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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think Covid is changing people in unusual and disturbing ways?

275 replies

tttigress · 04/12/2020 10:51

Have you noticed Covid changing you friends? Effecting their mental health?

Couple of examples of friends who have been very vocal on social media:

Friend1:
previously: quite left wing, into animal rights.
now: sees Covid as a scam, posting stuff from right ring/conspiracy oriented sites, attended a protest where people like David Icke was in attendance, many comments about "do your own research, don't listen to the main stream media"

Friend2:
previously: quite relaxed (maybe too relaxed), bit of a stoner, bit of a drinker, life of the part, quite sociable.
now: hardly leaves the house due to Covid, thinks people should wear masks at all times - even when outside, thinks people are taking Covid nowhere near seriously enough, thinks the media is underplaying Covid, thinks doctors are underplaying Covid etc. Although they think their life is in imminent danger from Covid still smokes and drinks at home

I am am bit concerned about the mental health crisis Covid could be causing

OP posts:
stayathomer · 04/12/2020 21:42

I know I've changed. I got covid (outdoors by the way so I wouldn't discount mask wearing if you end up with loads of people about!) And I used to be so positive and happy and now I'm cranky and negative and at times pushing away bitterness that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I've also definitely lost friends, and I don't get the nods I used to at the school gate as straight after I had it I'm pretty sure I came across as judgemental and over paranoid.

Gwenhwyfar · 04/12/2020 21:51

" I got covid (outdoors by the way so I wouldn't discount mask wearing if you end up with loads of people about!)"

How did you get it outdoors and how do you know that's how you got it?
(I have to wear a mask outside anyway).

YouokHun · 04/12/2020 21:53

@PaddyF0dder

I’m a consultant child and adolescent psychiatrist in NHS CAMHS.

I’m exhausted, personally and professionally. This pandemic has been a disaster to mental health. I’m so tired of our waiting lists, the feeling that we’re failing young people because we just can’t see them sooner. I’m exhausted by the phone calls to disappointed/upset parents, who want their kids seen sooner. Even though we just can’t. We can’t see them all sooner.

I’m exhausted personally. I haven’t taken a day since the pandemic began, except as parental leave.

I’m so sick of no funding, bugger all staff, and the usual platitudes.

Sigh.

I feel for you @PaddyF0dder. It’s such a tough job and even more tough when you can’t help people in the way you want to and in the way you know they desperately need. Flowers
stayathomer · 04/12/2020 22:02

Gwenhwyfar
Hi! I got it at a time we hadn't actually been out of the house except for an outdoor socially distanced graduation for my son. We live very rurally and it was in lockdown so it just happened at that time we hadn't been out and had done a huge shopping over a week before. No masks as were outside

Thenumberofrebels · 05/12/2020 00:43

I thin

InglouriousBasterd · 05/12/2020 00:53

I’ve definitely seen this. My normally nevertheless outgoing friend hasn’t left the house since March. She’s young and has mild asthma but is now signed off work not with asthma, but mental health issues. She won’t even open windows as she’s convinced it will come in and kill her.

It’s heartbreaking really to see.

CoffeeCreamandSugar · 05/12/2020 00:53

I have noticed that people are much quicker to anger. In the last week I have been screamed at, at the petrol station because someone believed I had taken too long. There was a queue in the shop, I needed to get bread and milk and my kids were in the car. Kids had unbuckled themselves so I was asking them to put them back on which was obviously the straw that broke the camels back.

I have had a motorbike aggressively flash and beep their horn at me because I pulled over to park.

My husband was sworn at in a shop because he wanted to buy some paper chains and a lady who got there after him (last package but she already had six packets) decided she had more right to them.

Lots of venom on Facebook for people who like doing various Christmassy things to and generally a lot less tolerance.

It does make me a bit worried if I am honest. Everything feels tense.

CoffeeCreamandSugar · 05/12/2020 00:59

My reaction to being screamed at shocked me too because I became very angry and shouted back, whereas usually I would just shrug it off. I’m quite embarrassed and regretful over that.

Wake up call for me to provide more self care for myself and to stop letting people get under my skin.

Flowers for everyone having a hard time.

Goosefoot · 05/12/2020 04:59

@tttigress

It is quite scary, friend1 in particular has had a political conversation from being a bit too far left to a bit too far right/conspiracy orientated in a matter of months. (although possibly you could say, that the two extremes are similar).

Friend2 fairly apolitical, just obsessed that they or their family are about to die.

People who are skeptical around medical issues isn't really a right/left thing, it happens across those groups. It tends to be people who for some reason thing mainstream healthcare is not trustworthy - usually that includes corporate elements especially. The thing is, sometimes it's not, so it's no surprise that some people are susceptible to taking that thinking farther than others might think is sensible.
Longdistance · 05/12/2020 05:39

It’s magnified the stupidity of some people I work with. Those that I held in high esteem have plunged to low depths. Being really careless and thoughtless of others and not following the rules at work about social distancing and having a carefree attitude about it all.
This is a school.

Oblomov20 · 05/12/2020 06:16

The diabetic dad not holding the baby, and the calling the police for a coffee sale, would piss me off. Extremists piss me off. The government pisses me off. I'm turning into victor meldrew.
Why people can't be balanced, respectful of the rules, but go about their daily business, I have no idea. Twats.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 05/12/2020 07:52

Oh yes 🙌
Just had a fast pre coffee Facebook scroll and I have your friends

How it’s affected me is I have become weirdly phobic about socialising again
I loved Nov
Lockdown Blush

lurch3r · 05/12/2020 08:00

Yes, I feel like we are all public property now. For example, I work with adolescent children and one sucks their thumb when they are thinking. I personally have left her to it, her thumb etc etc but now it's seen as a health hazard because we are not supposed to be touching our OWN faces with our OWN hands. I hate this intrusion and I hate having to enforce it. People say to me that it's 'common sense' but it really isn't and I think we need to remember that all these rules would have seemed ludicrous a year ago.

AuntieStella · 05/12/2020 08:22

I have been aghast at the number of people (including those who profess to be HCPs) who will openly state that those in care homes may as well die, simply because they are old and have few years of life left to enjoy. Horrible

Susanwouldntlikeit · 05/12/2020 08:24

these rules would have seemed ludicrous a year ago.
And unthinkable.
I am lucky in having a large house and garden and relatives and DC who are healthy and a a job I love as a teacher and outdoor hobbies. And people making the decisions are likely to be in that position with no thought for the effect the absurd rules and diktats have on people without those conditions. I am still going to work pretty much as normal as our school had only been lightly affected (one positive teacher, two positive children no closures and only a few children who have had to isolate for a day or two waiting for eg a parent test).
I am horrified by the casual wrecking of the real economy of young people in starter jobs being made redundant, small businesses which barely make a profit going under and worst of all people genuinely thinking that it is wrong to comfort or hug someone in distress-the PP reference to a mother who would not hug her DD after the DD miscarriage is the worst I have heard.
So yes -without a doubt this is a mental health crisis exploding far worse than the virus and it was all avoidable if the gvt had not panicked and then panicked people with their totally disproportionate response.

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 05/12/2020 08:29

AuntieStella, thosr posts need reporting.

Pikachubaby · 05/12/2020 08:44

The micro chipping thing makes me laugh

The government don’t have the tech, the ability, the motivation

We already carry a tracking device that records our thoughts and wishes. A device that knows our interests, who our friends are, who we talk to most, what we say, where we’ve been and for how long. And we all share this info willingly. Through social media, Mumsnet, whatsapp, FB, google, Microsoft

We are tracked and traced very successfully and willingly by these companies, who make a massive profit out of us

Why inject us with a microchip? It’s unnecessary as it’s already all being done via our phone

AuntieStella · 05/12/2020 08:44

Yes, I do report, but MNHQ response can be quite variable.

The more people who report, perhaps the more consistent it will become?

VinylDetective · 05/12/2020 08:45

I disagree. They should be left as testament to the inhumanity of those who post them. A pile in from other posters telling them in no uncertain terms what nasty pieces of work they are is much more effective than censoring them.

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 05/12/2020 08:46

I always report.

1dayatatime · 05/12/2020 08:49

@tttigress

A small point in that I don't think this is left wing / right wing thing for your friend. It is more a covid is a 5G conspiracy etc versus "we are all gonna die fromCovid!!" "Wash your groceries" thing. And yes there are extreme views on both sides and social media has meant that views do become more extreme.

Piers Corbyn (brother of Jeremy)is leading the charge amongst the conspiracists and he is most definitely left wing.

If anything greater state control over the everyday life of people for whatever reason is more associated with the right wing, (regardless of whether you support or disagree with those state intervention measures).

itsgettingweird · 05/12/2020 08:52

Interesting,y I said yesterday that I think I'm going to find it strange to go back to hugging, being near people and not wearing a mask.

It's not really due to excessive fear on my part. Just an awareness of pandemics, viruses and partly just that I've become use to it.

VinylDetective · 05/12/2020 08:53

If anything greater state control over the everyday life of people for whatever reason is more associated with the right wing, (regardless of whether you support or disagree with those state intervention measures).

It isn’t a right wing inclination at all, especially in this country. Communist countries are those most inclined towards state control. The right wing in the UK want the state to be as small as possible.

VinylDetective · 05/12/2020 08:55

@TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince

I always report.
Genuine question - why? They’re never going to see how unacceptable their abhorrent views are if they’re not challenged.
RaspberryCoulis · 05/12/2020 08:55

I am absolutely flabbergasted by the lack of resilience in this country. I read similar forum and testimonies from people in other countries, usually with a real lockdown experience, not the washy version we had in the UK, and my god the difference!

This is the attitude which has come to the fore in lockdown which just shows how it has changed people. Screaming for a REAL lockdown, preferably with people locked into their houses with optional soldiers patrolling the streets. A sneering at anyone who DARES to express the opinion that actually, lockdown is a bit shit and they're struggling to cope. The shitty idea that everyone else is doing it so much better than Britain, which is plainly bollocks.