Am I being unreasonable to drop naps at 17 months?

[MagicCurses]

My daughter had a cold last week and since then nap time has been a nightmare. She fights it screaming will fall asleep on me sometimes but when she gets put down screams and screams for what can be hours. I also have a newborn so hours isn’t feasible really.

At nighttime she protests a little but is usually too tired by then.

She asks for her bottle then won’t drink it (she is still a little sniffly). When she does drink it say if it’s early in the morning she will go back to sleep fine but before I rocked her to drowsy and every time I stood up she cried and I don’t want to promote bad sleep habits so this is the 6th? Day in a row she hasn’t napped. She napped for two before that then no naps for 4 days or so. She generally sleeps through the night. If she does wake it’s for a quick snuggle and then she’s okay. Last night she was waking intermittently but self settling and eventually I gave Calpol for teeth but she ended up vomiting.

My problem is;
She’s okay in general with sleep usually but these two or so weeks she has been getting bottom canines and her nose has been blocked from cold so that’s not helping. In the day she’s became very clingy to me so I don’t think CC is the answer but i also am not doing rock to sleep either. So she’s usually just been having an hour with me going in and out if she needs (she throws her comforter out) and then offering a cuddle and leaving and going back in when needed. I know parts of it is behavioural. But I haven’t got the strength or time when in general she settled ok to bed and sleeps through. Will she loose her ability to self settle? She’s not napping no matter what I try and when she does nap after w battle we have another battle for bedtime no matter what time it is. Without the nap she’s okay for bed as she is so exhausted. She gets 12-13 hours a night so should we drop the nap even though it’s super early?

I’ve tried going out to exhaust her, having lots of activities having quiet time, trying to get her to sleep with me in bed, trying to get her to sleep in a different room, in the pram, in the car. All don’t work at all.

I know there’s a sleep regression I don’t wanna rock her through but will her missing naps almost every fat affect how she settles after coming through the regression?

Thanks for reading!

Neither of mine really napped in the day at that age. I figured as long as they slept well at night, that was fine with me. Yanbu at all.

Find what works for your child and go with it. Mine didn't drop their naps until they started reception. Even now at 10 and 9 they need 11 hours a night sleep or are cranky the next day.

I mean she is cranky but she is when she naps too always around the same times so I think quiet movie (she never ever watches tv) or a book could help when she’s cranky and maybe a snack. Would she lose the ability to self settle when she will only do it once now at nightttime before bed when she’s absolutely exhausted?

If I was you, I would try quiet hour to replace nap time. Reading/TV and a snack. Maybe try to bring bedtime forward so she isn't as tired? Just keep trying and adjusting until you find a routine that suits.

DD napped until 4 BUT around 2.5 it was very much a snuggle up with a film and sometimes she dropped off and sometimes she didn’t. But even now (at 10), I’m very much of the mind that as long as she’s in bed resting at night if she wants to read for a while, that’s fine too. Which is basically to say, find a routine right for her without worrying too much about what you should be doing. The only thing I’d be looking out for is the overtired so won’t go to sleep thing but it doesn’t sound like that’s a problem at the moment?

Would she lose the ability to self settle

I don't think so. It sounds more like she is going through a tricky phase due to the cold and teething. I would just do whatever is easiest for both of you for now, until she is feeling back to her normal self. She may well go back to her previous routine in a week or 2. Have you tried ibuprofen for teeth? It seems to work much better than Calpol.

Honestly I think it’s too early- but if she won’t nap due to a cold / teething don’t stress yourself trying to get her too- she might nod off in the car or in the buggy at some point. I think don’t worry about absolutes, she maybe doesn’t need to nap everyday but equally she doesn’t need to drop the nap

None of mine still napped at that age until in the car. DC4 is only a couple of months older and hasn’t napped since around 14 months old. I’m pretty sure the lack of things to do haven’t helped.

I think once cold and teething have passed, see what she's like and let that guide you. Toddlers are all different - I had one who napped until age 4.5 and one who dropped all daytime naps at the same age as yours. They were both fine and their nighttime sleep wasn't affected.

My eldest dropped her nap at 20 months, my middle child didn't give up her nap until she was 3.
They are all so different it just depends on your child. I'd do the quiet time, cuddled up together and then she may drop off some days.
I don't think she'll lose the ability to self settle as I think once they can do it, they just keep going.

Yeah that’s true. To be honest I think because she’s so set in the routine for naps it’s get into pjs bottle snuggle songs cuddle then bed awake and she sleeps and nighttime the same but with her bath she isn’t having her bottle but knows she should if you know what I mean. So she’s saying bottle but somethings stopping her before she goes to have it she either says no and pushes it away or retches. But to be honest she’s doing that with all bottles. She’s ok with her sippy with water but milk she doesn’t want but I’d asking for it. And that’s usually what settles her the best so...

Yes I’ve been doing quiet time but to be honest I’m not seeing any difference in how she is when she has a nap and when she doesn’t. Today I rocked her until drowsy and every time I stood up she screamed and screamed then was standing in cot throwing comforter out like having a tantrum so I don’t really want her to get into the habit of being rocked to sleep so assumed just getting her up and skipping the nap was for the best. She is overtired. Of course she is but I’m hoping she will either go back to napping or adjust. The sleep recommendation for her age is like 11-14 hours and she’s having 12+ a night. Apart from last night which I hope we don’t repeat tonight. Last night she went down fine at 6:30 woke at 11 inconsolable had to snuggle her w few times popping in and out then around 1am woke the same so she had some bottle (I know I’m awful) but that settled her then she woke crying a few mins later I tried to give Calpol she vomited all over me and didn’t hear a peep until 7:30am.

I had to drop all my daughter’s daytime naps at 17 months or she would sleep terribly at night or wake at 5am! All kids are different but she didn’t need much sleep! She then slept brilliantly 7-7 almost every night. Now, aged nearly 12, she still needs a lot less sleep than her friends!

@SnackSizeRaisin yes I give nurofen too depends how she is. Usually Calpol before nap if she’s seeming to need it and nurofen before bed as I find it lasts longer. She’s usually okay to be honest. My partner keeps assuring me that most nights she sleeps through and must wake at some point so she must still be self settling then.

I’m really at a loss. She’s never ever been like this before and she’s started being really clingy with me in the day more so than usual.

At 18 mths my DD “dropped” her nap. Then a couple of months later she started up again and was nearly 3 by the time she finally gave them up.

@Autumnnightsaredrawingin thanks for that my niece is also the same at 6 she doesn’t sleep as much as others her age. But with my daughter before this she was napping between 30 mins and 1.5 hours then she started napping consistently at least an hour and half every day settling ok then waking several times.

@Deelish75 I can’t force her to nap. Did you stop trying to put her down then start again later?

Honestly I would drop the nap and try and have quiet time like watching some tv on the sofa after lunch. It’s exhausting, but I personally felt I’d rather have a full night’s sleep at night and not have a nap. I also brought bedtime routine forward a lot, so we’d be upstairs by 6 latest, Bath, stories etc .

I would go out after lunch with both baby and toddler in the buggy and walk til they both sleep. Then sit on a bench with a thermos. It will pass and she will probably self settle again- for now you just need a break and two sleeping at once is the Holy grail!

She may be clingy due to teeth and feeling poorly or just a developmental stage.Just ride it out.

oh I didn't read the retching thing - she's still a bit unwell. In a week she will be different.

@Popcorntoes I’ve been walking for 2.5 hours last week and she still didn’t sleep 😂 she won’t sleep in the pram or car it’s hard. Yeah I know so I think maybe a little unwell so hope she does go back to napping but I think this long without she probably won’t now because she knows the world doesn’t stop when she sleeps.

[quote MagicCurses]@Deelish75 I can’t force her to nap. Did you stop trying to put her down then start again later?[/quote]
Yep, she started to fall asleep on the sofa after lunch (originally her nap time) so started taking her back up to bed again which (surprisingly) she didn’t object to.

I'd keep it if at all possible as it's your cash get them into the routine is a double nap it's amazing. For months I got one most days and it was blissful.

Yes thank you all for your replies. I am trying to get her to nap trust me but it’s not fair to her to be that stressed about it so I’ll see how we do. May try and not put her down for nap a few days so there’s no drama and see how she does without naps. She seems okay so far

ooh poor you - definitely sounds like she is still poorly. X

@Popcorntoes we haven’t had a nap since I posted and to be honest she hasn’t been all that bad with it. She is self settling again for nighttime well I’m offering bottle she’s mostly refusing that. Snuggle and down if she gets up immediately I give her a few minutes and then go to her cuddle her she squeezes and let’s go when she’s ready then I stand say night night a few times and when she says it back I know she’s ready so put her into the cot and she seems okay with that. She woke once last night and was really upset - wanted a bottle I tried water and everything but an hour later I gave her the bottle and she settled back to sleep within seconds of me leaving her room. It’s much less stress I’m still
Offering nap in day but if she isn’t willingly going down I’m leaving it so we’re both happier and there’s a lot less tears.