To feel traumatised by this (trigger warning: mentions of suicide attempt)

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Trigger warning: mentions of a suicide attempt

My sister attempted suicide two weeks ago. She is now getting the help she needs and our family has rallied round her and are helping her through it.

I can't speak about this in real life as it feels selfish and self-indulgent as obviously my sister is our priority at the moment, but I feel really shaken up by it. I am trying to do my work for university and I just can't sit down and do it which is unlike me. I am also trying to apply to graduate schemes and the idea of getting rejected from them is making me tearful. To be honest, I am really tearful over everything even silly little things like my hairdryer breaking. I am putting a brave face on to my family but inside I am really struggling. My anxiety has gotten a lot worse and I keep having panic attacks when up until now it had been around a year since I last had a panic attack. I have been sleeping 12 hours every night since it happened and still feel exhausted.

Again, I acknowledge this is selfish and self-indulgent. I don't want to make this situation all about me which is why I am choosing to consult an online forum for help rather than my family and friends who are understandably and rightly focussed on my sister at the moment.

Has anyone gone through anything similar? If so, what helped?

You've had a shock, it does strange things to you a shock does and it can be hard to cope for a bit afterwards.

Sounds like you need a huge hug and an offload session.

Call the Samaritans just for a chat and see if university counselling can help. Also,akensure your university is aware - it's a huge shock for you, so be kind to yourself and take it easy.

*make sure you university

Your university*

Thank you for your replies. I just feel like my response is OTT as none of my other family members seem to be affected but then I don't know how they feel deep down as we are all focussed on my sister at the moment.

Of course it’s not OTT, you could have lost your sister. That’s a lot of emotion to deal with, on top of the extra emotion that goes into helping her to get better. I’m so glad you were able to get her help. It’s amazing that you’re being so supportive. You are absolutely ok to need support yourself. Do you have a partner or a friend you could talk to? It is never self-indulgent to take care of your own mental health.

Oh love. I am going through the same thing as you now, even down to the timeline of when things happened with my sibling and a job interview tomorrow, and I'm also getting treatment for anxiety. So I hear you! Your feelings are completely valid, please don't think of yourself as selfish for having these feelings. I'll bet that you're also worried about your sister, and that is feeding your anxieties too. Ask yourself if your family actually are the people who can give you the help you need, or would you be better seeing someone about your own anxiety that knows how to give you the tools to cope better? CBT and hypnotherapy is really helping me with anxiety and it also brings some resilience because it's not just my friends and family who are my support so if something happens, whatever it might be that means they can't be there as much as you might like you're covered elsewhere. And it frees you of this guilt of asking for help, that's not going to be helping you either and your needs are real and valid and you deserve support

It is ok to feel like you are, honestly! Firstly, I am glad your sister is alive, and is getting the help she needs. Secondly, as someone left behind (my dad killed himself), I can say that there is very minimal support for family. I know focus is on the person attempting/succeeding suicide - but I do wish more support and consideration was given to people like you, who are trying to come to terms with it. You will have a lot of questions and feelings about it, all normal. Don't discredit yourself, people deal with it differently. It is ok to be shaken up by it

It really isn't selfish to want to talk about it. It's normal and a really good idea. Not to your sister, obviously. And your parents are probably also reeling a bit (and, probably, putting a brave face on it or, at least, not voicing the way it's traumatised them). So using them as support may be a bit more than they can cope with (it may not be and I'm not suggesting you hide your need for support from them but they probably have a lot on their plate right now) so looking externally for support is probably for the best.

There's your GP or the Samaritans and if you are at uni they should have some mental health support and this sort of thing is what they're there for. You may also have access to counseling through insurance or membership of a union if you're in one.