To ask if single parenting ever gets easier

[cadburyegg]

I’ve been a single parent for a week now (DS’s 5 and 2) and I’m already exhausted to the bone and mentally drained. I’m already behind with work, I wfh, but DS1 had a day off sick this week, usually I can catch up in the evening but I’ve just been so tired. The kids are crying for daddy a lot. I can’t see how I’m going to afford everything. I don’t know how I’m going to afford Christmas. I’m just firefighting with the housework. I’m just exhausted and close to tears constantly. Would appreciate some words of wisdom.

Oh Cadbury it's your first week! Bless you and all that worry;...of course it will get easier.

Is their Dad not helping out at all? Re. Christmas, 1 5 and 2 year old don't need much at all....do you have plans for the day?

Also, do work know what you're going through?

In a word, yes it gets easier.

You will learn what really matters and what doesn't. What needs hoovering and what can go another day or two. What is needed for a great Xmas and what will be kicked under the sofa and ignored.

For now, focus on the basics, lots of cuddles, easy to make food and plenty of sleep. Tell your HR team what has happened if you think they will be supportive.

Don't be afraid to ask family or friends for help. It will get better, a little bit every day xx

It totally gets easier! In fact, for me, it became easier than when I was with my ex, because it was one less person in the mix.

Those early weeks are hard though. Really hard. Go easy on yourself. Cut corners where you can, tell your boss, ask for help. Lots of cuddles for the children. You will get through this.

I’m not a single parent but just wanted to say it’s such early days and like everything in life it’ll take some time to adjust! Defo let your boss know what’s going on, and lower your expectations re housework even if that’s just for a couple of weeks. Focus on getting you and the kids through the next few weeks. You’ll be okay

Hi OP. My children were 7, 2 and 1 when I became a single parent. I promise you this will get easier.
How many hours are you working? Are you claiming everything you are entitled to? Have you looked to see how changing your working hours will affect any benefit entitlement? Definitely have a chat with your employer.

Christmas will be fine. My children were happy with music, excitement and a few presents to open. It doesn't have to be all the latest toys. Check out Facebook selling pages for bargains. I often bought bundles of clothing on facebook too.

Let the housework go a bit, and look after yourself. I would buy myself little presents to celebrate getting through each week, a facepack, chocolates, new slippers.

Your children will settle. Things are different but they will adapt. You will become and remain their constant. You will get through this together.

Assuming the split was fairly sudden you are still in a state of shock and adjustment. It absolutely will get easier. Is dad still around? Is he intending to have regular contact? Either way, you will develop strategies and work things out. Lower your standards immediately on housework etc
Clean uniforms, hygienic kitchen, food. Everything else can be ad hoc for now. Food can be stuff on toast, freezer food, pasta, with carrot sticks, cucumber and cherry Tom's on the side. Fruit for pudding. Get real life support and legal advice, plus contact the CMS. Do not listen to anything your ex tells you re legal or financial matters.

Oh Cadbury, sending you it will get easier I promise.
In March my husband left me and my boys who were then aged 4 & 2. I'm not going to lie this year has been the hardest ever with trying to juggle everything on my own and working a full on job along with getting used to the new 'normal' but I promise it will get easier with time. I completely agree with everything the previous posters have said. The most important thing is looking after and being kind to yourself, the housework can wait. Its absolutely fine to fill overwhelmed about the future but things will get better .

Mine are teens now. It gets so much easier. It's a breeze now. You can do it x

I’m going to second what someone else said in that I actually found it easier as there was one less person! But my kids are 8 and 9 so I appreciate I’m not running after any toddlers!
Definitely get their dad to pull his weight. Look into universal credit etc to see if you can get help with childcare costs. And talk to your employer.
Also, let your standards slip a little - it’s only you guys so if you’re happy with not hoovering everyday or just bunging chicken nuggets in the oven yet again then go for it!

Mine have the same age gap. They are 7 and 11 now and a delight. Very self sufficient dc who help me a lot. I promise it will get easier I think 2 and 5 was around the hardest time. Dd2 was a challenging toddler.