to expect DH to take time to eat dinner with me

[LadyHedgehog]

I had planned a fancy-ish dinner - three courses with matching alcohol for DH (and soft drinks for me) for Friday night, but pregnancy hormones screwed me over and I felt really sick so we had beans on toast instead. We had (outdoor Tier 2) family lunch planned yesterday so replanned dinner for tonight. Then DH announces he is watching sport tonight (on every Sunday but he has not watched for weeks) and he would like dinner in front of the TV but will take a break to eat it “if he needs to”. I had put a lot of effort in to make something nice and even got special beer in for him, so I was annoyed that he didn’t want to enjoy it with me. He could have suggested a different day because of the sport, but he had agreed to tonight and I had already started cooking when he announced the sport-watching. He did eat at the table, because I said I would like him to, but was watching the sport on his phone and barely spoke to me. He now thinks I am being unreasonable for making a big deal out of it.

Well, clearly this is worded in a way that you are looking for sympathy for yourself, but, if dh had said to me "Let's have a special 3 course dinner and spend time over it, like a date", and he'd suggested it when it clashed with a match I wanted to watch, I'd have replied "Can we do it Xday instead?"
Either one of us would have checked diaries etc before planning something like that.

Well yes that is my point. He agreed to the day/time and didn’t tell me until after I started cooking that he wanted to watch sport. I think at that point he should have at the very least said something like, “I’m really sorry, I forgot this was on, is there any way we can make other arrangements for dinner” rather than, “I’m watching sport, do I have to come to the table for this dinner thing?”

If he’d told me on Friday, or even earlier yesterday I could have done it on another day. I didn’t bother doing the starter or dessert but I was already cooking the main so I carried on with that. And after I’d put in the effort I wanted us both to enjoy the nice food, rather than him wolfing it down in front of the telly and me sitting by myself. But now he says IABU for making a big deal of it (saying could he take 15 minutes to eat at the table with me).

I have no problem with this sport watching generally, but as he had agreed to dinner I think he should have made some effort to find a compromise.

Yeah that would fuck me off.

But you decided it's what you wanted and then it stretched out over two nights.

He didn't really want to do it. Sitting talking while eating is fine for 10/15 minutes but after that the meal is eaten.

@AfterSchoolWorry

But you decided it's what you wanted and then it stretched out over two nights.

He didn't really want to do it. Sitting talking while eating is fine for 10/15 minutes but after that the meal is eaten.

First of all we both wanted it on Friday. I suggested the main and he said can we have X dessert and X starter and make a thing of it. Then we agreed to do it Sunday instead, as we still wanted the meal and I had all the stuff for it. (No mention of sport at this point.)

Secondly, in the compromise situation, all I wanted was for him to sit with me for 15mins and eat without watching the sport on his phone.

He sounds very selfish. Do you often have date night and this is a blip or is this normal for him?