Well I think it depends a bit on your history with DH. I can easily see how him deciding things that affect you, without consultation, over and over, would be a problem. Then he does it again when you’re feeling particularly vulnerable.
I’ve got a DH like this. His intentions are always wonderful and blameless, but his actions often cause upset and annoyance. He can’t seem to get the message that just a brief conversation (between thought and action) would not only prevent lots of problems, but cause him to find out information that would perhaps be important to planning.
After many years of this, I’ve come to the conclusion that DH doesn’t employ the two important life skills of empathy and communication on purpose. It just suits him to ‘look kind’, but actually do things exactly in a way that suits only himself. It’s quite an insidious form of controlling our family life. He gets to look hurt at the end, too, if anyone picks him up on it.
Anyone saying ‘poor guy, yabu’ needs to think further. It all looks very different if he makes a habit of these ‘leave it all to me darling’ arrangements.
OP, perhaps flag it with yourself to look into more fully when you’re not overcome with grief. Presumably you can’t call your tradesman back yourself and see if he’s still able to come? Just say your DH misjudged the situation (which he did). 