to want to go on holiday at Christmas

[twinsetandpearls]

We have had big falling out with my family and dp has made it clear that if we go to spend Christmas with my family he does not want to go.

Dp has just lost his parents one in hosptial and one to suicide and I thought we could do with a holiday so we were looking at breaks over Christmas. This enables me to tell my mum that we won;t be there for Christmas without causing another big scene and we get some time together as dp is still very fragile.

But dd (6) is adamant that she wants to stay here for Christmas as she want Christmas with her dad.

Should I
a) insist she goes
b) ask her dad to have dd and we go away on our own
c) give up on having a holiday

Tell DD 6 that you are going, and you would really like her to come with you. She is old enough to grasp the fact that it has been a dreadful few months and that DP needs to go away this Christmas.

Tell her that to be at home when he has no Mummy or Daddy would be very hard for him.

Would your X back you and gently point your daughter in the direction of going away with you and DP.

Does she go to Church ?? IIRC she does, so you might like to point out that it would be the Christian thing to do.

Sorry I missed the fact that you had fallen out with your family, is it permanent or just a deep one that will take time to heal ?

Could you stay at home for Christmas but then go away on boxing day - therefore you can tell your family that you are away on boxing day so it is easier to stay at home for christmas. This also enables your dd to see her dad on Christmas day and come on holiday.

Hmm, if dd wants to see her dad, when does she see him over xmas?

I'd be tempted to let DD have christmas with her dad and go on holiday with DP alone. He sounds like he needs to do this given the dreadful time he has just gone through.

yes she does go to church although I would feel a bit mean getting Jesus involved!

I can understand that it has been a difficult few weeks for all of us and that she may feel a need to be close to her dad.

We wanted to go away before christmas to make the most of do days of from work.

She wants to see him on Christmas day, I think she is worried she may be looking presents! And this is the first time her little brother can understand that this is Christmas.

ok, if it wereme, I would have my dd at home xmas eve and for the grand presents xmas morning, then take her to her dad's inthe afternoon, or before lunch, and then go away for a few days.

I think you should go but make firm plans for dd to see her dad and gp's before and after. Sounds like you could all do with the break.

thanks for the advice.