How much would you expect?

[missymoomoomoomoomoo]

Situation: I have been a single parent for 5 years, dad not around especially since covid. No family so only me always and no child free breaks.

What would you expect from a 3yr relationship in terms of engagement with your kids?

If you mean in terms of an ex-relationship, I'd be hoping for as little contact with them as possible. If I left it is for a good reason and I'd want my kids away from them as much as possible.

Sometimes a disengaged parent is a blessing in disguise for single parents.

I am currently battling both- a spectacularly disengaged parent who is now performatively engaged in order to not look like a shit in front of his new girlfriend.

I wish he'd disappear. I know its hard, but I'd swap you in an instant.

No I meant more the 3yr relationship is my current one. The ex is 5yrs ago and I was more highlighting that he has chosen not to be around, completely agree about the disengaged parent

Bump

What level of engagement are you getting?

I don’t understand what the AIBU question is?

What do you want out of the three year relationship? Is it matching your expectations or not?

Do you live with your new partner? If not, how often do you see eachother and how serious is the relationship?

I'd expect a much higher level of involvement for someone that lives with the children compared to a more casual partner

From current bf, its very much every other weekend but he doesn't do anything with my DS. My ex never sees him.

I would say it would depend on factors like, when is he available, how old are your kids, do they know about him, get on with him? Does he have his own kids that need his time too?

Well, if he was serious about the relationship and saw a future for you as a family I would expect him to take an interest in your son. Perhaps take him to football, play video games or go for a bike ride.

He is without kids, my son is 8, we dont live together as he has a house that is hard to sell

That’s a bit of a “how long is a piece of string” question? Surely that depends entirely on where your relationship is and where you want it to go, and his feelings on these? And whether he ever has interests in being a father figure? Are you asking what the normal expected situation is, or are you expressing dissatisfaction of where it is and wanting to know if it’s reasonable?