To live without a dining table??

[inmyshoos]

Can't fit in a dining table in our new house. We have a massive corner sofa and it barely fits in itself. Aibu to just sit there and eat? I really love a table, feels weird not having one. Have even considered weird coffee tables that convert to dining tables but they look weird as heck.

Will I desperately miss a table? Aibu to think we can live without one?

Our dining table is old and cost 50 quid second hand, our sofa was 3k.

You can't teach table manners if you don't have a table. It's not great for adult manners, either.
I'd get rid of the huge sofa which sounds as if it spoils the proportions of the room.

At least you'd never have to host Christmas Day!

• I usually (shock horror!) eat my breakfast in bed.
• School or college work done wherever.. bed, couch, desk; depending on laptop or paper etc. Neither of my teens found a dining chair comfortable for study anyway. (And funnily enough Ds1, now in halls, coping with a law degree - gasp - with no dining table.)

You can't teach table manners if you don't have a table.
A coffee table or a side table is a table though.

Do you have to make a decision now?

Personally I dislike eating from the sofa, but try it for a bit and see if you can cope. Make a decision then.

I gave ours up about a year ago, I couldn't fit it anymore when DH bought his longed for technics decks and mixer, it's basically a through lounge with a studio now
Don't really miss it as we have a travel trunk that we use as storage and coffee table. We have a fold up table for Christmas and we have to move things around for the day but that's it

@ColdTattyWaitingForSummer

- I usually (shock horror!) eat my breakfast in bed.

• School or college work done wherever.. bed, couch, desk; depending on laptop or paper etc. Neither of my teens found a dining chair comfortable for study anyway. (And funnily enough Ds1, now in halls, coping with a law degree - gasp - with no dining table.)

So you get up, make breakfast and then go back to your bedroom and get back into bed with it? Have you already got washed a d dressed st this point or not? Not being judgement, just trying to think through the logistics. What about toast crumbs or bit of cereal or muesli in the sheets? Doesn’t it make you inclined to get up all over again after breakfast?

LESS inclined, I meant.

I went without both for a couple of years when doing renovations, I missed a sofa so much, if you go for the sofa, see if you can get a foldaway small table that can be tucked under the sofa or in a cupboard somewhere, there are some meals that don't work on the sofa, so would be good to crack out the table, even if it's just a little individual TV dinners sofa style one.

@katy1213

You can't teach table manners if you don't have a table. It's not great for adult manners, either. I'd get rid of the huge sofa which sounds as if it spoils the proportions of the room.

Why can you not? My child sits on the sofa with a coffee table using appropriate cutlery. Like I said literally no one would know, when I take her to restaurants or other houses she continues to eat in the same polite manner that she does at home.

I blame the house designers and those who've carved up flats into intsy spaces. Of course everyone would like a kitchen table and a comfortable sitting room. Not everyone can afford it. I have a 2 bd flat where you can sit comfortably with two small sofas and a coffee table, and possibly eat in the hallway with one of those fold up tables, but it's also the only WFH space. The kitchen is a tiny galley with one tiny fold down table but gets so steamy you wouldn't want to eat in it though it does for breakfast. I dont know anyone with a £3000 sofa in my positio though.

I'd be lost without my kitchen table! Where would we craft or dump stuff 🤣 Joking aside we rarely eat at the table as there's just the 3 of us now and the lounge is more cosy but if we have guests or my dd and gs come round for tea then we sit up the table (they are in our bubble) I think it's totally upto each household to decide. I wouldn't stress about it. Mine is used more for other things than eating at xx

I hated not having a dining table for a while, though managed without. Currently living in a static, so tight for space and having similar to this has been a godsend.

https://www.lookagain.co.uk/products/santos-pine-amp-painted-butterfly-table-amp-4-chairs-dining-set//A-48S1333?utmsource=GoogleProductList&utmmmedium=PLA&utmcampaign=Furniture&utmmcontent=48S133&nsscampaign=Furniture&nsmchannel=PLA&nsssource=GoogleProductList&nslinkname=48S1333&nsfee=0&ordermedia=L0637&entry=3&gclid=CjwKCAiAAKz-BRAJEiwAhJNY71OJj6dYL94AReNrkkQZzO0UD666fCDJZE8Q-O6dGKdky2lHPLO1hoCykgQAvDDBwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

There's a housing estate where I've been into a lot of the houses for my job. A couple of people mentioned that they couldn't fit in a kitchen table. I started to notice that the kitchens were really badly designed. No space for a kitchen table and the door opened straight onto the reception room. I don't know why designers would assume council tenants don't want a table.

I'm all for the odd Saturday night bowl of pasta in front of a film but not on a regular basis and definitely not breakfast or Sunday roast. I'd sell the sofa and get something more practical and a fold down table - we had one that folded lengthways so more like a sideboard or bench arrangements for just us but could be opened up if we had people over or wanted to face each other.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Theres obviously a real divide. I've never not had a table. Even my tiny mouse infested student flat shithole had a tiny gate leg & 2 folding chairs. It was on the kitchen wall and you couldnt open the fridge with it down but it did the job. When I lived in a tiny flat in my 20s we had a tiny kitchen and no living room, so I had a table in my bedroom!

This. I've never been in a flat or a house without a table, even all the scuzzy student flats had a table (although they didn't all have a sofa) and I've never been in a living room that wasn't big enough for a table/desk and a small sofa.

I do a lot of work with families struggling. Not necessarily financially (although very often) but my involvement is a child issue. Whether that be persistent truanting, expulsions etc.

During our sessions I do ask whether they do sit down together ever as a family without the TV on over dinner (anything else would be utterly contrived).

I have never ever ever had a “yes”.

I would say about 8/10 don’t have a dining table. But many have absolutely vast sofas

One of my early suggestions is to try and get a couple of meals in a week. At a dining table. If doesn’t work without a dining table but just sitting on sofas because the key is eye contact.

What often work is the parent (s) sitting at the table themselves first and eating there. Gradually over time, you often get a child joining.

It’s a positive and should not be dismissed as snobby or ridiculous to have a strong view on this issue

@TheLadyGrayson

Why would you buy a house with no room for a dining table? My mind is blown 🤯 This would be non-negotiable for me.. sell the £3k sofa and get a smaller one!

Are you really that hard of thinking?

@SameToo

Eating dinner on the sofa is grim. Get a folding table.

Oh it’s not grim daft comment.

OP, I think you will miss having a table. As much as DH and I love to have a Saturday night take away on trays on our laps, I would hate to not have the option to sit down at a table. We love having family and friends over for dinner and you can’t really do that ‘nicely’ with lap trays. What about Christmas lunch? Definitely a ‘table’ occasion.

To the past poster yes I get up, make coffee etc, and take anything I’m eating back to bed (usually just a cereal bar or similar). Maybe it’s because I live in a flat, so I’m not traipsing up and downstairs? Plus various health problems, chronic pain, it’s just way more comfortable than a hard chair.

Of course you can teach table manners if you don’t have a table..! We eat out at least once a week (or we did pre Covid!), our children have perfect table manners. We just don’t find it comfortable to sit round a table at home. I find it odd people seem to think the only time people talk to each other is round the dinner table - we talk to each other all the time! I have dd aged 17 and ds aged 8 and dh and we all sit in the living room together all the time, we’re very close and chat constantly. Sometimes when we are eating is the only time I get any peace!

Why would you buy a house with no room for a dining table? My mind is blown 🤯 This would be non-negotiable for me

My mind is blown at how narrow minded you are.

Do you think everyone can afford a big house with separate dining room? What would you do if you lost your job, list your house and had to rent a smaller council house with no dining room? Die from the shock or refuse and be homeless because a dining room is non negotiable?

Open your mind just a tad and realise that not everyone can afford such things.

This year we’ve eaten evening meals on the sofa in front of the tv more than at the kitchen table, but I’d hate not having the choice. Breakfast and lunch on the sofa feels too festery to me.

If you can't fit one in it's a bit of a moot point, but if really miss a table if we didn't have one. We never eat on the sofa as I find it really uncomfortable. Do you have s kitchen Island or breakfast bar you could eat at?

I think if you have a choice, then clearly a table is important for many people. It reads like you chose a massive sofa over a dining table. Which is not a choice many would make.

Personally I like the option, I’m happy to eat on the sofa. But we always wanted a table, becayse sitting at a table for family meals is important to us. Also we socialise a lot and have friends round for dinner, and that’s not ideal when folks need to eat on their laps.

But I have fed folks on the sofa, we have a massive square coffee table snd sometimes I’ve done a sort of buffet thing and laid the food out there but it doesn’t sound like you’ve this option either becayse you’ve bought a sofa that’s too big for the house.