To ask to move teams?

[JobBollocks]

Sorry in advance if this gets long.

I've been working in a public sector office (finance) for ten years now and always enjoyed my work and got on well with my team. We are a smallish group of around twelve people split into three teams, in a bigger department. We're busy and there can be a lot of pressure to get things done and take more work on, particularly at the moment, and work has been quite stressful generally during the pandemic as it has for a lot of people. We are working from home at the moment which doesn't help things either.

Anyway, the management in our group was reorganised last year and an extra layer of management put in. Our team is now working for someone who has been rapidly promoted several grades for this position and has no people management experience. One of my colleagues has already left because of the very intrusive management style, constant criticism and looking for faults, and two more people are off long term sick. I am really struggling myself with it and I think a lot of her behaviour would count as bullying. I've been given a lot more extra work with silly deadlines, and have had reports written to the director about a minor error I made when I took over some work from a person who left and relied on their data. I've raised this with my line manager but he doesn't want to rock the boat, especially as the bully is also his manager and is very close to the overall departmental director. Other people in the department are aware of what's going on but no-one wants to take her on because of her personality, seniority and allies at high level.

This is making me ill, physically and mentally. I'm struggling to sleep and eat, can't concentrate, have an almost permanent headache and stomach problems and am just feeling permanently on edge and anxious. I can't see how to deal with this through the "proper" channels as despite what we say, our place isn't great with stuff like this and everyone I've known over the years who has brought a grievance has ended up leaving themselves.

My thought is to go and talk to our director in confidence, and ask him if I could move to someone else's team. The reason I'm hesitating is that if he says no and then tells this other person, then I feel it would just make the situation worse. I'm not sure how much I can trust him given his close relationship with the other manager. AIBU? WWYD?

I would go to the director or to HR. Your manager hasn't really dealt with it, and by the sounds of it the situation couldn't get any worse. If you go in telling them comprehensively what is going on, have everything written down so you don't forget anything. Raise how it is affecting you physically and mentally and they really cannot fail to take this seriously.

Hi and thanks for replying @alexandernevermind. I'm worried things could get worse in that the bullying could escalate if she finds out I have raised issues with HR or the director, to the point where I feel I have to leave or that I am made very vulnerable if we go through redundancies. I desperately need to keep this job as I'm a single parent with three school age children. I've been looking out for other jobs but there's not much going.

I thought if I went and spoke to the director and he could move me to a team under another manager, at least it would get me away from the problem and then it wouldn't matter if she found out.

If you haven't yet, start keeping a diary. It helps immensely to be able to point to a series of examples, with dates. And it means all the trivial things that you couldn't possibly complain about in isolation have a great deal more weight when presented in context as part of a series.

Speak to your GP too. It will be of help to have a GP record of work-induced stress.

Sorry this isn't answering your question.

Is there any way you could ask for a move under another pretext? Like wanting to get experience in a different area?

Hi @MereDintofPandiculation and thanks for replying. I've been keeping some emails but the diary idea is great, thanks. It does seem like a whole series of trivial things (and some not so trivial ones) but it all really adds up. I think I will need to go to the gp anyway soon as I'm struggling to keep going with it all and think I might need to get signed off sick.

All of the teams do the same thing pretty much so it would be difficult to request a move for a different reason. It's a wierd structure with an awful lot of managers in it. I'm more and more tempted just to ask for the move really and say I don't want to make a complaint but the relationship is difficult and causing me stress and I would work better in another team.

That sounds so hard to cope with. No one should have to deal with that at work. Have you thought about speaking to HR about it? In some of the other comments people have said about keeping a diary and keeping hold of emails, this is a really good idea. It's really hard to get the courage to say something at work but you have to do it for yourself.

I absolutely second the idea of keeping emails and any other evidence if you can, and the diary is a great idea. I was in a situation some years ago where I was in a new job working directly under somebody with a very 'forceful' personality and the emails I kept (because I am an email hoarder, thank goodness) saved my bacon. She was a micro manager and insisted on everything being done in exactly the way she specified, and any attempt at thinking for myself or being proactive was immediately shut down even though at my pay grade I should be doing that. We had been working on something quite complicated and I had done everything exactly as she wanted, and that bit of work was complete. Several weeks later she asked if I had done a follow up piece of work and I told her she had not asked me to do so. She immediately went to our manager and made a formal complaint that I had neglected my work. I was able to go through all my emails and document, with a timeline, everything she had asked me to do and, more importantly, where she had shut down any of my suggestions for taking things forward. This proved that she had not asked me to do any follow up work and that I was actively discouraged from being proactive and doing anything she had not specifically asked me to do. Needless to say the complaint was dismissed. I believe she might also have been reprimanded but that wasn't made public. I don't work with her now thank goodness and I have gained so much more confidence in my job. Like you the stress was making me ill. I now always keep emails related to the work I am doing so that I am sure I can cover my back if needed.
Sorry this is about me - it is just an example of how keeping evidence can help you in a difficult work situation.

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