To only give dc’s presents from FC this year?

[DimeBarLady]

I’m taking dc’s away for a holiday over Christmas. As such, space for taking presents is pretty limited. I can pack stuff for their 2 Christmas sacks into 1 suitcase and can fit both their clothes into another suitcase.

We normally host a big Christmas Day with lots of extended family but this year it will just be dc and I and my exdh will be joining us for Christmas Day and Boxing Day. It’s also our first Christmas post separation. Exdh is working in USA so us being in the Caribbean is the only way he’d be able to see dc at all over Christmas.

On Christmas Day they both open their stockings and the total of all their gifts in there is probably £80-100. A few t shirts, puzzles, a board game, Top Trumps, some chocolate, novelty pants, a book each, little Lego set each and some Minecraft Coins. I think my dm has got them both a game for their Switch so I might take those as well. Dc are 5 and 8.

Normally I do lots of smaller presents in stockings - so just socks, a magazine, chocolate, a puzzle/ board game and a cuddly toy. Then under the tree will be bigger presents from family and dh and I. We are going to do a ‘Christmas Day’ at my mums when we get home with turkey, crackers and presents but there won’t be anything from me as I’ve given them more in their stocking. Also there is nothing that either of them are especially asking for that they won’t be getting. I’m going to tell them the holiday is their present but my dm thinks this is unfair as a holiday is just a thing you do as a family rather than give as a gift.

Is that ok? Am I just overthinking? I’m trying to keep everything as normal as possible while aware that everything is completely different to how we normally do it!

I’m going to tell them the holiday is their present but my dm thinks this is unfair as a holiday is just a thing you do as a family rather than give as a gift.

I agree with your DM but YANBU about your plans to just do stockings. As it’s different to normal years, I would let your children know in advance that is all they will be getting to manage expectations.

Hmm tbh I’ll probably get flamed here but I agree with your mum. How old though? I’m assuming younger kids as you mention Santa.

I have no issue with going away and having main presents before or after or with just having the stuff you’ve bought them as their present but I don’t think a family holiday is a gift.

Apologies you said their ages.

When we are abroad for Christmas they vet their presents when we get home. We just take a few token things with us (last year it was pyjamas, slipper socks, a book, top trumps and sweets)

Can they just pick something they love as their present on holiday from you?

It is literally there in the OP

Dc are 5 and 8.

They could choose something on holiday, I suppose. I’m not sure how much will be available as due to CV we have to stay in the resort for the duration of our stay so I imagine it will just be the gift shop or if there’s something at the airport that they fancy. It would have to be on the way back though as it’s going to be a struggle to carry it as well as all the wrapped presents!

Even though they have lots and a holiday is fabulous I would still give them a present from you. Or say they can pick a holiday treat.

A holiday treat might be a good idea. I know they are offering sailing and horse riding lessons at the resort that dc’s might be interested in having a go at. They’ll probably be ridiculously expensive but if I can time it for when exdh arrives I’m sure we could sort it out between ourselves.

We did Christmas abroad (literally 72hrs, due to DH's job) for about 8yrs when DC were aged 3-13. We did stockings on the Day and that was it. More Presents, with grandparents and family, on a later day. Kids accept whatever you tell them and they never once felt like they missed out. They thought Father Christmas truly did go round the world, as he always found us! Travel broadens the mind just as much as opening gifts in your own home!

Beware of wrapping presents up in your luggage - sometimes things get picked up by scanners (even checked bags) and wrapping paper can cause confusion and mean your bag is opened/ransacked/delayed/whatever. And def no wrapped items in hand luggage - you'll feel a muppet in the security queue when asked to unwrap something Have a great holiday

I wouldn't call the holiday a "present".

When we go abroad, Father Christmas still deliver the presents under the tree at home - might require help from a friend if you are on your own with the kids and have to manage hiding that and taking the kids outside if you have to walk past the tree on the way out.

My kids get either family presents where we are, or a couple of token presents from us. We don't really buy christmas gifts for our children anyway, but a holiday treat would be more than suitable.

A holiday may be a present by your standards but I don't think a 5 year old and an 8 year old would see it as a decent present. The DC will probably appreciate a toy more.

Why increase the volume of tat presents in the stocking? Quality is better than quantity.

You have spent enough on the holiday without feeling pressurised to buy expensive gifts as well. I think the ones you have bought sound fine. Many children don’t even leave the country so the fact you’re worrying about yours ‘only’ getting a sack of presents whilst sitting in the Caribbean on Christmas Day is a little silly.

Many children don’t even leave the country

it doesn't have to be a competition to the bottom.
There's something fun in unwrapping presents at Christmas, especially at 5. It's not like the children won't have gifts, the OP has them, but the actual trip is not part of it at that age

We often used to holiday abroad

Bought online and delivered to the hotel.
Or otherwise call the hotel and ask them get items for you.

the only problem with getting gifts delivered abroad is that you have to bring them back!

That's why we go the lazy way and leave them under our tree at home.

I’d have hated being told my holiday is my gift it was bad enough on summer birthday on holiday got very little. I hated it. So one year I heard the grown ups saying about Christmas away, luckily my uncle would never agree to it.

We do gifts before when we travel for Xmas.

It’s dc2’s birthday the day before we fly so I don’t want to take away from that by doing Christmas presents as well.

We’re staying at a massive resort place, I can’t imagine they’d be able to accept gift deliveries.

I won’t do the holiday as a gift - just the stockings and get them to either choose a present or an experience thing while we’re there. They’ll still get all their other presents when we get home, just not a big one from me.

@HitthatroadJack

the only problem with getting gifts delivered abroad is that you have to bring them back!

That's why we go the lazy way and leave them under our tree at home.

But minus packing which takes the space

@DimeBarLady

It’s dc2’s birthday the day before we fly so I don’t want to take away from that by doing Christmas presents as well.

We’re staying at a massive resort place, I can’t imagine they’d be able to accept gift deliveries.

I won’t do the holiday as a gift - just the stockings and get them to either choose a present or an experience thing while we’re there. They’ll still get all their other presents when we get home, just not a big one from me.

Email the concierge- it is their job

We used to spend Christmas abroad occasionally and took a very modest 'stocking' for Christmas morning and then presents under the tree when we got home.

I personally wouldn't have a problem with saying a special holiday was part of their Christmas present. Do they already know they are going away, though? If so I don't think you can tell them it is their present later on. You have to give it to them as a present as in you put the tickets in an envelope. I think if you are a family that just as standard goes on expensive holidays then I can see it not being much of a treat. But if you're a family that can't afford holidays in general and then you use a chunk of your Christmas budget to pay for the holiday then it can definitely be a Christmas present and an amazing treat! My parents live abroad and when we've been over there I just took stocking things and a few small presents. They had their main present from me when we got back. If there's nothing they really want then the experience idea sounds great.

Hang the stockings at home before you go and get someone to fill them and send the children a photo on Christmas morning. Then take a couple of gifts for them to open whilst away, presumably their dad will also bring gifts? The gifts from you can be small and easy to pack, maybe things to use whilst away.
The key is in the prep, getting the children’s expectations for what presents will happen when and where and someone to help with the photo etc and their dad to backup your plan!