To put off conceiving another year...

[hellymissy]

I Had a miscarriage age 32, I'm now 34 and have had a huge opportunity career wise come about.

This is a One in a million opportunity I can't say what it is as it would be outing but it's seriously a big deal and if I could say what it is I think most people would agree.

It means if have to put off trying for 6-12 months which means I'd be conceiving age 35.

Am I mad to prioritise career for another year over conceiving?

What would you regret more?

Also, can you really not do both? If it takes a year anyway...

OP please say what the job is! Unless it's Joe Biden's new VP, it's all anonymous here

I suspect the Op is an actress and has been offered a role in Eastenders or something....

She's playing Meghan Markle in the new series of The Crown!

I claim my tuppence.

😂 you guys have made me chuckle. As annoying as I'm being I honestly cannot say right now!! 12 months from now I'll update the thread and tell all!!!

@Lelophants yes I could do both but I'm concerned I do now know how pregnancy will affect me, I wouldn't want to take the chance

I would go for the job op. As you say it's a one in a million opportunity. You have other family options down the line ( adoption, ivf etc) if necessary

I am 35 and around 11 weeks pregnant. Took about 10 months to conceive this lo. Longer than my other dc.

@fatkitchen I wouldn't consider adoption for a variety of reasons but yes ivf is a possibility

We're not in the 1950s! Do both!

Take the job! I prioritised my career and financial stability, so didn't ttc until I was 36. Got pregnant second month, despite being overweight which makes it harder. Dd is now 6.

I'm now 43 and pregnant with number 2. Took me 8 months (with one chemical pregnancy in that time). It was a risk waiting that long to ttc number 2, but again it was about financial stability.

Thank you all so much!! The job is a tv role for those that speculated you were correct!! My DH said I'm being overly secretive and silly so there you go ☺️

It is not Meghan Markle on the crown though!!!!

If you only need to delay ttc for a year at the most, I would definitely go for it.

Yay I guessed right, I thought so. Sounds like a fantastic opportunity - I would go for it if I was you! Also try not to worry there are that many actors/presenters on the tv .. we would never guess who you are!

Are you the lady off the one show?

@Ilovesugar

I think it depends. Picture yourself at 70, what would you regret more:

• taking the job, putting off conceiving and potentially it not happening (what if you struggle etc)
• or not taking the job and never getting a similar opportunity and falling pregnant

Granted you might take the job and easily fall pregnant no problems but I find making life decisions based off what I will regret more helps

I think OP has already made the right choice, but I just wanted to point out that there's also option C to consider:

• not taking the job and then not getting pregnant in the next year anyway

It took me two years to conceive DS and the one big regret I have is that I didn't do something career-wise because the offer came soon after we started TTC so I thought I'd be pregnant so wouldn't be able to - as it worked out by the time the project was done and dusted, without my involvement, I still had no baby. It's a shit feeling to not have either, and for that reason I'd never advise anyone to not do something because they might get pregnant.

I had my two children at 34 and 36. I conceived in the first month when I was 33, and it took two months when I was 35, so only marginally more of an effort.

I was in a similar position as you. I did both! I took the job and started our ttc journey.... well 6 months in, I'm not pregnant yet.

What I'm trying to say is you don't know how long it will take you to get pregnant so I'd take the job and ttc too.

Good luck

@wetasstenalady it's not the one show it's actually for a new show.

See I don't want to ttc because it's a short term role for four months and I don't know when it's going to be I just know it's next year.

Also, I know I could ttc but my issue is pregnancy can throw you and do this role I would want to be 100% on point. I know I could ttc but if it did happen I don't want to be working long days getting tired and feeling sick the role is too important to not be able to focus fully I don't want any distractions.

Or maybe pregnancy isn't as bad as I'm assuming it's going to be?!

Pregnancy is really unpredictable - some women are totally unaffected in the first trimester, some can't get out of bed. You don't know which you'll be, and it's a limited timescale that you'd be putting TTC on hold for, so I think you're sensible to be cautious.

Miseryl what an utterly pointless post, the OP can’t go back in time to have children at 25.....she’s talking about TTC at either 34 or at 35.

Also if you’re so exhausted in your 30s you’re lucky you’re not a shift worker! Almost everyone I know does 50% nights into their 40s, 50s and 60s. None of us would have careers if we were so unhealthy at 35.

Seeing your updates op, start the show and start preparing your body e.g. folic acid and come off hormonal contraception if on any. Towards the end of it start trying. It could be years it could be one time. Pregnancy takes a while and most people don't feel hideous every day, but yes there's a risk.

Congratulations on the TV role. pregnancies are unpredictable so I personally wouldn't want to be pregnant while doing your job. Id wait too.
Good luck.

@MrDarcyismines thank you