To think is is micromanaging?

[FedUpAtWork]

I have a colleague with the same job as me, at the same level. She has been here for 15+ years and I have been here for 18 months. She insists on checking all work I do before it's submitted, if I submit the work before she's checked it she will look online and find out I have and then gets shitty with me about it. Despite the fact we both have our own areas, she leaves me job lists with bullet points of things to do everyday. She finds little things to nit pick me about. She's very patronising in her emails and is always finding fault with me. I have typed an email to my boss to say I've put up with it for a long time but I need to be left alone to do my job and not be micromanaged by someone in the same position as me but I'm hesitant about whether it'll look like I just don't like being checked up on. I don't, for the record, I feel like I'm being undermined and made out to be incompetent of my own job but I'm not sure whether I'm reacting as it puts my back up or because I have a valid reason to

She can’t micromanage you if she doesn’t manage you, she’s just being an utter twat. You were right to bring it up to your boss, if she had no seniority over you and you work on separate things / areas then she had no reason to check your work. She’s your colleague not your boss and she needs to stay in her lane!

We are the exact same job, at the same level. She's a lot older and been here a lot longer and I appreciate that I just struggle to see the point in me being here when all work I do is double checked even 18 months later. I know she technically can't be micromanaging me as she isn't my manager, but I feel like she is. Perhaps it isn't the right word. I'll reword my email slightly. Thanks for replying

Whenever she wants to check your work, or tells you to do something, or whatever, just say you'll do it if your manager asks you, but she's only on your level and is not your manager. And that's the end of it. Just don't take her on when she tries to boss you around.

Do you have regular meetings/catch ups with your manager? It might be better speaking to her rather than sending the email? Sometimes text can come across differently to how you mean it.

You could ask if your colleague is supposed to be checking your work, or say something like "now I've been here 18 months I think I've got the hang of things and so Colleague doesn't need to check my work any more". A conversation might be better than a list of complaints?

It definitely doesn't seem like a situation you can wean yourself off of, I think you need a clean cut.

Could you send an email/message thanking her for her support and saying it was well appreciated but it's no longer required, but worded in a way that sounds like you're saving her time.

It sounds like you need to set some hard boundaries. Right now, if you raised it with your superior, they will probably ask what you've done to alleviate the situation - this will show that you've tried :)

I think it depends how shes doing all this - is she telling you or is it more like advice? it could be that she thinks she is helping you by checking on you and giving you a list. It may be that because of her experience she likes looking after someone with less experience, I'd maybe raise it with you manager that you feel like you could be left to work more independently and don't need as much assistance as your colleague likes to give

You've been there for 18 months and you are still putting up with this?

Call a meeting/Zoom call/telephone call with your manager and say that this is going on, and has she asked colleague to do this? If not, can she talk to colleague's manager to get her to stop? Obviously you'll ask her for help if you need it given her 15 years experience blah blah but now you feel confident you can do the job for which you are being paid.

She is wasting her working time by unnecessarily checking up on you. Does your manager even know she is doing it?

In my workplace, it’s common to “manage” people informally regardless of level. Sometimes my actual, official boss is under me on a project. It’s also very common for a more experienced person at the same level to supervise a less experienced person. So I would start by checking if that is your company culture.

Even if she is supposed to be supervising you to an extent, it still sounds like she is doing it poorly. So it is worth addressing regardless.

Have a conversation with your manager about it, and maybe HR too if it's really affecting you. If you're going to send an email make sure it is not emotional and you have evidence at hand. Once it's in an email your manager and HR are obligated to take action over it, so you might want to try and tackle it informally first if you want to try your best to maintain your relationship with your colleague. Its a really difficult situation. Stuff like this always involves a bit of tactics.

Talk to your manager about how it’s making you feel. Your manager can then manage her to stop her doing it.

I'm sure it's very frustrating and you are right to raise it with your boss, if you can't resolve it between you, but don't do it by email.

Was she meant to act as a mentor towards you when you started? Even if so, after 18 months that should have stopped, but I have found that there is a certain type - very often people who have been in the same role for a very long time, perhaps feeling passed over for promotion etc - who appoint themselves as unofficial supervisors way beyond reasonable time frames.

I actually wouldn’t send an email at all as it can be printed and every point can be gone through word for word which may not be what you want. I would request a meeting with your manager and voice your concerns. Don’t put them in writing unless your making a formal complaint.

How did it start? Was she supposed to support you when you first started? Then I would tell her that she can stop now, you are fine and she can concentrate on her own work.

If she doesn't stop, talk to your actual manager.