To wonder is this normal re gifts?

[CrotchBurn]

Saw another thread where the OP told her DP exactly what she wanted for christmas and offered to send him links. In that couple they also have a budget.

This just made me wonder if I've been doing it wrong 😂 I totally get that it's better to not waste money on something someone doesnt actually want, and also that christmas and birthdays can be a good time to be gifted something maybe you couldn't otherwise afford.

But last time I explicitly told or asked someone about gifts was when I was a kid!

Now with all my past partners and present, we just give the other person something we think they'd love, maybe something they've alluded to, or something we know they need or want. That way it's a surprise and also...I dont know, I just cant imagine flat out saying: "I want this bag, it costs this much, heres a link".

I guess it just feels to me like it takes all the fun out of being surprised and surprising. It's a great feeling to open something without knowing what it will be. And also nice to have found the perfect thing, and knowing you're going to surprise someone with it.

I've also never had a "gift budget talk" with someone.

So what do you do?
YABU = Specifics and budget talks
YANBU = Surprise factor

@CrotchBurn

So if you're ones who tell people what you want, do you still wrap the presents then? Because when you're a kid and you do a list for father christmas or give your parents ideas, theres always that nervous excitement when you're ripping off the paper thinking....OMG I wonder if its....I hope I got....YES!!!!

But if you've specifically told your partner and that's how you do things then obviously you know what it is. So if you wrap it, do you then go through the whole charade of raised eyebrows and cautiously peeling off the paper? 😂

Yes we wrap but I've never opened gifts feeling like you describe. When I was a child the main gift was unwrapped and set up for play. If you hate surprises you feel very difference unwrapping something. No need to laugh at others doing things differently.

I have a friend whose DH spends a huge sum on a surprise every year. She thinks its thoughtful and amazing. Last year he bought something she has already said she doesn't use or have a need for and she was still ecstatic. I would feel disappointed he had wasted our money on an item I didn't want or need and would feel misunderstood. To her the surprise and extravagance made it ok.