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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask why people think you should have two cats together...

93 replies

Emma8899 · 07/12/2020 19:58

...but no one says the same about dogs, when dogs are pack animals and crave company, and cats are independent and fairly solitary?

Other than ‘a sibling to play with’, is it actually any better for a cat to live with another cat?

I’ve always either had one cat, or two adult cats who have totally ignored each other. They are not like dogs. Dogs crave social interaction so I can totally see that having two dogs is kind and more how they would live in the wild.

We currently have one cat and I have never once felt that she would have been better off if we had adopted a sibling or another kitten as well. She is really bonded to us, she entertains herself in the house and the garden and occasionally chases off neighbouring cats

However, when we got her I felt quite judged that we weren’t getting two - MIL even suggested it was cruel only getting one cat.

Whereas I know so many people who have had puppies and no one ever says ‘are you getting two? It’s kinder!’

Is it just the expense? That cats are generally cheaper and not as high maintenance? If so, it’s not really about the cat’s welfare is it?

I totally get that two kittens from the same litter will sleep together as that’s what they’re used to - but it doesn’t mean it’s cruel to have a solitary cat?

Just me??

OP posts:

Thread gallery

vanillandhoney · 07/12/2020 20:21

@malificent7

I got two sisters as kittens...one of them bullied the other out. We now have 1 cat after rehoming the terrorised suster. Yanbu.

I think that's a pretty rare situation tbh. Pretty much all literature recommends getting two kittens.

Willitjuststop · 07/12/2020 20:24

I have four cats.

Oldest pair are sisters and although played and slept together when kittens they now despise each other 😏
My second set are related although not siblings, but a similar age. They cuddled and played when young but now at two years don't bother. They just live side by side with the odd squabble but no affection toward each other.

One of the older pair despises all other cats now whilst the other tolerates the younger pair and occasionally plays with them (if I leave an amazon box about for them to play with 😂)

I did once raise a kitten from around 4 weeks and he was the most amazing and loving cat toward me as his carer and toward the older of my two cats (didn't have the second set then) and they actually didn't mind him in the end. I think his perseverance wore them down 😂
Just a shame he passed within a year 😔

I think they say get two merely for the company side of things especially if you're out at work and they're alone. Past kitten age it really is hit and miss as to whether cats will continue to get on.

swampytiggaa · 07/12/2020 20:24

@Clonmel 🙂

To ask why people think you should have two cats together...

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 07/12/2020 20:24

@swampytiggaa - they are gorgeous, sooo beautiful.

This is the spoiled Prima Donna who does not want a feline companion.

ThatIsNotMyUsername · 07/12/2020 20:25

Double cuteness? Of course cats can be absolute jerks and loathe each other and cause a lot of aggro. They can hate doll dogs too. We used to had a herd of cats and at one point just one dog. One cat in particular loathed our large, soppy mutt and used the climb up onto furniture at his nose height and claw him like crazy. Poor daft dog (he never thought to not sit next to nose height furniture.

GoldfishParade · 07/12/2020 20:28

Also getting two cats advice is aimed at people who keep their cats indoors as christ knows how else they are meant to keep themselves entertained.

When cats go out they dont need company, they go live their lives then come in for food sleep and cuddles, and that's basically all they need

AlwaysLatte · 07/12/2020 20:29

We have a dog at the moment but if we get a cat in the future it will be one cat. In the past I've had two cats and one started marking his territory. They never played together. My brother has two, they just exist side by side but don't play together or snuggle up or anything. The only interaction is one will go and smack the other with its paw when she makes annoying noises at birds outside. And they're sisters!

swampytiggaa · 07/12/2020 20:29

@Clonmel

swampytiggaa · 07/12/2020 20:30

Sorry it keeps saying my photos haven’t posted! Don’t mean to post them twice 😂😂

ILovemyCatsSoSoMuch · 07/12/2020 20:31

My two cats (brothers from the same litter) are my sons in feline form - despite liking the same activities they mostly fight, never show any affection towards each other. But occasionally they play together, or pair up against a neighbour, and then you think “awww that’s why I had two”.

yeOldeTrout · 07/12/2020 20:31

wtaf, people read 'literature' before getting cats? And I thought MN took dog-ownership too seriously.

Problem with double dogs is many people can't safely walk 2 large dogs at same time. There's a local guy who spends ~ 2 hours/day walking his 2 German Shepherds; the dogs look calm & docile to me but he doesn't feel he can walk them together. And even 2 small dogs can be a challenge to walk together when they want to go in opposite directions at poo-picking time. 2-5 cats is hardly any more daily maintenance & care than 1 cat, though.

LaceyBetty · 07/12/2020 20:33

@GoldfishParade

Also getting two cats advice is aimed at people who keep their cats indoors as christ knows how else they are meant to keep themselves entertained.

When cats go out they dont need company, they go live their lives then come in for food sleep and cuddles, and that's basically all they need

My indoor cat is perfectly entertained and safe.

christmasathomeagain · 07/12/2020 20:34

We recently got a kitten as a play mate for our 3 yr old. Whenever he went out his first visit was the neighbours cats.

It took 2 weeks to becomes friends but they love each other now. Our older boy spends much more time at home now than he dis before (kitten still has to stay in but older cat goes out).

GoldfishParade · 07/12/2020 20:34

@LaceyBetty
But of course!

Honeyroar · 07/12/2020 20:37

I have two. They’re siblings, rescued at a year old. I took them both because nobody wanted the girl cat as she isn’t as pretty or friendly as her brother. In summer they barely spend a moment together, but in winter they snuggle up - I think they’re cold! But all our previous solo cats have been just as happy on their own.

But dogs, yes they really need company and I’d never have a solo dog. I always have two or three and they play together a lot.

ShivD · 07/12/2020 20:38

We got two kittens from the same litter when we got our (rescue ) cats and while they mainly ignore one another, on the occasions when one has gone walk about for 24 hours the other one seems really sad and lost without them.

They also ‘kiss’ sometimes which is super cute.

Dumbie · 07/12/2020 20:41

@emma8899 rescues can easily rehome single kittens, pairs are more tricky.
I used to admin for a rescue and the amount of enquiries we had for single kittens even when we stated 'must go as pairs' or 'must have another young cat to play with'

Kittens rehome aloned won't have the opportunity to play and practice play fighting or what is socially acceptable. They are tiny little destructors and they eat weird stuff like elastic and cables. Single kittens are more likely to have issues or be returned to rescue as they become destructive.

Some cats do bond. My mummy and baby cat fret if they can't find the other.

titchy · 07/12/2020 20:45

In ‘the wild’ I don’t think litter siblings would live together forever, would they?

Have you never seen huge gangs of relatively tame strays in Greece or similar - they certainly do live together!

WildRosie · 07/12/2020 20:47

I like the middle picture best, swampytigga. If cats could be in a band, they would be it! We've already had a Cats UK, mind.

Original poster

Emma8899 · 07/12/2020 20:49

@GoldfishParade

Also getting two cats advice is aimed at people who keep their cats indoors as christ knows how else they are meant to keep themselves entertained.

When cats go out they dont need company, they go live their lives then come in for food sleep and cuddles, and that's basically all they need

Maybe this is it - we’ve always had cats that have gone outside, free use of cat flap etc so they very much come inside for fuss, food and sleep and burn off their energy outside.

I can see how having a litter mate to play (fight) with indoors may make an difference to be fair.

OP posts:

thecatsthecats · 07/12/2020 20:54

If you go to hot foreign countries with lots of strays you see communes of cats. Lots living in close quarters and bonded. Not quite like a pack but they're not as solitary as people presume.

Our cats died this year: one from health issues, and his brother three weeks later from a broken heart. He was miserable without him.

Zzz1234 · 07/12/2020 21:00

Cat one age 11
Cat two age three
Get along great, had cat two since he was a kitten, they don't cuddle as much at the moment I think it's because cat two is a teenager, but when cat two was younger they cuddled loads.

DSsnmum · 07/12/2020 21:04

It really depends on the cats. I have 3 which we adopted separately. First cat we got is very timid and shy, stays home a lot, not a typical cat. When we got our second cat they got on really well. They sit cuddled up together on the sofa and sleep together a lot. They were both older males when we got them if that makes a difference. Our third cat fits in ok, she gets on with the first cat as he is a really sociable cat and as I said not a typical cat. The third and second cat tolerate each other and stay out of each others way really but they don’t bother with each other. I probably wouldn’t recommend to anyone else having 3 cats, it’s a bit much for us and they only really get on because the first one is so easy going and does actually like cat company.

IHeartNiles · 07/12/2020 21:06

Generally I agree with you. I have male littermates, they’re 7 years old. They are pretty bonded, they sleep together, wash each other and hang out together. Often they come in together from outside. They have the odd scrap but nothing too bad and within minutes are cuddling. They also have friendships with other cats, I’ve seen them with a few friends hanging out relaxed together, slow blinks, the lot. I think having a sibling has made them aware of polite behaviours and helped their social skills. With more than one car in the house there is definitely more marking behaviours. Luckily they don’t spray but there are brown face chop marks on every corner.

DinoGloria · 07/12/2020 21:08

Helpful thread as I've been worrying about how a puppy might cope on the two days I'm at work. Had briefly considered two! Hadn't heard of littermate syndrome; we only kept one puppy from our litters.

I might be able to pop home at lunch time and persuade the in-laws to pop in for a couple of months. I've just come across a perfect pup. But was looking to rehome an ex greyhound.

Growing up we always had two dogs (or more); many get a younger dog as a friend for the older one and so on. So I don't remember it being an issue.

night times I also worry about as the toddler isn't a great sleeper anyway!

Crate in bedroom? I'd prefer a dog downstairs in reality....

Our cats all loved each other. But we were in the countyside so I don't know if that gave them more freedom territory wise. They were all v laid back cuddly / bird killers though so perhaps the shared personalities and hobbies helped!

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