Probably going to sound crazy

[Duemarch2021]

Just sat here feeling really down and don't know what to do anymore.. I'm 6 months pregnant.. I'm not suicidal or anything don't worry! I am speaking to mental health department from my hospital every few weeks.. just keep feeling so low and its horrible because when i get like this, i feel baby kick as if shes stressed which makes me feel guilty and even more depressed. Ive taken antidepressants in thw past and didnt feel like they really helped and i definitely don't want to start taking them now(being pregnant) as ive done some research and dont like the sound of them.

I feel so stressed about everything and feel trapped and lonely because of covid. Ive finished work now but hated my job so i. Glad of that! I sit in all the time cos of covid...bad anxiety so cant go out walking alone.. i have uni work to do but struggling cos of my mood and its all online due to covid so cant get the help as easy.. me and partner keep arguing.. sisters seem to have disappeared from edge of earth which hurts.. hardly any friends.. just feel so isolated and bored and lonely.. i have my issues with anxiety and depression and ocd... got myself so angry and irritated before because my phone was playing up that i just started crying and felt like i wanted to punch a wall..

I'm just moaning and probably just expecting a hand hold... or any suggestions on how to help myself will be appreciated ...

Thats a horrible situation to be feeling in. I dont have much advice on how to make things better apart from maybe reaching out to a telephone support service for someone to talk to such as samaratins or breathing space. Im happy to listen if you need someone to vent to thats not in your everyday life.

Sending you a big hug. You don’t sound crazy at all. I’m 6 months pregnant too and it’s overwhelming at times. Especially with all the uncertainties of this year in general. I felt like punching a wall the other day (couldn’t get the damn printer to work and it was the straw that broke the camel’s back)... my partner asked if it was all the hormones, which I bitterly denied. But to be honest, in hindsight I’m sure hormones played a big part!

You’re doing the right thing to reach out and it’s great you’ve been in touch with mental health support services.

Now is the time to be extra kind and forgiving towards yourself. You’re doing the best you can in this moment.

Don’t forget, just because it’s raining now, doesn’t mean you aren’t heading towards sunshine

I can’t offer much in the way of advice but I’m here and I’m hearing you. Sorry you feel so shit. Pregnancy can be very very hard in so many ways, both physical and mental, and it’s even harder sometimes because you can’t necessarily take meds which might help.

Having said that, how do you feel about small things? Maybe one, easily achievable, go easy on yourself sort of thing? What if tomorrow you didn’t worry about a shower or makeup or even being particularly dressed - could you shove some joggers on the bottom and a coat over your PJ top and set a timer on your phone for 10 mins? Set it going when you leave the house and try to stay out for the full 10 minutes. I don’t know where you are in the world but near me tomorrow it will be frosty and beautiful. Try and notice the cold, your breath, the hedges, something green. If it’s later in the day see what Christmas lights you can spot and enjoy the thought of creating that for your baby in years to come.

Sending lots of as I know how tough it can be

Thanks everyone.. youre all so kind... im sat crying now cos of the kindness lol ... im in north wales.. just feels like everything is an obstacle! Keep getting loads of little issues to block my path like car light out, phone breaking, you know those small things that add up.. and when u try to fix them, another obstacle pops up! Just feel so stuck in a rut ... parents are vulnerable so i dont go there, my sisters seem to read my messages and then dont reply for weeks on end and im so hurt that they're not there for me..urgh just feel like utter sh#% at the moment..

Are you the first out of your sisters to have a baby? I was and they were dire while I was pregnant, they seemed to file me under “ew thank god it’s not me” and didn’t engage a lot. They’re lovely now he’s here and a reality. I think sometimes pregnancy, particularly with your first, is all consuming and it’s a bit of a surprise that everyone else isn’t as involved as you’d like them to be.

Mental health stuff though - if your sisters are generally good, nice people, just tell them how shit you feel. Honestly. Friends, family, whoever. Tell them you feel shit and tell them what you need - a walk, regular checking in, anything. Not everyone will be brilliant but enough will that you’ll be lifted up a bit and then you will hopefully
Feel a bit more positive

@BadgertheBodger

Both of them are older than me and have their own kids who arnt much younger than me... they are nice people and we get on... its just mad that they seem to have disappeared! I text one asking of shed come for a walk with me about 3 weeks ago and her reply was literally "I'll see if i can fit you in" .... then nothing.... haven't heard from her since.. just hurts so much