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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Childcare for 11-13 year olds

22 replies

MiaMarshmallows · 05/12/2020 14:55

Just thinking ahead and out of interest.
So if you are both full time workers, how do you plan around school holidays and after school?
I don't think a child under 12 for example should be coming home to an empty house for a good few hours until a parent comes home, neither do I think it's appropriate for a child that age to be home alone all day. Playschemes are usually not catered for kids that age either. So what do you all do?

OP posts:

Parmavioletmum · 05/12/2020 14:58

Watching with interest. As currently looking at returning to work, youngest will go to nursery but eldest is 11 and currently being assessed for additional needs. There's no way I can leave him on his own or even let him travel from school alone, and no wraparound care atm due to covid. Plus when he starts secondary school next year. No idea what to do atm.

altiara · 05/12/2020 15:01

Sports holiday clubs, we have tennis club nearby, then my DS would cycle home and be alone for a couple of hours.

I also work from home a bit more.
They would visit grandparents.

BeaufortScale · 05/12/2020 15:02

Back before covid:

each wfh one day a week in the school holidays
arrange something for the other days (go to granny for lunch, meet a friend) where possible
book holiday courses based on her hobbies and if she can get there by public transport (music is good for this)
take time off work

vanillandhoney · 05/12/2020 15:04

From 11, I got the bus home to the nearest bus-stop, walked a mile home from there, and was home alone for a couple of hours until my parents finished work. All my friends did exactly the same.

In the holidays, I was in holiday clubs until I turned 12, then I was just home alone during the holidays. I'd meet up with friends, have the occasional sleepover at their house (and my parents' would return the favour over the weekends) or just hang out at the house. It was never a problem and everyone I know dd the same thing.

Nobody used childcare and only a couple of people had a SAHP. This was 20 years ago, so only the early noughties.

TippledPink · 05/12/2020 15:07

You could WFH one day a week, one day a week annual leave, other days they would be at home alone, or book activity clubs. Pretty standard really.

Sewsosew · 05/12/2020 15:17

Holidays are the reasons I’m not working at the moment. No grandparents and basically the only summer clubs around here are football, which 12 year old DD isn’t interested in. She goes to a specialist one for 3 days (and on the last day parents have to go for 2pm).
She doesn’t mind being at home for a short while but that’s it.

Dobbyismyfavourite · 05/12/2020 15:20

I took 2 weeks off work then a few extra days to break up the other weeks. I use to sign my DD up to school camp, up until year 8. From year 9 she volunteered at the same club so this covered another 2/ 3 weeks of Summer. I only work part-time and locally so from year 7 it was a mix of home alone in the morning then afternoon at a friends house, other parent would pick up. Sometimes I used to pop home at lunchtime if nothing else planned. Secondary school is tricky until they reach summer of year 8. Sports clubs are a good shout.

MorningNinja · 05/12/2020 15:21

Changing hours slightly, wfh, sharing with another parent, annual leave, parents, tennis club, skate park in summer. Plus time alone at home.

But all of this depends on the child/where you live etc.

kowari · 05/12/2020 15:24

I'm a single parent and work full time so I didn't have a choice. DS was fine with two hours after school four days a week. Holidays were more difficult. I split up my 20 days, family took him out on odd days, and he made plans to meet friends so he wasn't home alone for weeks at a time.

kowari · 05/12/2020 15:24

Scout summer camp used to cover a week too.

Enko · 05/12/2020 15:27

Swapped days with 2 oen3 friends sometimes I had a child a entire week and they later on had mine for the week but mostly we each had 1 or 2 days off that week and had 3 to 4 friends together. It was a nightmare.

kowari · 05/12/2020 15:27

I wish there was more activities available for a few hours that 11 to 13 year olds could just get themselves to and from, either walking, cycling, or public transport, the same as they do school.

jgjgjgjgjg · 05/12/2020 15:46

There's a reason why there isn't much in the way of childcare options for 12 year olds. That's because most 12 year old don't need it. Childminders and temporary Nannies of course are an option.

randomsabreuse · 05/12/2020 15:49

Sports clubs often do some degree of holiday training camp, which should break up a lot of the time.

TheSilentStars · 05/12/2020 15:52

School day- DD came home alone from the age of 11 and stayed home alone till we get in (2-3 hours) We purposely did it at 11 with it being secondary school etc.
School holidays- lots more available in terms of activities both free and paid activities, plus organising our own holidays etc. A week with a friend, a week with grandparents etc.

Floralnomad · 05/12/2020 15:53

Unless your child has additional needs it’s perfectly normal for them to come home from school and be on their own for a couple of hours from starting secondary school IME . School holidays you do as pp has suggested and book some suitable activities / wfh/ use relatives for part days etc .

TW2013 · 05/12/2020 16:03

They can often start school early, ours can be in by 8am, and usually can go to the school library after school for an hour or two and do homework. If you could juggle your hours so maybe one of you drops him off at 8, then the other one picks him up at 4.30/5 or if near public buses/ just walk home.

SuitableWoman · 05/12/2020 16:03

There is little childcare available for 12 year olds because at this age they do not need childcare, except in the case of special needs.

Once they start secondary education, there is plenty to do when back from school:

Fix themselves a snack - fruit, breadstick and dips or a sandwich

Shower - they need it after a day at school

Enough home work to keep them busy for an hour or two

Entertain themselves with TV/hobby

BrieAndChilli · 05/12/2020 16:08

My older 2 are 12 and 13 and before covid they would come home on the school bus, walk through the village and let themselves in a couple of times a week and I would be home about 5:30pmnafter collecting DS2 from after school club. The other days I finished at 3:30pm.
School holidays was a mishmash of me or DH taking annual leave, them going to MILs in Devon for a week, and staying home alone. Occasionally going to a friends house for the day.

We are moving soon to the town where they go to school (as opposed to a village with rubbish public transport and 1 tiny OST office shop!) so hopefully they will be able to do more in the holidays- go to the leisure centre sports club that is a couple of hours a day, meet up with friends etc.

SuitableWoman · 05/12/2020 16:13

P.S. A lady I worked with had 2 children and her brother also had 2 children. Every school holiday, the 4 children would be together and the 4 parents & 2 grandparents would alternate taking leave from work. I thought it was a great set up!!

Conair · 05/12/2020 16:18

My 13 year old has been allowed home
alone since he started secondary school ( Sep birthday so nearly 12) During lockdown when I had to work he stayed home from 8-4 and managed really well. He has no additional needs however which makes things a lot easier to manage.

BakewellGin1 · 05/12/2020 16:22

DS12 and most of his friends have been having a few hours a day alone since last Summer in Y6.

DS has a key. I leave 7.30am, he leaves at 7.45am. He gets home 3pm and I get home 5pm.

He comes in, has drink and snack, changes out of uniform (into lounge wear after a bath/shower or into sport clothes dependent on the day), in summer he goes out with friends for a bit, winter he watches Netflix, goes on PS4 or watches skysports.

Homeworj gets done as needed.

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