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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ignore the nurse about DD's weight?

56 replies

FoxyTheFox · 03/12/2020 14:08

3yo DD had an appointment with respiratory nurse today. She has mild asthma and it was her first routine check-up. They did height and weight as part of it. Her height is 100cm and her weight is 17kg. The nurse told me that this isn't acceptable and she is overweight because her weight is a higher centile than her height however she did point out that DD has been on the same centiles for height and weight since birth so her current height/weight show her growth is consistent with previous measurements.

She advised me to cut down on her portion sizes and make her move more.

Yesterday DD had one Weetabix for breakfast with a spoonful of natural yoghurt (she doesn't like milk) and some blueberries. At nursery she had half an apple at snacktime, she didn't want any of the other food (they have the snack in little bowls on the table for the kids to self-serve). For lunch at home she had a soft-boiled egg and a slice of toast cut into soldiers, she ate around half the soldiers dipped in her egg, one small spoonful of egg, and left the rest. At dinnertime she had 5-6 cucumber slices, a small slice of roast chicken, around half a serving spoon of sweetcorn, 2-3 red pepper slices. She had a wrap but didn't eat it. This is a typical day for her. So far today she has had the same breakfast but with half a banana instead of blueberries. Her book says she had three cherry tomatoes and a breadstick for her snack at nursery. For lunch she had 5-6 raspberries and a slice of brown toast with peanut butter on, she asked for a Babybel too but didn't eat it. Dinner tonight is going to be steak with roast potatoes, spinach, broccoli, and beetroot. She will likely have 1-2 potatoes, a small piece of steak, and one piece of "tree" (broccoli). Drinks are all water (all day) or sugar free squash (mealtimes only). I don't know where I could make cuts to any of that.

Appearance-wise, I can see her lower ribs, no double chin, and she's all in proportion. She wears age appropriate clothing although she has short legs so I tend to buy leggings and tights in a size lower otherwise they're too long. She is always on the move. She goes to nursery five days a week and they have a large indoor play area as well as an outdoor one so they run around and play whatever the weather. We walk there and back unless its absolutely tipping down with rain. At home she is in and out of the garden where she has a trampoline and a seesaw, up and down the stairs, constantly climbing, etc. I'm not even sure where she is hiding this 17kg!

My other DC were very similar at this age and they all had their height and weight centiles catch up with one another between the ages of roughly three and four, although one does now see a dietician due to being underweight (ASD related food restrictions).

AIBU to disregard what the nurse has said about it and just see for myself how DD goes over the next few months?

OP posts:
TheTeenageYears · 03/12/2020 15:31

That sounds like utter nonsense and having just had a quick look in my DC's red books depending on DD's exact age it sounds like the height and weight percentiles are very close anyway regardless of which one is higher. I've always taken the view that as long as they remain broadly on a consistent percentile and the height and weight percentiles are largely similar it doesn't actually matter. My upper age teen is pretty much on the same percentiles for height, weight and head circumference as he was at a year so it's clearly where he's genetically predisposed to be.

Charley1984 · 03/12/2020 15:32

If she’s in the 87th percentile, she’s fine, lots of kids gain a little weight before a growth spurt, which also may be why she’s at the top of the healthy range right now. Her diet is good (and as an aside, obviously more than 400 calories).

ClaireP20 · 03/12/2020 15:38

I would say that is a very restrictive diet actually. Hardly any calcium. My one would be starving! Personally I'd ignore the peadiatrician and give her a juice and a cookie before bed too! X

CoconutGrove · 03/12/2020 15:46

She's within the healthy weight range according to the NHS height/weight checker

fashu · 03/12/2020 16:08

My son is 2. He is 101cm and just over 15kg so about the same as your DD. No one has ever said anything about my DS if anything they say he is slim. He eats a lot more than your DD. Most of the day is spent eating.
Every child is different and she is only 3. I wouldn't worry about it.

Leannethom85 · 03/12/2020 16:11

I think people should let kids be kids rather than give young children complexes about their weight... Its because of these idiots that put ideas into my daughters head who was petite and slim and only 4 that all foods were unhealthy and she wouldn't eat anything and faint in pe class at school. True some kids are overweight but most are just puppy fat and they lose that when they take growth spurts. Have you seen some of the nurses they might want to take their own advice on nutrition and weight loss before starting on parents kids...

FoxyTheFox · 03/12/2020 16:13

I've spoken to the HV on the phone and she isn't concerned, she's said that the red book centiles aren't always a good indicator at this age and her BMI is fine. She told me they'll do her height and weight again at her hearing test as its standard to do them at initial appointments and if they say anything I should tell them that my HV is aware and unconcerned. She gave me the usual advice about remembering to give her a daily vitamin and to keep offering milk/cheese even if refused and using them in cooking where I can (she knows DD doesn't like them).

Thank you all for the advice.

OP posts:
FoxyTheFox · 03/12/2020 16:15

I would say that is a very restrictive diet actually. Hardly any calcium. My one would be starving!

I have one DC who will hoover up everything in sight and another who lives on fresh air and nuggets, DD was sent to make sure I stay on my toes Grin

OP posts:
Bonsai49 · 03/12/2020 16:20

I’d have ignored the nurse too - she’s clearly not a big eater

Fluffybutter · 03/12/2020 16:20

Yanbu .
I stopped going to the “health” checks when she said my dd was underweight and I need to add butter to all her food .
I was pretty disgusted.
Dd is 9 now and slim and healthy looking .
I was the same (until I got to my early 20’s and bought a car 😢 )

ShinyRuby · 03/12/2020 16:23

Just to add, I had several talks from the health visitor about dd2's weight & height. I did ignore it because I knew dd was fine, she grew from a chunky toddler into a slim child & is a very willowy teenager now. Charts are useful guides but that's all.

Ratbagratty · 03/12/2020 16:34

@YerAWizardHarry the BMI calculator did give a percentile level at the end. It was far more than either of the 2 lines recorded in the book. I get that they are not the same thing but they don't work together to help anyone. We are told to use the red book which in my case shows my DD is perfectly fine, use the BMI calculator and it says she is grossly overweight, which she is not as she had been seen by a medical professional and it was not a concern.

Go with your best judgement op, the information out there is very conflicting.

texelgirl · 03/12/2020 16:36

Ignore the nurse, your child is eating what she needs. A bit more calcium wouldn't go amiss. I have had 6 children and everyone of them was chunky until they were 8 or 9 now as adults the are all thin to normal. One Son is 6ft 2 and 9 stone. They will be what they will be.

zoemum2006 · 03/12/2020 16:45

I put her stats in to the NHS BMI calculator for kids and she's at the 87% centile - which is totally healthy.

Don't worry.

Pieceofpurplesky · 03/12/2020 17:13

Ignore. I was told the same about DS. He's now 16 and over 6 feet tall.

WankPuffins · 03/12/2020 17:16

My Ds is now 18.

He was always like your Dd.
I was always told he was too heavy. But he ate actually quite little and very healthily. I could always see his ribs.

He's now 5'10", medium size supermarket clothes (to give you an example), and had a 34 inch waist.

He weighs 17 stone. Which makes no sense. He's just very heavy.

As am I.

I'm 5'5" and when I was a size 8, I still weighed 11 stone. I had a dr weigh me three times once as they didn't believe I was so heavy.

Pythonesque · 03/12/2020 17:25

I looked up the height/weight charts. Depending on her actual age, her weight is 91st centile. Her height - is closer to the 91st centile than to the 75th. Lots of great points have been made already anyway, but I would add that the nurse suggesting there is ANY centile difference in these two measurements, suggests that she doesn't know what she's talking about. You don't have to have weight actively below your height centile measured to the nearest 1% to be healthy!! (measurement error for a start).

Both my children reached 21 kg around the age of 3.5. Yes they were "chunky" but not actively overweight at that age, and 98% or greater for height. They slimmed down naturally by 6-7 without any intervention or changes on our part, and are now tall slim teens. I'm sure they would have had "the letter" on starting school had they not been in independent schools but I would have happily ignored it. I think tall kids are commonly overcalled at that age, and worry that some overweight short children may be underrecognised.

81Byerley · 03/12/2020 17:25

I'd say she isn't eating enough! That is a very small amount of food. Ignore the nurse!

CecilyP · 03/12/2020 17:27

She is towards the upper end of a healthy weight, so fine. If the nurse was looking at one of those coloured graph things, it would have shown this if she had read it properly. So definitely not unacceptable!

AlwaysUtterChaos · 03/12/2020 17:28

If you know you're not feeding her too much or the wrong things then I wouldn't be concerned.
I was told the same for my ds aged 2, He was always in the 99th centile, I ignored it, he had a good diet and adequate exercise so I was happy with that. He's now 5'8 at 13 and absolutely not overweight, it was just his build at the time. I guess they have to flag it up as a concern but Im sure it will sort itself out.

FestiveChristmasLights · 03/12/2020 17:31

I would be concerned considering how few calories she eats and that she is still above average height and weight. It might be worth keeping a longer term food diary and speaking to the HV again after Christmas.

HikeForward · 03/12/2020 17:34

As the nurse brought it up she’s obviously concerned your DD is on the verge of being overweight so has a duty of care to mention it, as it could affect her asthma.

At 3 mine just nibbled at food and rarely ate a proper portion of anything, she’s always been very active and it’s a struggle to get her to sit and eat a meal even at 6. She looks a bit skinny but doctor seems to think that’s normal and they gain weight later on?

It sounds like your DD gets a lot of snacks at nursery, as well as meals at home, maybe she’s eating more than nursery report?

Lessofallthisunpleasantness · 03/12/2020 17:41

Check your red book they give you when baby is born. 17kg at 3yrs.... assuming she is just 3 is on about 93rd centile, within healthy weight. If she is 3 and a half then she would be about 80th centile and if she is almost 4 she would be 55th centile.

So I don't think you need to be unduly worried.

Mamabear2020 · 03/12/2020 17:45

I really dislike that they pass these judgements on such young children.

I have 2 boys and despite both being 25th centile for height, one is 91st centile for weight, the other 9th. They eat the same foods and the 91st centile one is on the go ALL day. At 2 he could easily walk a mile and a half daily. I lost count of the number of times I was told to cut his food portions- from 4 months despite him being breastfed.

If you know your child is eating the right kind of foods and is active, i would disregard the advice 🤷‍♀️

WorraLiberty · 03/12/2020 17:45

@81Byerley

I'd say she isn't eating enough! That is a very small amount of food. Ignore the nurse!
She's eating enough for her by the sound of it.

I really wouldn't worry, OP.

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