Posters bogged down in minor/irrelevant detail

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

I know it’s not a big issue (although someone will probably still reply to say ‘Is that really all you’ve got to worry about?’), but is anyone else being driven mad by how often threads get completely derailed by a minor detail - to the point you get more questions and comments about that than the actual issue?

I don’t want to make this into a TAAT, but a couple of examples:

There was a woman whose husband had claimed she was being rude because she’d had a glass of wine while cooking and hadn’t come to find him in a different room on the other side of the house to offer him one. The OP happened to mention that the wine had been open for about three days - basically to emphasise that they weren’t big drinkers. Cue post after post about ‘You leave wine open for three days?!’ ‘That wine will be undrinkable!’ ‘Actually wine is okay for about a week once opened’. ‘No, it says on the bottle drink within three days, and even that’s too long IMO’. It doesn’t matter!!! Answer the bloody question!!

An older one I found the other day - a dieting woman desperately wanted a treat day at Burger King. Instead her husband made her a bacon and egg sandwich so that he wouldn’t have to go out again. Again, genuine answers to the question bogged down with ‘Why didn’t you just get the BK while you were out shopping?’ ‘Didn’t you smell the bacon cooking?’ ‘What were you doing while he was making the sandwich? Didn’t you wonder where he was?’ It. Doesn’t. MATTER!!!!

Why?! Why can’t people answer a simple question without picking over minor bits of the carcass? At worst, I feel it’s low-level, disguised troll hunting. People don’t want to say outright ‘You’re a liar and I don’t believe you’ for fear of getting their posts deleted or being banned - so instead, they find fault with a minor detail, hoping to imply that this tiny discrepancy means the entire post is an invention. I suppose ‘Why did it take you 30 minutes to walk back and collect the bag you’d forgotten when you said it only took you 20 minutes to get home? ’ leaves much more room for ambiguity than ‘This is the biggest crock of shit I’ve ever heard in my life’...

Well, there would be less people. Not sure that would be a bad thing.

Somebody once questioned a post of mine on the basis that I had mentioned picking blackberries that same day and her blackberries weren't ripe yet

I remember a thread about a shitty neighbour who, amongst about 37 other things, was nicking apples from the OP’s tree. There were a depressing number of ‘Well my apples are NEVER ready to eat this early ’ posts.

I suppose in a way it's not that surprising that people who so quickly rush to judge others don't have the perspective to think, not everyone on here lives where I do!

@StillCoughingandLaughing

Well, there would be less people. Not sure that would be a bad thing.

Sure you aren't angling for the pedants to descend en masse and inform you that you mean "fewer people"?

I doubt MN would agree that you that fewer people would not be such a bad thing. We are the product that they flog to advertisers.

I imagine MN would disagree with me on many things.

Bloody hell - three days ?!

I’ve experienced this is the last 24 hours after a thread I started. Horrible, nasty people coming on and twisting what I said, insinuating stuff etc.

Turns out that a number of people reported the thread as MN came on nd commented.

I’m “new” here as in 2014 so I don’t remember the good old days when everyone was best mates but dear god this place has gone to the dogs.

Some people are plain nasty. I feel sorry for them and their pathetic lives. Who makes people on a parenting forum feel like shit on purpose? thankfully there are many wonderful posters who are supportive, not only the ones who agree with you, everyone has a valid opinion but there are ways to say things without being downright vicious.

Tbh I thought that was to be expected of AIBU. It's always been a thing.

My favourite was during lockdown when 1 poster criticised another poster because their teenager was getting a supermarket job. Apparently in tough economic times only people who need to feed families should take jobs & not selfish teenagers. Obviously the thread was about something completely unrelated.

I started a post about a pub beer garden and ended up told off for not having done a turkey for Christmas dinner 6 months prior. Complete with recipes and MN chicken type ideas of what to do with the leftovers and assurances that I'd get better at cooking proper roast dinners when I'd practised.

I love the organicness and randomness of it!

I feel your pain @Zoflorabore a while ago when my son was going through his worse bratty teen stage he we were at a real turning point where things could have gone decidely south without some really tough parenting.

It was a horrible time for all of us and one night I just needed some reasurance and support so posted on Mumsnet. Huge mistake, I got horrible abuse, no practical advice just projection and sneers. I learned my lesson very quickly and try to bear that in mind when I post on threads.

I hope you're feeling better now, and have managed to get something positive for it

3 day old wine? that's a ridiculous as the suggestion of freezing left over wine in ice cube trays to use when cooking.

If I have undrunk wine after a day I make a bolognese in the slow cooker and chuck it all in.

DoctorDavidBanner thank you very much

And it was only in chat too!

There are still people on there arguing now.

Oh no Zoflorabore I comfort myself with the fact we're in lockdown and people are not behaving as they normally would.

Oh, god the amount of people who latch onto something trivial. Big picture here people.
Anyway, the only reasonable answer to 99% of AIBU is "It depends".
For the other 1% it's "Ring 999 instead of posting on MN".
The snitty comments about the OP's husband/partner always get me. Ok, you wouldn't marry him. He probably wouldn't marry you either.