Am I being overcautious?

[Agingdisgracefully]

Usual Xmas would be
me spending a few days before with my parents 2.5 hours away( they spend Xmas day with my sister and will this year too)

A visit to grandson week before, my son split with the mother and she spends it with her family

My daughter son in law and granddaughter coming to me Boxing Day,usually staying over

DP s parents either at their home with his sister and husband visiting for a few days, or spending day with us. They are 89 and 85

This year my parents are not happy with anyone travelling to see them which I can understand

My daughter won't be visiting as she feels it would put us at risk as she is unable to isolate before coming

I am going to briefly visit both grandkids to take presents and feel it best my in laws stay at their own home to ensure their safety and we would deliver lunch.

Mil today says she can come to us as it's ok during the five days

AiBu for saying no

not at all - did you invite her or did she assume she was invited?
Perfect year to decide what you want to do, and hibernate

Well if you see both sets of grandchildren, that’s your 3 household bubble and you shouldn’t see anyone else anyway... neither should they.

So... no, that’s not overcautious.

Seems a bit of a shame for the grandchildren though that they get only a quick visit and then can’t see anyone else because of that tbh.

Are you fit enough to meet the GC outside in a park or garden so you are properly SD from them.
That then enables you to bubble with the ILs assuming they aren't meeting others. If you'd want to do that.

I will be meeting the grandkids outside. In laws have invited themselves. She hardly been out since March so understand but I think it's just too risky for them. She's in very poor health so even a cold would have a massive impact. We don't want to be the ones that killed her off. Also I don't want anyone in my house Anyway. Going to be a lot of guilt tripping coming from the sister in law I can see.