives for them. It's sad how underappreciated many of us are.

I’d be running in opposite direction if you were looking after my DC

gingerbiscuits · 10/12/2020 06:55

Just do what you want - it's your choice!

Lotsachocolateplease · 10/12/2020 07:23

Surely you value them for the jobs they’re doing regardless of those jobs. Treat them equally! Gift them the same! I just don’t see the problem.