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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

She doesn’t have a bedroom

42 replies

Totp1990 · 05/12/2020 12:58

Sort of inspired by another thread.
Our 2.5 year old Dd doesn’t have a bedroom of her own, is that normal/ok?
We have a two bedroom house and live abroad, so we tend to use the other room as a spare room for my parents/family who come over a few times a year.
The plan was to make it into a nursery before she was born and have a put up bed for guests or give them our room. With all the craziness of pregnancy etc, it never happened. Dd co-sleeps, we have her large cot bed attached to ours and I still bf to sleep.
We’ve just cleared all the spare room out and are planning the decor for her room now, is that weird that she’ll only probably have her own room at nearly 3 years old? She has so many lovely toys downstairs and in the garden as that’s where she plays.

OP posts:

DianeChambers · 05/12/2020 16:04

@BuffaloCauliflower

Co-sleeping is completely fine and normal for humans, and has been the norm for our entire existence until recently, and only in the weird West. If you’re all happy with the setup don’t worry about it.

Yes i was going to post similar to this

Jux · 05/12/2020 16:06

It's not a problem at all. Neither my brothers nor I got our own rooms until we were much older than that, in fact.

Fizbosshoes · 05/12/2020 16:09

I slept in a cot until I was 4, I can still remember it...AFAIK I'm pretty normal!

WankPuffins · 05/12/2020 16:14

Both my kids had their own rooms.

Both slept with me until they were 3/4.

My baby (4months) will have to share a tiny box room with Dd when she's ready. Unless teen Ds has been able to afford to move out by then (he'll be 22 when she's 4!).

It's causing lots of handwringing in the family who are all very against co sleeping.

She'll be in with us until pre school so I can't get her up about it.

WankPuffins · 05/12/2020 16:14

*het up

Northernparent68 · 05/12/2020 16:20

Do you and your partner not want some privacy

Bluntness100 · 05/12/2020 16:20

I think it’s irrelevant, what’s important is you are taking the time ans making the effort to give her her own room now.

I don’t think it’s the norm but a lot of peoooe will be in this situation for varying reasons. My only concern would be she will find it a major change to go into her own room, as all she’s ever known is to sleep in yours. Also as long as her cot is big enough for her and she’s not cramped.

AntiHop · 05/12/2020 16:29

Dd slept in our room until she was nearly 4 as we didn't have a spare room. When we moved to a house she chose to carry on falling asleep in our bed!

JonHammIsMyJamm · 05/12/2020 16:43

The co-sleeping thing isn’t something I can get worked up about.

Though, tbh I do find it a bit strange that you have a bedroom you only use a couple of times a year and the permanent residents of your house all sleep in one room.

WankPuffins · 05/12/2020 16:49

@JonHammIsMyJamm

The co-sleeping thing isn’t something I can get worked up about.

Though, tbh I do find it a bit strange that you have a bedroom you only use a couple of times a year and the permanent residents of your house all sleep in one room.

I thought that too.

My. Kids do slept but it was great to have a 'bedroom' for them for their clothes and toys.

I would have prioritised that over a guest room.

Benjispruce2 · 05/12/2020 17:13

Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t matter and if it did matter, you can’t change the past. Carry on and stop worrying about what’s normal.

Benjispruce2 · 05/12/2020 17:15

Btw rooms don’t have to be made to look like a nursery before children can use them. Does it have a cot? Is it warm and safe? That’s it!

Benjispruce2 · 05/12/2020 17:16

Agree, visitors sort their own accommodation or be happy with the floor or sofa bed or similar. Residents live in the rooms.

AliasGrape · 05/12/2020 17:24

My dd is 4 months and her planned nursery didn’t happen for various reasons - lockdown related mainly. I felt like the worst mum in the world not having a Pinterest worthy nursery ready for her but now she’s here I know I’m not going to be ready to put her in her own room at 6 months anyway. Looks like DH will continue to work from home for the foreseeable and there’s talk of his role never being office based again, he needs more equipment/ space than just a standard desk and laptop so he really needs the full spare room to himself, therefore I can see her being in with me/us for a couple of years at least unless we manage to move to a bigger house in that time (unlikely).

I think it’s fine! If you’ve all been happy with it then that’s all that matters.

Greenmarmalade · 05/12/2020 17:31

My 2 and 4 year olds are still in with us, until we sort out their room. I’m too tired to do it!

Kokosrieksts · 05/12/2020 18:22

My 21month old co sleeps, doesn’t have her bedroom and during the day has all the toys in the living room. I honestly don’t see a point giving her a room yet. Once she and I are ready for separate sleeping, yes, we’ll transition. I suppose sometime between 2,5/ 3 years.

Sugarhouse · 06/12/2020 08:46

My 14 month old shares our room and will for some time yet. My sons room is tiny no room for a second bed or cot and they are too young for bunk beds. Hopefully we can move to somewhere bigger but that could take time as houses don’t always sell fast here and we need to do some work to it first. She also spends all night in our bed so I doubt it would make any difference if she had her own room 😂

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