Less of an AIBU and more of a WWYD?

[mcgonagalscat]

Before the pandemic, we were saving for a house deposit with the aim of buying our first property in the summer of 2021. My parents were going to help us out and let us live with them Jan - July 2021 to save save save. We will still be doing that. (They offered for us to move in earlier than that, in July 2020 when my sister moved out, but Covid put a delay on that and she was only able to move out last month.)

We had a baby in March, i suffered PND, later PTSD from an incident involving DS1 who was hospitalised during lockdown and I wasn't able to be with him, my husband lost his job, we couldn't pay rent, and we ended up going to live with my in laws.

They were so so good to take us into their lovely home and I'll be forever grateful for that. They know DS2 really well now, we have celebrated birthdays together, had lovely bqs, themed nights, Halloween, fireworks- really have made the most of living together this year.

I haven't been able to see my mum who I am very close to as we love 3 hours away now, before we moved, I saw her every day with DS1. She's only met DS2 three times, and I'm so so sad about that and all that she has missed out on.

My question is- would it be awful of me to move out of in laws and in with parents before Xmas? We are currently due to go on the 1st jan, as I start back at work on the 4th Jan, when my mat leave ends. I think I already know the answer but I would love sooooo much to spend Xmas with my own family, and I know how much it would mean to them to have Xmas with the grandchildren, it would make my parents entire year. DH understands and would be happy to move earlier. MIL and FIL havethree more grandchildren they will be seeing Xmas day, so would not be alone. They have been so so good to us, we didn't pay any rent until my husband got his new job, they have given us a lovely big bedroom and big house and garden to share with them. They've been amazing. I can't do it can I?

Also I didn't intend for that to come across so moany. I know we have been so lucky to have parents on both sides to help us out as much as they have, and I know this year has been awful for so many

All the parents sound wonderful - it is lovely to hear. Make a change on these boards .

If your in laws already have three GC to spend Christmas day with and it would make such a difference to you and your parents I would do it. Your dh being onside seals the deal. Go for it.

Sorry to bombard you with questions!

Have you tried talking to your MiL about it? She might be a bit upset but completely understand why you'd want to see your parents slightly earlier - it doesn't mean you're not very grateful to her etc but I think most people would understand and swallow their hurt.

Otherwise how far away are your parents and your ILs? How many people are they bubbling with already? Would it work if you split your time?

I wouldn't, no. Your parents will have all the good times next year with the children. Once you move, the in laws won't get to see them much with you working, saving and with covid. Let them have this final celebration.

Can you have 2 Christmases this year? The real one with your in-laws and a second one with your parents? It could be the start of a lovely tradition :)