Xmas and in-laws

[Littleweedandchops]

In-laws want to do secret Santa for Xmas this year, a message was sent round the group chat that I am not in but have been asked about that asked if everyone was up for doing secret Santa this year so one person buys for one person from everyone if that makes sense, now I'm wondering whether I'm being unreasonable because to be honest we don't really know the in-laws it's only partners mum that we see, we haven't seen or spoken to his brothers and their partners for over a year, they never bother with our dc send a bday present etc but don't see her, their the type to drive past and not bother despite being invited etc I wouldn't have a clue what to buy them either, Wwyd in this situation ?

Decline

Let your partner deal with presents for his family, not your responsibility, especially if you’re also not in the chat where it’s being discussed

Would you and your husband normally buy for the others?

If it’s low cost, then it’s easy. Just buy any old thing.

Good cheap alternative, the only one to answer this is your DP

Yes in the past he has brought for his siblings usually something personal a nice whereas my siblings would get a box of chocolates, I just wonder how on earth we'd buy something personal for people we haven't seen in over a year 🙈

It wouldn't be your usual £5 secret Santa it would probably be expected as a big main present as it would be from everyone but one person buys for one person from everyone if that makes any sense

I think secret Santa is a really good idea. The result is that everyone who is participating buys one present and receives one present. Saves everyone lots of money and time and effort, and reduces the exchange of stuff people don’t really want.

It’s up to you whether you want to be in or not. If not, you won’t have to buy a present and you won’t receive a present.

Is your child included or not?

Sorry, cross posted with your update.

I think you’ve been invited to participate out of courtesy. It could have come across as rude to leave you out.

If you do decide to participate, I’d be inclined to ask your ‘giftee’ what they want, or ask someone else in the family. It might be quite nice to join in on this family thing, but you shouldn’t feel obliged if you don’t want to. As @LawnFever says, it’s OK to leave this for your H to deal with.

Why doesnjt need to be personal to the people you are buying for. Not a big deal.

Decline. You're not even in the message group. If you never see them or have contact, ditch the gifts completely.

Punctuate.That's what I'd do.

Or even, 'That's what I'd do.'

@Littleweedandchops

Yes in the past he has brought for his siblings usually something personal a nice whereas my siblings would get a box of chocolates, I just wonder how on earth we'd buy something personal for people we haven't seen in over a year 🙈

If he’s bought for them before he can do it now, it’s not up to you to buy the present is it?

We used to do this

You wrote a list of 5 things that were £50 each. The giver had to choose from the list

Everyone got something they wanted. It was £100 a couple (so 2 x £50 secret Santa) but before that we probably spent £200 and receive piles of crap back.

I wouldn't do it without a list !

@katy1213

Punctuate.That's what I'd do.

🙄

@katy1213

Punctuate.That's what I'd do.

You may want to check your own grammar before being snide about someone else’s