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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my six year old on a nightly walk?

458 replies

AddisonM · 06/12/2020 11:21

I need to lose some weight. I’ve been struggling with undiagnosed depression and I’m trying to dig my way out. I have been following a friend on Facebook who has dropped three stone since January just by walking. She walks every single night for miles. She looks fab.

I used to run and go to the gym but I can’t seem to muster the energy or confidence right now. So maybe a long evening walk is the way forward.

My six year old daughter is a bit prone to laziness and doesn’t really do much exercise. She’s not keen on it and I find this a bit difficult to accept, tbh (I mean I get that she doesn’t like it but it’s important to be healthy and she has couch potato tendencies). I’m thinking about taking her with me on these walks. I don’t know how up for it she will be but she’s quite clingy with me just now so she may come along just to be with me. I thought it would be nice. We could chat. We walk to school every day and I quite enjoy it.

Husband not keen on the idea (he would be at home with three year old, who wouldn’t walk far enough). Says it’s up to me, but thinks it’s a bit dark and cold and that she wouldn’t enjoy it.

Has anyone else done this?

OP posts:
garlictwist · 08/12/2020 12:33

I think it sounds like a nice idea. And for all those saying it's too cold and dark - it's the UK! How cold can it get? About 0 degrees probably. Wrap up warm and take a head torch if you want and it will be fine. It's hardly the North Pole.

jessstan1 · 08/12/2020 12:36

I think it is up to your daughter whether or not she wants to go for an evening walk with you. Ask her but it would be wrong to try to force her, especially as she can stay at home with her dad.

Why is it a problem for her dad to look after he for a while?

WaxOnFeckOff · 08/12/2020 12:43

Sh's 6 so no, it's not really up to her. If her parent thinks she needs to move more and get exercise and develop healthy habits then that's what she will be doing.

It's not about asking, it's about saying in a positive tone, "right then, we are going for a walk now, hurry up and get your coat etc" and then ignore whining if any.

Mandalorian · 08/12/2020 12:50

I have wonderful memories of being a small child, wrapping my doll up in her pushchair and walking a 'loop' of a few miles with my Mum of an evening. It was lovely, in the autumn looking in the houses, winter seeing the lights etc.
In the summer on a Sunday afternoon both my parents would walk me for miles with the reward of an ice cream at the end.

It's lovely together time. Go for it.

soschreibfaul · 08/12/2020 13:52

Why is it a problem for her dad to look after he for a while?

Because she would be sitting in the house not getting exercise and missing out on one to one time with her mother.

It could be a lovely bonding time for them, especially as there's a younger child who probably takes up a fair bit of the parents' attention.

And as a PP said, it's not the North Pole.

midnightstar66 · 08/12/2020 13:58

Why is it a problem for her dad to look after he for a while?

It's not a problem, in fact the whole point of the post is that the dad wants her to remain in the house with him but op thinks it would be a good opportunity to get her dd out and about and being more active. Never a bad idea!

jessstan1 · 08/12/2020 14:10

@WaxOnFeckOff

Sh's 6 so no, it's not really up to her. If her parent thinks she needs to move more and get exercise and develop healthy habits then that's what she will be doing.

It's not about asking, it's about saying in a positive tone, "right then, we are going for a walk now, hurry up and get your coat etc" and then ignore whining if any.

That's OK as long as the child doesn't hate it. I wouldn't insist on a young child doing something if she really didn't want to. However she might like it.
helloxhristmas · 08/12/2020 14:12

My kids have to as we have to walk the dog, something we've always done and Christmas make it easier. They do protest sometimes but always like it when we are out. It's good to instil healthy habits.

WaxOnFeckOff · 08/12/2020 14:19

WEll @jessstan1, I certainly wouldn't be asking in the first place. If it was clear that they were really hating it and had valid reasons then they could pick something else but that something else wouldn't be the easy option of sitting ion the sofa.

Too many kids given too many choices too young and it's actually stressful for them to be almost put in charge. They need and want boundaries and to be told what to do ime.

So in my house if child wanted to give up Judo for example and said they didn't enjoy it for x and y reasons, that's fine but they'd be given a choice of other activities to try based on the likes or dislikes expressed about judo.

jessstan1 · 08/12/2020 14:22

That's fair enough, WaxOff.

When schools are back to 'normal', they'll be getting plenty of exercise anyway.

Sarahandduck18 · 11/12/2020 07:22

www.itv.com/loosewomen/articles/90-of-women-fear-walking-alone-at-night

I’m in the majority who don’t feel safe walking alone at night.

After reading this thread I decided to ask DP to come for an evening walk with me. We saw no women walking alone.

A phone and alarm aren’t going to do much use of a predator jumps out from a hedge behind you.

Anyone I know who does shift work late at night either has a car or gets a taxi home.

RizzleDrizzle · 11/12/2020 07:43

@Sarahandduck18 just because you didn’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen
by your logic I could say no women are scared of walking alone at night, because I walk in the dark every night because my best friend who also travels home on her own in the dark every single night is on the phone. And I see literally hundreds of women shopping in their own, travelling on buses alone, walking dogs alone, getting home from work on their own. Going for a run in their own, in fact my best friend has a chest light specially for running in the dark

I’m surprised you feel safe taking a taxi given that you think we should all be scared because one person was murdered near you when there have been insidentscof taxi drivers raping and murdering.

I’m not suggesting you should be scared I’m just surprised your not given your own logic

RizzleDrizzle · 11/12/2020 07:44

phone and alarm aren’t going to do much use of a predator jumps out from a hedge behind you

No and being in a taxi isn’t going to keep you safe when the driver pulls in to a deserted car park and rapes you but you seem to think that’s safe!

ApplestheHare · 11/12/2020 07:53

Sarahandduck18 saying you didn't see something on one walk doesn't mean it doesn't happen Confused

I walk in the dark alone every day and rarely feel concerned about it. As with everything, how comfortable people feel doing something is linked to how often they do it.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 11/12/2020 10:00

Anyone I know who does shift work late at night either has a car or gets a taxi home
That’s simply the small group you know, it’s in no way universal or representative of health,catering,retail,pubs/bars care workers who get public transportation home and walk to part of the way

Do I go out after dark, yup

As I said women are more at risk of violence in their own domestic setting from a man known to them

Alarm, it’s a deterrent, if an attacker is determined and physically stronger yes they’ll overpower me. The deterrent is to startle the assailant or get the attention of others

RizzleDrizzle · 11/12/2020 13:04

I’m in the majority who don’t feel safe walking alone at night

Also no your not, you are in majority that were asked

Survey headlines like that are always misleading so you really think they asked every woman in the country?

I wasn’t asked I think I could probably gather by this thread alone there’s a fair number that weren’t asked

UserEleventyNine · 11/12/2020 13:43

I’m in the majority who don’t feel safe walking alone at night
Anyone I know who does shift work late at night either has a car or gets a taxi home.

But OP and her dd aren't going to be walking 'at night'. It will be teatime/early evening.

If women don't walk alone in the dark, how do they get to and from work in winter? Anyone who works 9-5 is likely to be leaving home and getting home in the dark.

tommyhoundmum · 11/12/2020 14:00

The more women walk at night the safer it is for everyone.

JillofTrades · 11/12/2020 14:21

I can't imagine what 6yo won't be exhausted by 6.30pm after a full day. This is a ridiculous idea. And how far and what pace can you realistically go with a tired 6yo. This is something you need to do for yourself.
If you want to tackle her activity level, you have the weekends for that. I'm with your sensible husband here.

UserEleventyNine · 11/12/2020 14:31

I can't imagine what 6yo won't be exhausted by 6.30pm after a full day.

All the 6 yos who attend Rainbows and Beavers and other activities, for a start.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 11/12/2020 14:35

I can't imagine what 6yo won't be exhausted by 6.30pm after a full day
All the 6yo who then go onto after school activities

Mn children must be poorly with consumption and fatigue if they cannot tolerate a walk after 630 or be taken out in the dark. They must be pasty and withered unable to tolerate outdoors

RizzleDrizzle · 11/12/2020 14:54

can't imagine what 6yo won't be exhausted by 6.30pm after a full day

I suggest you stop imagining 6 year olds and meet some actual real ones

Very few would actually be exhausted by 6.30

Helmetbymidnight · 11/12/2020 15:01

I have to say, I don't know people this feeble in real life.

How do you manage to do anything?

chocolatepowder · 11/12/2020 15:39

Jesus my just six year old is zooming around at 6.30. I wish he was exhausted!!!

lightyearsahead · 11/12/2020 15:45

Absolutely do it. Wrap up warm .
If you wear hats light rain will not bother you.
Start small maybe 3000 steps (just over a mile) and build up every day.
Finish with a hot chocolate (low cal for you) marshmallows for her.
Perfect bonding moment.

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