To hate my parents dog.

[HappyChristmas29]

Not sure what the point of this post is really. I’m a dog lover and owner. I love them and would own a house load of dogs if my husband let me.

But there’s one dog I can’t stick and it’s my parents dog. They’ve had her since a small pup but she’s awful. Personally I think she had a bad start and she may of come from some kind of puppy farm. Not the dogs fault or course. She’s not a puppy anymore. They don’t even know the breed. She’s been a nightmare since they got her.

They own another dog who is lovely but said dog is awful.

She doesn’t like visitors, she barks and growls and gets jealous if anyone goes near my mum and dad (like my kids cuddling them pre covid), she has gone to bite me a few times, she’s bit people (family members) before - didn’t cause a serious injury but did draw blood, she jumps up and knocks dc over. They are used to dogs. Both my children love them - particularly my youngest as she’s been brought up around them but even she is scared of this one. My mother just laughs it off and doesn’t shut her away.

Lockdown has been a relief not seeing it. I don’t want to visit at Christmas as I don’t like the bleddy dog. They could come here but it’s a bit much as my families quite big - my brothers and sisters all still live at home. The dog seems okay with them just not outsiders.

Like I say, not sure what the point of this post is but aibu to expect them to lock the dog in another room or something?

I love dogs generally, I have 3 and my work brings me into contact with them often. However, there are some dogs even I don't get on with. you can't like every person you meet and you'll never like every single dog you meet. Don't feel bad.

A relative had a very large breed dog that had a habit of lurching and jumping at me (and others) really suddenly. She never bit anyone but her owner thought the jumping was funny and didn't discourage her enough. I only really bonded with that dog once she was ancient and arthritic and couldn't be an arse any more.

One of my own beloved dogs can be a complete arse with men she doesn't know, especially if they are tall, although 6'2" DH is her favourite person in the world, ever. I know that I need to take extra care managing her around strange men.

Whether the dogs really improved hugely in a matter of a few sessions/days or that was a complete lie, I dunno. Someone must know which programme I mean, the results seemed so obvious how to get if you knew what to do. Middle aged quiet spoken English guy was the whisperer.

That's Graham Hall. His programme is Dogs Behaving (Very) Badly on Channel 5. A lot of his techniques are actually seen as being pretty controversial - not in the same league as Cesar Milan by any means, but even so - he's not an entirely positive based trainer and a lot of his techniques are quite old fashioned.

Even if some of them do work (the treats for recall one, as an example) it's still not something a dog learns in fifteen minutes and that's it. It's an ongoing process that needs to be repeated hundreds of times.

But they're not going to show that on TV because it doesn't make interesting viewing.

Yep, I'd actually say in some respects Graeme Hall is worse, as the dangerous stuff he does is far harder to identify if you aren't a qualified, experienced dog trainer, as threads like these show.

I and other trainers have picked up his former clients... we know what really goes on unfortunately :(

@WiddlinDiddlin

Yep, I'd actually say in some respects Graeme Hall is worse, as the dangerous stuff he does is far harder to identify if you aren't a qualified, experienced dog trainer, as threads like these show.

I and other trainers have picked up his former clients... we know what really goes on unfortunately :(

I'd be inclined to agree with you.

It's easy to disagree with Caesar because he blatantly uses devices like shock collars or prongs, but Graeme (I knew I'd spelt it wrong!) uses techniques that seem to make logical sense to people, even though they can be really harmful in the long run.

It's interesting that you've had to pick up the pieces. I'm a dog walker and have seen people try and use his "training" techniques at home. Needless to say, they don't work!

I almost could have written this post, I have exactly the same issue. Since my DD was born 4 years ago we’ve never been to visit them. She’s bitten people on more than one occasion and my mother has even said to me, “DDog really misbehaves when you’re around!” Yet can’t understand why I don’t want my children near her 🤨 To make matters worse I’m a dog training professional! Ive told my parents I don’t trust the dog and even gave them a crate so we could visit but it hasn’t been used. It makes me extremely sad that they put their DDog above their granddaughters, but they have at least visited us instead a couple of times. My DD is more than used to dogs as we have 7!

In terms of training books/methods for family pets, what would be a good one? I will be getting a new dog probably in the next year or so and I haven't a clue where to start. We have a sheepdog, but he doesn't live in the house and training him is obviously nothing like training a pet. He is elderly and won't be replaced because I'm hoping to get rid of the sheep.

There seems to be so many different ways that all claim to be the best, but if some are dangerous in ways that aren't always obvious, how do you tell the difference?

I could of written this

I hate my in laws dog. It’s not well trained. It takes food off plates. Out of my children’s hands. Out of their mouths. He jumps up and grabs it. Clean off. He’s bitten people. He’s a horrid dog

We’ve fostered dogs for years. I’ve had all types of breeds of dogs. From Great Danes. To pit bulls. To wolf breeds. To hienz 57!!

Yet this little dog. Is a menace. He’s made my kids frightened of dogs. To the point they don’t really want to see my in laws. Because of the dog. They fear all dogs now. My eldest cringes. She screams. It horrid. Seeing how much we love dogs. My mother has a dog. Who is a big big dog. Yet he’s not a problem at all. Because of our extensive fostering history. We are well known and 100% full at all times. We know dogs. We train dogs. We know what we’re doing

I’ve said he was a problem and I was told he was a family member. Yet he’s a little shit.

Rock and a hard place. My eldest just refuses now.

Sorry, forgot to also write about the OP's problem! My parents have two nasty, yappy dogs who frequently bite. They won't do anything to protect my children, because "the dogs live here". This is just one of the reasons they won't get to see their grandchildren.
You can't change the way your parents behave, but you can stop yourself from being featured in an article about another child being mauled. It does often seem to be the case that the dangerous dog belongs to a grandparent too.

@MrsLebowski I don’t think she’s nervous of children as such. Only because the dog is still a nightmare if I was just to visit alone and has bitten other adults with no children around. Plus my children have been brought up around dogs their whole lives (my mums older dog, our dog, my in laws dogs and DS’s dads family all have dogs).

Thanks all for your wisdom 🌸 I will avoid their house. As mentioned above they have an older dog who is lovely but he’s been a big softie since he was tiny but despite being a softie probably not well trained. This one is just a menace. I do think it’s a mix of a bad start in life and bad training! 😭

@Happyheartlovelife hard isn’t it. Similar issues. I forgot to mention the food on my OP. If my children have eaten their the dog is after it straight away. I think that’s because they’ve always allowed the dog to eat everything in sight. The dogs rather tubby too but that’s not my issue.

[quote HappyChristmas29]@AriesTheRam nope, they don’t actually know what breed. Think it could be a mix of a few.

My mum isn’t the easiest to talk to. She’s always got the attitude that it’s the dogs house so if you don’t like it, don’t come. An excitable dog is one thing but a vicious one is another!

Their other dog is lovely. I just don’t understand what went wrong. Even if the pup did have a bad start they’ve had it from 8 weeks![/quote]
Take her at her word. Don't go. What is more important her feelings or the safety of your children? How would you feel if one of your children was permanently scared by the dog?

Our dog is lovely but for some reason doesn’t like just one nephew who is 3, she is locked away when he visits, it’s strange she doesn’t like him but likes others but you just can’t risk it with children

The fact that your Mum was able to laugh off the dog biting has shocked me tbh.
I owned my dog for 15 yrs and in that time she snapped at someone once. It was my niece who is 8 and has dogs of her own. She tried to hug my dog and my dog snapped (didn't bite but it was a definite warning shot).
Even though my niece wasn't hurt, I was in pieces about it and felt AWFUL because I blamed myself.

That was after 15 yrs of my dog being around children all of the time. As it turned out my dog was dying and that out of character snapping had been our first clue. She was put to sleep due to being in heart failure just a few weeks later.

It's awful that you mother won't shut the dog away for the duration of a visit from her own daughter and grandchildren! She should know how hurtful that is, that she prioritises the dog over her family.

I'd tell her that you'd love to bring the children to visit her, but can't unless the dog will be placed somewhere else during the visit. If she sees that you're willing to follow through, maybe she'll eventually do as you wish.

It won't hurt the dog to be shut in a crate or a room for a day, so long as it gets a walk every so often. She's just being stubborn.

I doubt she'd be open to the suggestion of keeping the dog on a lead in the house, but if so, maybe that could be a compromise. The dog is still included, but it can't get at you or the children, so long as you stay out of its reach.

Not the poor dog’s fault that your parents are irresponsible dog owners tbh. Poor thing.