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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parking AIBU

58 replies

Boatingforthestars · 06/12/2020 22:56

So not long after moving into our house a few years ago, we had run in with a neigbour opposite us regarding parking.
Basically the lady accused me of blocking their drive, I wasnt i was near the sloped kerb stones, not causing an obstruction but they had a moan anyway and out of courtesy I reversed the car a little bit so I was well clear.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and my partner pointed out that everytime either of their neigbours went out, they would pull off their drive and save their neigbours a space. Then when the neigbour returned their would be a big shunt so they could get onto the drive and their neigbour could have their spot.

Now is probably a good time to point out that the neigbour I have an issue with is one of the very few houses on our road with a driveway, and can actually have one due to positioning of grass verges.
Parking is a bit of a pain out the front, due to a couple of disabled bays opposite each other and the general road layout.
All houses have an open area at the back like a car park but not, so could park there but is inconvenient.

So one of the neigbours they like to save a space for has given up driving so simplifies the situation slightly. There is now only the one person they like to save a space for now.

This person deliberately parks almost a whole car length away from their dropped kerb so you cant quite fit in, my guess is they like this as they seem very protective of the road outside their home, even have a no parking sign (twats) the a few houses down also decide to park directly outside their house, usually meaning that 2 cars can park outside about 6 house and everyone else has to park round the back as the road is narrow and can only park one side of the road.

So after getting fed up of constantly parking down the road or round the back because said neigbours who have a drive anyway have taken it upon themselves to police the parking on our street ove decided to go against the flow and park outside my neigbours house (he doesnt drive) but on our side of the road, it cause a chicane which in my opinion is a good thing as it slows everyone down, but also makes it slightly more difficult but not impossible for the people with the drive to get in and out.

They have now taken to pulling off their drive everytime I go our and pulling over it to stop me from parking on my side of the road, and only putting their car away before they go to bed.
Theyve literally just put their car away after blocking me whilst I was at work, and withington minutes I had moved my car into the spot I like to park in. Petty I know but feel I can only win this with a battle of wills.

So for background we have 2 cars but I am firmly of the opinion it's a free for all on the street, not something you save spaces for your mates. We have young kids which can be a nuisance walking up the road as ones still in a car seat and the other likes to do his own thing as hes 3.

Confronting them isn't really an option as I am alot younger than them and a large man so feel like I am threatening/intimidating am older couple, I tried calling them out on it before and it just left me feeling bad due to the age gap.

So the answers for the poll

YABU stop being difficult and let them play their games park round the back even though it is a huge inconvenience and slightly tricky due to kids and wet wooden steps

YANBU carry on with the battle of wills and park where you like it's a free country.

Please go easy on me, this is a first post on here

OP posts:
BlackCatShadow · 07/12/2020 00:12

Does your name start with A, OP?

I’m just kidding. I understand it’s petty and frustrating but I think getting caught up in their games will only cause you grief in the long run. I’d park round back and maybe there is something you can do to fix the slippery steps. They must live very boring lives to get so bothered by all this.

Smallsteps88 · 07/12/2020 00:17

There’s only one option. You need to hire an individual to spend their life dedicated to parking in your spot whilst you’re out and moving away when you come back. I think you find them on MN Wink

WhatKatyDidNxt · 07/12/2020 00:21

The battle of wills option would be my choice. I think your CF neighbours thing they own the road and manage it Confused. They don’t

WhatKatyDidNxt · 07/12/2020 00:21

Thing = think

Missthedog · 07/12/2020 00:39

How old are your neighbours, op? I am only asking as I am getting older and wondering when I will suddenly start with the batshit parking wars. 🤣🤣 There are some funny parking threads on here (not funny I know, if you have to deal with it) unfortunately no real solutions. Just if you prefer peace and quiet or not.

EricBlairsHair · 07/12/2020 07:37

I have neighbours like this. They are a 3 generation family with 6!! Cars. It's like whacky races when one of them goes out. They all move the cars into strategic places so nobody else can park.
They have a driveway that could easily hold 2 cars but they never use it.
I once parked on "their" side and they knocked on my door and asked me to move as they couldn't get their car out which was bollocks. I said I couldn't move the car as DD had taken my keys by mistake.
It must be such a faff for them moving all the cars around but it entertains us.
Stick to your guns op!

Whyistheteacold · 07/12/2020 09:26

I LOVE a parking thread. Bookmarking for when you add a diagram

DynamoKev · 07/12/2020 09:33

due to the layout of our street it would be quite outing as it's fairly unique
It's the Royal Crescent in Bath, isn't it?

MusicWithRocksIn1t · 07/12/2020 09:39

If you want a parking thread you MUST provide a diagram! Its practically MN law.

Waspnest · 07/12/2020 09:46

It's the Royal Crescent in Bath, isn't it?

Grin
Original poster
Boatingforthestars · 07/12/2020 12:43

@DynamoKev

due to the layout of our street it would be quite outing as it's fairly unique It's the Royal Crescent in Bath, isn't it?
This is why I didnt provide a diagram, and I've been rumbled anyway....
OP posts:
Original poster
Boatingforthestars · 07/12/2020 12:45

So this morning before going out WE did the car shuggle to prevent them doing it, this then caused them to come out and start taking photos. We are currently waiting to see if we become facebook famous on the local pages later.

OP posts:
Original poster
Boatingforthestars · 07/12/2020 12:45

Shuffle not shuggle

OP posts:
WhereverIGoddamnLike · 07/12/2020 12:50

Life is too short for this. Move house.

GabriellaMontez · 07/12/2020 12:55

Did you take photos of them taking photos?

twittwootwittwoo · 07/12/2020 12:57

Nothing to add but I do love a good Facebook photo/"community policing" lol

Buy them a run of roses and leave on their car hehe

Original poster
Boatingforthestars · 07/12/2020 13:07

@GabriellaMontez

Did you take photos of them taking photos?
Didnt think about it till afterwards, I did say though that if they had asked I would have smiled! They just ignored me
OP posts:
AdobeWanKenobi · 07/12/2020 13:08

@WhereverIGoddamnLike

Life is too short for this. Move house.
mmm. Because its that simple....
dontdisturbmenow · 07/12/2020 13:11

You're both playing the same game, both not liking it when the other one 'wins'.

Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 07/12/2020 13:15

My neighbour a few houses along told me I couldn't park outside her house as it blocked her light... She parks outside her ndn.. Who has to park opposite her house not outside it...
She refused to believe I even lived in geh St at first!! (5years here!)
She actually owns a car park that would fit 6 cars at the left of her property..
It's permanently locked..
Empty.
She pays for a permit to use street parking instead!!

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 07/12/2020 13:15

@AdobeWanKenobi
So you'd really want to live in a place where you're staring out the window waiting for your neighbour to move their car at bedtime, so you can run out and get the space? Then anytime you go out you come home, see the neighbours cars, feel angry and petty and then watch and wait for them to move again so you can run out and take the space. Rinse and repeat.

Either let it go and stop being so bloody petty or go live somewhere else.

wowfudge · 07/12/2020 13:22

Well for starters under cover of darkness you need to put a sticker over the other neighbours' no parking sign that says "Public Highway".

Honestly though I think you need to speak to them and say you find the petty behaviour is unneighbourly and that they do not seem to consider that someone with small children has a much right to park near their own home as anyone else, that they don't own the road and you'll be speaking to the neighbourhood policing team about it. Record the conversation covertly so you have proof you weren't intimidating/shouting/swearing when they inevitably say you were.

Whether you do or not is up to you, but the last thing you want is for things to escalate and someone to have a heart attack in the street over it.

The truth is that people like this have very little else going on in their lives and are probably resistant to change. You've been pigeonholed as ne'er do wells for daring to not follow their stupid rules, but they don't have the manners to talk to you and get to know you.

AdobeWanKenobi · 07/12/2020 13:28

[quote WhereverIGoddamnLike]@AdobeWanKenobi
So you'd really want to live in a place where you're staring out the window waiting for your neighbour to move their car at bedtime, so you can run out and get the space? Then anytime you go out you come home, see the neighbours cars, feel angry and petty and then watch and wait for them to move again so you can run out and take the space. Rinse and repeat.

Either let it go and stop being so bloody petty or go live somewhere else.[/quote]
I don't know what world you live in, but in the one most of us occupy finding the money to move home and all that comes with that, in the middle of a bloody pandemic is far from as simple as 'go live somewhere else'.

Always makes me laugh when someone trots out the old 'move house' line on threads like this. Like it's as easy as packing a suitcase and walking through the door. Grin

emilyfrost · 07/12/2020 13:35

I think YABU, because you can’t win this. They’ve been doing it for years.

All it’s going to do is make you bitter, miserable and frustrated. Just let it go.

Original poster
Boatingforthestars · 07/12/2020 13:49

@wowfudge

Well for starters under cover of darkness you need to put a sticker over the other neighbours' no parking sign that says "Public Highway".

Honestly though I think you need to speak to them and say you find the petty behaviour is unneighbourly and that they do not seem to consider that someone with small children has a much right to park near their own home as anyone else, that they don't own the road and you'll be speaking to the neighbourhood policing team about it. Record the conversation covertly so you have proof you weren't intimidating/shouting/swearing when they inevitably say you were.

Whether you do or not is up to you, but the last thing you want is for things to escalate and someone to have a heart attack in the street over it.

The truth is that people like this have very little else going on in their lives and are probably resistant to change. You've been pigeonholed as ne'er do wells for daring to not follow their stupid rules, but they don't have the manners to talk to you and get to know you.

Unfortunately I tried talking to them about it a couple of years ago, the response I got was "the previous owners parked round the back, why can't you do that?" I'm a reasonably guy and told them I thought it was unneigbourly and that we should all just get a long. Today is the only time I've lowered myself to their level, and dont plan on keeping it up. I usually try and make it so they can act hos they like but not win, so they try and block me, so il bump the kerb (plenty of room for wheelchairs and buggys) that way they have tried but failed, I dont want them to feel like they have "won" when infact they are playing against themselves. I'm not one to be bullied our of things and that's the tactic they use, tried saying they know people I work with, local well known families etc it's all just pathetic. In all honesty I have no issue walking up the road if someone hasnt gone out of their way to deliberately be a nuisance.
OP posts: