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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pocket money

11 replies

WayTooSoon · 04/12/2020 14:53

Aibu to ask what age you started giving pocket money? And do you think your children appreciate and understand the value of money because they have/haven't had pocket money?

Do you wish you'd started earlier or later than you did? Do you think it has set them up to learn to save or taught them to feel entitled to your money? Does pocket money help children to have a better relationship with money?

What age did you start getting pocket money (if at all) and do you think pocket money given by parents/grandparents has influenced your current relationship with money?

My eldest is only 3, but some classmates are starting to get it already. I don't currently give my DC anything as I buy everything he needs, but would it be better to give him a regular sum and let him have some choice over things? (Talking 25p or so to choose some chocolate buttons or a lolly or something, not £25 to let him choose his clothes)

OP posts:

SpottedOnMN · 04/12/2020 14:59

I started when they were six. Then when they asked for stuff while they were out the answer was always yes, you can use your pocket money. If they didn’t have enough they had to save up.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/12/2020 15:02

As soon as they won't eat it. Three in DD's case. Her age in cash a fortnight.

She makes every decision. She wants to buy utter shit, she buys utter shit. But we buy NO treats when out, no cheap toys, no magazines. My kid with terrible impulse control and ADHD has saved extremely well for things she wanted with no more than a "of course you can buy that beanie but I thought you were saving for x. Your choice". It's taught her all about money. At 9 she buys her pet's food (she also paid for the pet) and feels extremely proud to tell people.

The trick is not to police it at all and let them make mistakes.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/12/2020 15:04

Oh and if she wants more, she can earn it. Some chores are the cost of living in the house (cooking, cleaning up her stuff) some are for cash (weeding, hoovering).

Original poster

WayTooSoon · 04/12/2020 21:02

Thanks both, that's useful to know (especially with regard to the attitude towards saving for bigger purchases).

OP posts:

BoomBoomsCousin · 04/12/2020 22:37

We started giving them regular pocket money when they were 7. $2 (we're in the states) a week - enough for two mars bars! spending and $3/week into savings. When they turned 10 we upped it to $5 savings, $5 spending. The savings they can only spend from with our approval and we say it has to be something over $50, though we flex a little. The other $5/week they have pretty much free rein on (I can see where they spend it since they get it on a debit card that is linked to an app I have).

They mainly spend the anything money on sweets, Starbucks and apps. The savings money doesn't get spent much. They mainly want to buy sweets and gold/bucks/diamonds for video games they play and we won't let them do that so it builds in their accounts they both have over $200 at the moment, which is a year's worth of savings money.

One daughter did buy a better guitar and an iPod. The other spent some on a phone and last year on Christmas presents for friends. It's good to be able to tell them to budget when they ask for things and to point out they have to choose between different treats and they have had a few disappointments which have lead them to being a bit more careful about just spending on something because it's advertised to them! In a year or two we'll be upping the amount again and they'll have to cover a few necessities (maybe school lunches/clothing/toiletries) and that will be another step again.

I don't think the savings account is having much affect yet, but that was always a long term project, we'll have to see.

Original poster

WayTooSoon · 05/12/2020 22:47

@BoomBoomsCousin, I like that your base unit is a Mars bar! My pocket money as a child rose in line with the price of chocolate 😂 I was given enough for a comic and a chocolate bar each week. Do you give the savings money to them to put into a moneybox/pay into an account or do you just transfer it across? I have a post office in my village and was thinking of getting my DC to physically pay it in so he gets psychologically used to handing money over, but not sure if that is just a massive faff!

OP posts:

abersinas · 05/12/2020 22:51

Have only started at 12, direct into a bank account. Allows independence and she has to make it last the full month.

ForeverBubblegum · 05/12/2020 23:15

My 4 year old doesn't seem ready for pocket money yet, he doesn't have the maths ability. He can count, but wouldn't understand that it will take twice as long to save for the £10 toy than for the £5 toy. I've started to introduce him to some buying power by taking him to the pound shop and letting him pick one item. He definitely puts more though into picking then when he's begging me for every other item in other shops.

Barmbraic · 06/12/2020 00:09

We started when they were eight. We're very cheap - €4 per week goes into a debit card for them. They are allowed spend up to their €4 in one go or they can discuss bigger spends with us although we almost always allow them once they have discussed it. Post office account is for birthday/Christmas money. They also each have a wallet for the occasional €5 Nana slips them.

corythatwas · 06/12/2020 00:17

We started in Yr 1. Smallish weekly sum at first, then gradually went up by a little each year, as teenagers they got a slightly larger amount but had to keep themselves in non-essentials, such as clothes beyond the basics and nicer body stuff than the basic soap and water provided by us. Money entirely theirs to spend or save as they saw fit.

Both adult now and I'd say they're both good with money.

BoomBoomsCousin · 06/12/2020 17:28

[quote WayTooSoon]@BoomBoomsCousin, I like that your base unit is a Mars bar! My pocket money as a child rose in line with the price of chocolate 😂 I was given enough for a comic and a chocolate bar each week. Do you give the savings money to them to put into a moneybox/pay into an account or do you just transfer it across? I have a post office in my village and was thinking of getting my DC to physically pay it in so he gets psychologically used to handing money over, but not sure if that is just a massive faff![/quote]
It’s all electronic. They hardly ever use cash (and neither do I anymore!). The did have money boxes before this but showed no dragon like hoarding instincts over the cash, so I though it best to go with something more akin to how they’ll handle money when their older.

They have a debit card that they can’t overspend on from a company called Greenlight and an app on their phones (it was on their tablet before they had phones). They can check balances any time and I can transfer money etc. If they need actual cash they ask me and I give them cash and take it from their account they can also get it out of a cash point but that costs them, or as cash back at a shop. They never want cash, though. Especially since covid everything is electronic.

They can also use it online which was a bonus for us. Greenlight lets you control which shops they can spend at so if you want to limit where they spend online or in real life, you can. We haven't put that in place as they’re sensible and there haven’t been any problems. We do look at everything they spend, though.

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