How long do you avoid?

[jimmyjammy001]

Just after peoples opinions, if you found out that your best friend was sleeping with your partner and then you completely cut them out of your life and had not seen or heard from them for 10-15 years and then you found out that they are attending a mutual friends wedding with their children, would you say anything to them or continue to ignore them?
If you would speak to them, what would you say?

Are you going with a partner? If so, this is your opportunity to show you've moved on. If you don't have a partner, is there a friend who could be your plus one stand in (and also provide a bit of moral support).

To be honest, it's not that great you are still ruminating over this 15 years in. Time to move on! Forgive and forget. Be indifferent. Maybe a bit of counselling to help you get to this place?

Are they still together?

Not to be nasty, and I understand that when it happened it must have been dreadful, but why haven't you gotten past it yet? It's been over 10 years, they've gone on to have children and as pp said this must have happened when you were a teenager. I'm not saying you need to be friends with them, but surely as an adult you can be civil for the sake of your friend. It really is time to move on from the feelings you have toward them.

How old were you all when this happened and how long were you with your partner when you split? I think this would colour my view on this. A teenage 'relationship' of only a few months I would've been over this years ago. If you'd been living together for years and marriage was on the cards when you found out, it would be more of an issue.

My instinct would be to not go to the wedding, but not give the reason, if you really can't handle seeing them.

I think you need to get a grip.

Your teenage boyfriend slept with someone else, and has gone on to marry them and have children with them and you are now all in your early 30s? I really think if you are anything other than completely polite to them then everyone will think you are an idiot. Their relationship is the one that has stood the test of time, most people will have completely forgotten about your childhood relationship with him