To feel lost with ASD partner

[snowshoes]

He always misunderstands me and either loses his temper or shuts down. Nothing is every his fault and he's never sorry. He has no friends and can't keep a job. I looked on the bright side at the start but it's too many cycles and I'm exhausted. We tried therapy but it didn't help. I want this to work because we have a family but maybe we're just too different?

Being autistic and being an arsehole are not mutually exclusive.

blindhypnosis.com/why-does-he-do-that-inside-the-minds-of-angry-and-controlling-men-pdf-book.html

I don't think him having asd is the issue here! He doesn't sound nice.

If you've already had therapy and that hasn't worked, how are you expecting things will change? If they don't change, can you live the rest of your life with someone like this?

Omg just call it a day - why do you want to live like this?
It sounds a misery and can't be a happy home environment for the kids

Being in a relationship doesnt cure autism so it's no surprise that things like keeping a job or managing friendships are problematic.

Unlike previous posters I cant say whether your partner is an arsehole or just affected by his disability in ways that make many areas of life - like seeing other people's point of view- difficult. What I will say is - this is who he is. Either that's enough for you, or it isnt but dont go forward thinking he will change.

Definitely leave. I'm sorry op but it's not
Going to get any better x