Can I please ask for advice - bipolar disorder.

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Hoping for AIBU traffic.

We have an adult relative who suffers from bipolar disorder and is currently going through a bad patch. They are usually ok but every couple of years or so go into "psychosis" (I believe?) which has them behaving erratically, being very up and down, sometimes really unpleasant and hostile and generally unwell for anything from weeks to months.
They live with their parents who are in their 60s and 70s and are not coping very well this time around, they have always been adamant about looking after their DC on their own and turned away any help and have been trying very hard to make sure the person does not end up institutionalised (apologies if this isn't the correct word) but it is taking a huge toll on them more and more every time.

Currently the aforementioned relative/DC keeps them up most of the night and one of them especially needs their rest due to their health condition, we are unfortunately unable to help much as we have our own very little DCs a house that's too small to accommodate anyone. DP has been trying to help and offer a bit of respite here and there but it's not a longterm solution as he is now back at work FT.

We are not very well versed in this and would really welcome any advice on any potential help or support they might be able to access in the current situation.
Could anyone perhaps point us in the direction of any links/resources to look into?

If it helps we are in the Yorkshire area.

I think it’d be the council, for housing support. Is the person medicated? Do they have a support team? They’d be able to advise of any local residential options - I know someone with bipolar who has an assisted living flat, for example.

They are medicated yes. As far as I am aware they also receive some type of benefit due to the bipolar disorder as they are incapable of keeping a full time job and have just about managed very small part time positions with very specific working hours before but have lost jobs and quit jobs in the past when they became unwell.
They have been unemployed for nearly 2 years.

From what I remember they also have some sort of assessments or at least have had one within the last few years to make sure they are OK to drive (nothing to do with their age) - I'm a bit hazy on the details of those however.

It might be helpful to know some terms. Someone with bi-polar is probably experiencing a manic episode rather than an episode of psychosis (obviously it would be possible to be psychotic as well, but is less likely). And unwell people are not "institutionalised", they might be admitted to hospital, and they might be detained under the Mental Health Act if very unwell and unsafe.

I suppose my question is, do the parents actually want to stop supporting their dc? If so, then I would encourage them to have an open conversation at a time when your relative is not unwell so they can make some plans about how and where they want to stay. If they have previously been detained under a section 3 they may be entitled to aftercare funding. I imagine if they are chronically unwell they will have a care coordinator who would be able to support them.

As an alternative, if their parents don't want to stop supporting them, it might be a case of exploring with their care team whether there are extra measures to improve their mental health to a point where it is manageable. That could include different medication or spoken therapy. Obviously bearing in mind that it is he unwell person who gets to choose what treatment to have.

The problem with community support is that it isn’t intensive enough at the best of times. Resources are stretched. Parents will have to say officially their adult child is no longer housed with them for them to become eligible and if they have significant symptoms they may require supported accommodation of some kind. It’s very much dependent on all these variables so hard to advise. They should have a care coordinator within an adult mental health team that can provide support.

Thank you for the advice and thanks @Stompythedinosaur for the clarifications. I'm not the best at the terminology and haven't been involved much up until recently as it's something the family like to keep close to their chest.

The parents don't want to stop supporting the person as such. It's just that they are finding it very difficult dealing with the manic episodes especially as when they happen they are 24/7 and can last from 6weeks to 3 even 4 months and the parents are not getting any younger and finding it increasingly hard to manage and be ok themselves. I think in an ideal scenario they would perhaps have someone come in a once or twice a week and provide some respite but realistically they cannot afford to pay for it privately.

It's worth noting that the manic episodes happen every 2-3 years so not extremely frequent.

Hi... I'm back and hoping someone might have a bit of insight for me.

Since my post the person in question has been violent towards their parents, trying to throw punches/fight. They were restrained by their father and removed from the room/situation.

They are now reluctant to ask for help because they think the current behaviour might have grounds for being detained and they don't want their child "pumped full of drugs and mistreated".
I honestly don't know if their worries are in any way realistic or not.

We are very concerned about the situation. The parents are house bound as if one leaves to go shopping/work the other cannot manage on their own.
The parents are exhausted and not in the right state of mind and we are worried about them, they have expressed their tiredness and struggle but we are unsure whether we should push them to seek help.

Does anyone know what potential steps would be undertaken in the current circumstances?
I'm not sure if the person in question has a care team as such but I think they do have something in place.

Hi OP this is my first time posting on Mumsnet. I joined specifically to answer your last post. I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2012 as an adult and was involuntarily admitted into the mental health ward in hospital for 2 months. I was put on a medication regime to stabilise my mania. If your relative is manic it means that his/her meds aren’t working anymore or they are no longer taking their prescribed doses. This can be very dangerous if they become psychotic. If they have become physical obviously you need to call their mental health team and the police immediately.
The police will need to remove them from the house and take them to hospital to be assessed for an involuntary (or voluntary) admission to stabilise them. There are medications that can be given by injection once a month on a mental health plan that will be made compulsory for the patient to ensure they don’t stop taking their meds and become violent again. I wonder why if this person is on disability payments why they haven’t been given a house/flat to live in by the UK government? Why are they living with their elderly parents? Are they on a waiting list to get their own housing? All this will be discussed with the hospital psychiatrist once they are admitted. Hope that helps. Being in a bipolar manic state is dangerous both to the patient and to others around them. One of my friends whilst manic thought she could fly and climbed onto the roof of her house in front of her 5 children and the fire brigade had to come and save her before she jumped. She was then involuntarily admitted into hospital. You need to contact the police immediately.

I lived for many years with someone who had bipolar disorder. They had severe manic episodes, as a result of stopping taking meds, which never ended before a hospital admission; they always had to be sectioned. It was awful, as were the utterly miserable months of depression afterwards. Eventually they got support from a really good community mental health team and in the last few years of their life were able to manage their illness.

Living with someone who is as badly affected by the disorder is exhausting and frightening; I was young and fit and it nearly broke me. You absolutely should push the parents to seek help. The first time the person I lived with had a manic episode, all their friends were set on keeping them out of hospital, which in the end proved utterly pointless and just prolonged the misery.

It's a horrible illness, I'm very sorry for all concerned.

Hi Op
Mind Charity (well mental health charity uk)website on internet have more infor for you to know about.

Mind Charity often have "centres" for adults with mental/emotional health struggles in a holistic way such as having cooking healthy on budget/how good food improve your moods.
Mental health advocacy..
A getogether in which people have Sunday dinner all trimmings/day tril s , gardening club arts/crafts, book club ,courses on helping to understand/improve your mental condition..etc

Bipolar U.K. are the charity that specialises in helping people who are bipolar or who support people who are bipolar as well as promoting better understanding. www.bipolaruk.org/

They have been immensely helpful to a bipolar friend, and to their supporters. The last 9 months of uncertainty and change have been especially difficult and it has tipped that friend into cycles of depression and mania after years of stability. One word of advice I would give is that those who support someone whether they are manic or depressed do need to make sure they look after themselves first. In the end you can help but you can’t fix them. It is their brain chemistry causing their behaviour and they need the right help to achieve stability whether it is lifestyle or, as it sounds in this case, the right medication. Very easy to get sucked into feeling hurt and frustrated with someone who appears to be being hurtful or aggressive when it is their illness causing the behaviour.

Mental health resources are very stretched and HCPs will gladly assume that someone is being cared for by relatives / friends. Any aggressive behaviour like this should be bought to their attention so that they can arrange the right help. The person I know has had stints in hospital in the past and it has certainly not been a case of pumping them full of drugs, more providing a safe place where they can assess them and try to identify the therapy that will get them stable again.

I have a relative with bi polar. She does have psychotic periods when she is manic. She absolutely does need inpatient treatment in these times. And it can shorten the period she is manic for as they can give appropiate treatment.

Hospitals aren't brilliantly funded but they have changed so much from how they used to be. They will be able to get proper care there. You can still visit them, go for walks on the grounds if appropoate etc. They should also be able to put more care in place for wheb they come out.

It can be so dangerous for the person concerned when they are psychotic. They really need the help ( you wouldn't not take someone with a heart attack to hospital would you?)

Please do ring the cmht if under them. Or crisis team and get some help with this . It doesnt sound safe for anyone. Does she have a community mental health nurse or anyone you can contact?

Thank you to everyone who replied. @OhDiana about the living situation and why they don't have housing - as I mentioned I'm not directly involved in things but from what I've gathered I think the parents wanted the person at home initially as they didn't want their child away from them where they can't help, also the person was engaged in the past and moved out for a few years and then came back after the breakup and then had a few relationships in between so I guess they never really addressed it. Also the mother heard some stories (I'm assuming a long time ago and I'm not sure if even grounded) and their approach is that they don't want them locked away and "pumped full of drugs" and "abused" - as they believe abuse happens in places like that as the MH patients are vulnerable.

The person is still at home and hasn't been violent since. Just unpleasant / stand offish and generally keeping them on their toes and up in the night. It's so difficult as I am not a direct blood relation and I don't want to overstep or upset anyone but I see how it's affecting my DP and them and I was hoping to gain some insight and advice as the parents seem very reluctant to seek outside help.

To those asking - the person went downhill after a recent relationship ended (obviously probably not helped by the global pandemic). They also go on social media a lot and get down about the fact most of their school friends have families/DCs/homes and they don't so I would assume that doesn't help either.