Advice needed

[Ifeelyougirl]

Hello, wondering if anyone’s been in the same position and could offer some advice at all?

Myself and my partner are expecting our first child next year (contraception failed), we currently rent but my mum has kindly offered for us to stay with her for a year or so for us to be able to save up for a house and pay off debts. We would obviously be paying a decent amount for rent to herself and towards food and bills but it would really help us and we’re so grateful. I am just concerned that mine and her relationship has not always been amazing so I’m just worried this could lead to a poor atmosphere for the baby growing up which I don’t want as I know how crap that can be. I am not the most calm person when confronted or within a disagreement but have booked some sessions to help me deal with this in a healthy way.

Has anyone been in the same situation and had a positive experience or that has any advice at all? Or would it just be an awful idea? Sorry it’s a bit long, any advice greatly appreciated but I don’t need any judgement on my situation thank you 😊x

Having a new baby can be stressful. You'll all be very tired so if you're not on great terms it would amplify problems.
How does your partner get on with her ?
It's kind of her to offer but I wouldn't if there's any other option.

Well, I tried this with my first DP and his mother. No matter what I did, I felt like an intruder it did not end well.

My sister and her DH moved in with my parents when they bought their first home so that my BIL could work in the house to make it habitable (apparently it needed a new roof). They were there 3 years and it ended with an argument between my BIL and my DM. To this fat, over 20 years later, they do not speak and do not attend family gatherings at the same time.their fall out had to do with my DM interfering with their parenting of my nephew. My DM refused to follow things my DSIS and BIL wanted to do about their son and they felt us was very disrespectful. My mother thought she was within her rights as grandmother and because they lived in her home.

You need to be aware of how your mother may act, your DP and how you may react to their actions.

How much space will you have at your mum's? Would you be on top of each other or is there plenty of room? How interfering is she? How easy going are you and your partner? If any are you are uptight I would advise against it. If you can agree to be kind and understanding with each other, to give each other space and to not interfere on either side, then this could be a life changer for you, but appreciate that she's doing you a huge favour.