To ask for your worst dinner party experiences?

[Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou]

I know there have been threads on this before, I just absolutely love them for some reason. These and the CF ones are the best! I'll start with mine. I had recently moved with my husband to a new country and my new boss invited me and a few other people from work to his house for dinner. When we arrived he was completely pissed, literally stumbling around drunk. He spent ages showing us a lizard on the wall which we all politely commented on, and waited and waited for the food...He then dropped a box of brownies all over the floor that another guest had brought as a gift and laughed about it for ages. Finally we were asked to sit down for dinner, but he said he couldn't carve the chicken so asked me to do it for him. He then came into the tiny kitchen to watch me try and carve it up and told me how I shouldn't worry, he would make sure I passed my probation at the end of the year. He then persuaded my husband to go in and finish off the job with the chicken before asking him if I was happy at work and if I liked him. We finally got to the table and he starts drinking my wine which I just ignore. He then tells everyone that he has made the bread rolls himself, even though I saw them in a packet in the kitchen. He told us a big elaborate tale about where he found the seeds for them. Dessert was finally served at around 1am, by which time everyone was desperate to get the hell out of there. He said we should take it in turns to host, funnily enough no one ever did take him up on that!

[SpeakingFranglais]

@TinySongstress

Oh I do hope 'Pom Bears' makes an appearance soon. That was my favourite

That’s the first thing I thought when I saw this thread!

[CatherineMorland]

Invited to stay at a new ‘friend’s’ house. I was pregnant and she called me up beforehand to check what I could / couldn’t eat.

Starter was smoked salmon (which she knew I didn’t eat).

Main course was steak tartar.

Pudding was ripe unpasteurised brie.

I couldn’t eat any of it, and was absolutely starving. Plus she lived in the middle of nowhere so I couldn’t nip out and buy something.

Then she got drunk and made a pass at my DH.

I was stupidly polite about it, and ignored the fact she’d gone to extreme lengths to be an absolute cow. Awkward doesn’t begin to cover it!

[MrsBunHat]

A uni friend who was a bit eccentric decided to host a dinner party despite having no idea how to cook at all. But he gamely followed recipes and prepared chicken breasts which were in an oven tray with veg to be roasted.

We all sat around drinking wine until his timer went and he announced the food was ready. He took it out of the oven and put it on plates with salad - totally raw as he’d forgotten to put the oven on! He thought it looked odd he later explained, but he’d followed the recipe so….

Sorry to say the women in the room sorted it all out, washed the plates and cooked the chicken but only because we didn’t want to be poisoned!

[CoquillesStJacques]

I kept hearing stories of the marvellous dinner parties that someone in my social circle threw. This chap’s hobbies were diving and gastronomy, and I heard tales of crab he had caught served with wonderful homemade mayonnaise, superb lobster etc. etc. I had never eaten crab or lobster in my life, the nearest I had got to them was looking in the window at MacFisheries as a child.

I was looking forward to the meal when I was invited to one of his dinner parties, but it wasn’t nice (burnt main course featuring swede and fibrous fruit/runny egg dessert) and it made my IBS flare with explosive results. I mentioned in passing to one of the other guests after that the “food hadn’t agreed with me” and they told the host who was “very upset I had insulted his cooking”.

[Gallowayan]

Mine was some a couple we knew and dinner comprised of baked beans on toast with a poached egg resting on top of the beans.

[Lalliella]

We went round to a couple’s house where the couple had a bit of a rocky relationship. She went into the kitchen and we heard him tell her to fuck off. Later he split some wine and she told him not to worry about it, but went and got 3 different bottles of cleaning fluids and proceeded to make a massive meal of cleaning it up. He had a strop and went to sit in the next room in the dark. We talked amongst ourselves!

[GelfBride]

I had a few dates with a farmer. He was keen but me, not so much so I introduced him to my sister who loves money and whom I am not close to.
When I met my now DH they invited us to dinner. I prewarned him that he would have to try and find a suitable facial expression and stick with it. DBil had cooked the 'bolognese' sauce the night before. It had no tomatoes or herbs in it though so it was more like the bottom of cottage pie. Dsis cooked the pasta (so no effort spent) and dropped a bag of salad onto dish.
DBIL got in from work and he stunk of BO, cows and had dried on cowshit up his arms. DSis suggested politely that he go and shower but he just stood around chatting.
The pasta was cooked and I was wondering if BIL was going to shower but then he sat down with us in his bail bashers and filthy tee shirt.
I hadn't known DH very long but I had told him about them as they are f weird.
BIL starts to grate parmesan cheese but as his hairy shit covered arm was touching the side of the bowl the dried on shit was going in the cheese! My STBDH was gripping my leg and squeezing but I could see it too so we both declined the cheese!
Conversation was a bit stilted as it was warm in the kitchen and the smell coming off BIL was gopping. I'm involved in that sort of thing but DH was not and if you're not used to the smell...but even if you are - bleurgh over what is supposed to be a nice meal.
BIL then went and had a shower but still had cowsh up his arms, it was just wet instead of dry now and then he and DSis had a toe to toe screaming match over who was going to load the dishwasher. We attempted it but I've never used a dishwasher and cocked it up.
Early evening we sat down as Dsis said she had a vid she wanted us to watch and I was mortified when I realised it was an episode from a fairly well know series where my ex had a segment about him his work and a short interview. WTAF? Why would they want us to sit through that when I was with my new bloke? WTF were they thinking. STBDH kept making goggling eyes at me throughout the whole evening but I had prewarned him so just shrugged but eventually I made our excuses early on that we were looking after a dog for a friend and didn't want to leave him any longer and we pissed ourselves laughing all the way home.
Ever since, we have never fancied parmesan.
They topped it by inviting my cousin and his wife to 'Sunday lunch' and not giving them anything to eat at all. They sat there all afternoon with their bellies rumbling and eventually made their excuses. JUst before they left, BIL showed them a frozen leg of his home grown lamb which cousin and his wife thought was a gift and BIL took it back off them and put it back in the freezer! They had a maccies on the way home.
Neither my DSis or her unlovely husband have any idea they are weird. They act like lord and lady muck but they are well matched and pillars of their community. I haven't seen either of them for years as I don't like either of them for separate reasons. That evening is etched as embarrassing and weird af though. If DH smells cows now he looks around to see if it's BIL and we fall about laughing. Tossers!

[whatwasIgoingtosay]

These are great stories! Mine is in the opposite direction from most on this thread. We had neighbours along the road and I was very friendly with the woman. We did lots of social activities together. They had invited us to a couple of dinner parties at their house, so in return I invited them all (friend, her DH and two older teenage kids) for lunch on Boxing Day at our house. I went to consider trouble to put together a lavish buffet of cold meats and salad dishes, followed by a couple of puddings. Not one of them ate a thing! Whenever I pressed them to take a plate and eat something, they all said oh no thanks not just now, or no thanks I'm not hungry. I never found out why they didn't eat my food, but I was very puzzled and found it extremely rude!

[gobackanddoitproperly]

@TinySongstress I'm familiar with lots of the mumsnet legends, but not pom bears. I keep seeing it mentioned. What was the story (if you don't mind telling me)?

[HopeYourHighHorseBucks]

Nothing too outrageous but all includes drinking.

At a dinner party and the host was drunk, she told everyone she had a couple while setting up (later told everyone she hadn't eaten all day) luckily it was all close friends so everyone just drunk fast to catch up with her, while she ate half the buffet. It was me, I was the host 😂



Went to a colleagues bbq and we clearly just interrupted an argument, the whole atmosphere was awkward, sly little digs and shit food. Most of the evening was spent in silence, couples were speaking to each other but whenever one of the hosts would join in, a sly remark was said by the other and it went back to silence.

[Confusedandshaken]

We went to lunch with a distant relation of DH and his wife a few years ago. They have form for being eccentric bad mannered and they didn't let us down.

We got to their beautiful historic home and drinks were served. It was a hot day so the hostess trilled 'let's take the drinks to the pink Queen Anne sitting room, it's cooler in there' and kept repeating it. I don't know if there was another colour Queen Anne sitting room that was hotter and she was worried he might take us in there by mistake. When we got to the pink Queen Anne sitting room, it was stuffy and very dusty. The host pointed out literally 100s of dead flies and wasps on the floor in front of the beautiful Queen Anne windows and explained that they were there because the cleaner was unwell.

The lunch was fine. They are both very weight conscious so it was fat free and bland but OK. Clear soup, plain grilled trout (from the lake in the grounds), steamed veg, no dressing, fresh fruit and yoghurt for dessert. It was more like a penance than lunch party food. I had given them a loaf of homemade sourdough which they put on the table with the starter but there was no butter or oil to go with it. Luckily being weight conscious doesn't stop them enjoying many, many drinks so the wine flowed.

One of the guests had bought a bottle of wine as a gift. When he left the host gave it back to him saying 'you might as well take this back, no one here will drink that.' I was given the remains of the sourdough loaf in the same spirit.

[LakieLady]

I've had the no-food dinner invite too!

My then BF lent his van to a friend of ours, and when he dropped it back, he invited us both to dinner the following Friday.

We rocked up, with a couple of bottles of wine and some chocolates, and they were sitting watching tv in their work clothes. We didn't initially think anything of it, and sat there with rumbling stomachs trying to chat , but after a while it became apparent that they had completely forgotten!

We left after 90 minutes and got fish and chips on the way home, and it was never mentioned to the couple in question.

[User1110]

I got invited to one a few years ago. Had a nice evening - but at the end of the night, the host asked me for money to pay for the food and wine. They had divided to the penny what everything had cost per head (worked out as something like £9.33).

[SlightlyJaded]

Well I'd probably have to say the 'Pom Bears' dinner I had with Mr and Mrs Chopsy... It wasn't awful, but it was bloody bizarre. And then we reciprocated and that was more bizarre...There's a thread in classics if you've got an hour to spare

[SlightlyJaded]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1056940-to-think-this-couple-are-bonkers

I can't believe it was over ten years ago. Blimey

[EmbarrassingMama]

Towards the end of the night the host turned to us and said "I'll be honest, this wasn't as fun as I was expecting it to be".

[Confusedandshaken]

@User1110

I got invited to one a few years ago. Had a nice evening - but at the end of the night, the host asked me for money to pay for the food and wine. They had divided to the penny what everything had cost per head (worked out as something like £9.33).

Lol. We've had similar. Someone asked a group of us to dinner. We were surprised because she is very proud of the fact that she can't cook , she thinks it's a feminist statement to be inept in the kitchen.

We duly arrived , all bearing hostess gifts of wine, flowers, chocolates, home made cakes etc and she produced the local takeaway menu. We ordered the meal and a reasonably good time was had by all. As often happens we had over ordered so she put a lot of food in Tupperware to take to work for lunches during the week. On the way home our phones pinged and we were all asked to send her £4.27 for our share of the takeaway bill.

[RosesAndHellebores]

Oh not the food except the night when my oven went bang many years ago - we just had a takeaway.

However we were at a dinner party decades ago when one of the guests (insufferable investment banker from overseas) started talking about his vasectomy and how it had been his duty. The wife of another guest, whose dh was from a very old banking family, smiled sweetly at the wife and asked "oh do tell me if it affects the taste, I've heard it does". It was very very naughty but oh so deserved. No idea what Mr vasectomy is doing now although he ousted the host from a senior role (not due to the dinner party) but the hosts and other guests remain friends.

[Confusedandshaken]

I'm loving this thread it's bringing back so many memories!

Like the dinner party for DH's bosses as a newly wed. I was so nervous and socially awkward. I can remember a couple of silences after comments I made but happily I can't remember what I said to cause them. I do remember the steaks being so tough that the table was shaking as people tried to saw through them.

Or the time I made a pavlova. After baking the meringue base I inverted it and spread the cream on the flat base but forgot to remove the baking parchment so everyone got a delicious slice of meringue, cream, strawberries - and paper.

The best dinner party I've been to in ages was at a mates last month (in the garden, socially distanced etc). They aren't a foodie family and are not good cooks so she bought in Indian ready meals from a supermarket and we had cornettos for pudding. We laughed and reminisced all night and it was all delicious.

[BlueFishRedFish]

me and dh went to one years ago - very boisterous and we only knew the host and no one else. There were 10 people there and the host was single and everyone else bar us was single.

dh and I were not seated together and we arrived with other people so weren't properly introduced and as we sat down, dh commented on a picture on the wall which he was convinced was by a famous artist. A bloke sitting about 2 away from him disputed this and said it definitely wasn't and they started a fairly vociferous (and loud) debate about who the artist was for about 10 mins. Dh then got up to go to the loo and say hi to the host who was in the kitchen. At which point, another man at the table said 'who the fuck is that prick, does anyone know?' and I was about to open my mouth when someone else said 'what a complete and utter arsehole, who comes into a house like this and starts talking like that' and everyone nodded agreement etc. Dh came back and everyone shut up and he sat down and said 'oh sorry everyone, I didn't introduce myself - I'm dh and this is my wife'.

At which point the entire table turned and looked at me and people went red and started looking at their shoes and the rest of the dinner was a v sombre affair

[randomkey123]

When our DC were at primary, the PTFA started doing a progressive meal around the village..... you had each course at different houses, and hosted 1 yourself with different guests each stage. Then at the end, 1 person had everyone for coffee.......and by that stage, some were beyond drunk. One lady (who was on the committee of said PTFA) who was so very "proper" was absolutely blotto, and showed everyone her bikini wax.... as well as propositioning about 4 other men than her DH. I couldn't look her in the eye for weeks afterwards.......... However when the PTFA put a stop to the whole idea, it got carried on by the village social committee and still happens twice a year. We can always tell from the noise and people staggering round the village with wine bottles

[willowmelangell]

The last dinner party I hosted. Spent the day prepping fresh food and making the table pretty. 3 guests invited. 2 turned up 1.5 hours late(drunk), 3rd was a no show. The two that turned up announced as they sat down, that they were on diets. Picked at the food and drank the booze they brought without offering me any. After they left my dd promptly said, "They never said thank you!"

[CheerfulBunny]

I nearly posted this on a thread about cocaine a while back. Invited to a dinner party with some other people we already knew to be a bit weird but went anyway. They are very upper middle class and wife has a permanent sniff... anyway, they rock up with her sister in tow, clearly coked off their absolute tits, jabbering, screeching and screaming while everyone tried to act naturally. It was torture, I just wanted to go home. Then at one point, the wife decided we weren't paying enough attention to her so she did a weird colapsing/choking thing in a doorway which was obviously an act, it was just so bizarre and embarrassing. Her husband just carried on droning on about his boat.

[ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba]

@SlightlyJaded

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1056940-to-think-this-couple-are-bonkers

I can't believe it was over ten years ago. Blimey

@SlightlyJaded
🤣🤣

it's a classic for a reason!

I don't eat without thinking of you!

[peachescariad]

Another wedding one....4 hour gap between service and reception with no canapes, only to find out that invitations for B list of guests had accidently been sent out so there were virtually double the number of guests, but the B&G couldn't afford to increase the food.
They had to pack the guests in so tightly that you couldn't move your chair back as it was touching the chair of a guest on the next table...plus it was a buffet so we had to get up!
Never seen so much chair pulling-in and straddling chairs to get to the buffet!
Needless to say they ran out of food and many guests just had a few salad leaves on their plate.