To contact nieces dad for contact?

[Cheeseboardandmincepies]

Bare with me this is a long one!

we haven’t seen DN for two years; as we fell out with SIL for reasons beyond our control. We have been NC for two years as she refuses us to allow to see or have contact with DN.
DNs dad isn’t with SIL and has regular contact with her however he is a major CF who in the past made up very nasty lies about me and DP to manipulate SIL. My DC miss DN dearly, would it be unreasonable to contact him and ask for contact through him baring in mind the past and his lies? Or would it be a total waste of time and upset the apple cart so to speak? There is no way we’ll ever have contact with SIL again due to her behaviour and her effecting my DCs mental health so this is the only way we can have some sort of contact with her.

Hard one, OP, but to be honest I think I would just leave it.

My DM was basically rejected by her family, and a counsellor advised that it was best that my DSis and I had no contact with them, as otherwise we would be fed the hate that they spewed about my DM.

I had (still have) cousins, but have no contact with them. My feeling is that, if I want to, I can get in contact with them now or in the future. I don't think I will though. I was 7yo when I watched my DM's sister yelling at my DM, telling her she was mental, etc. and, quite, frankly, I have no desire to have any contact with the lot of them.

I don't know how old your DN is, or your own DC, but they can contact each other in the future (they all seem to have Instagram/TikTok etc nowsdays!). If your DC's mental health has already been affected, I wouldn't risk the contact.

It would be completely unfair on your niece. Leave it until she is old enough to contact her yourself.

Leave it, I have nc with my sister , if I found out she did this I would be livid. You have no “rights” to see her I'm afraid