Would you question the teachers seating plan.

[MerryChristmas9792]

Dd is only 5 and in year 1. For a while now she’s had issues with a particular girl in her class. I know kids will be kids but she’s been in tears some days. Funnily enough the girls older sibling is in the same class as my oldest and there’s been issues there too.

Dd is a little speech delayed, has a mild physical disability but generally settled at school and has lots of friends. She seems to get on with everyone apart from this one girl!

But the school have sat Dd next to each other!! Teacher probably has their reasons but every day Dd is in tears because said girl has said some nasty things to her. Like everyone’s coming to my party but you, you aren’t allowed to play with such and such as they are my friends etc. Yet when we see said girl on the school run or in the village Dd will always be kind and wave to her - usually the girl ignores Dd. It breaks my heart.

I know kids will be kids etc. But this is the only major issue I’ve had with Dd and they have been seated next to each other!

Would you mention it to the school? To request that they sit separately? Or am I being precious? Assuming that most of the horrible things are said in the playground rather than the classroom..

Aibu? I’m not the type to go marching into the school to raise concerns (I would if I had to but only do if I really feel the absolute need).

She also tells Dd to learn to speak properly - some of DD’s words are unclear 😫

You don't need to 'question' it but just go explain to the teacher and I'm sure they'll move them around.

I would approach it very nicely with the teacher, yes.

I had to do the same last week: DD has vocal tics and the kid she was sitting next to was telling her to shut up - she literally can't!

The teacher was lovely about it. Just go in gently and explain the situation and ask what's possible.

I’d have no hesitation in dropping the teacher a line and say DD has been experiencing some difficulties and upset, would they consider moving her please? I think you have to tread quite lightly as moving seats is not the simple process it used to be sadly.

Agree - just have a quiet word with the teacher asking if she could please move one of them. I'm sure they would be happy to review the seating plans once she knows how upset your daughter is.

Also, plans are a pain to move at the moment due to needed to keep a record of close contacts in case of any positive covid results, but as it's coming up to a holiday this is an ideal time to ask. After a two week break from school it is much easier to move kids around.

Yes, there are times for letting them fight their own battles and this isn't one of them. Poor dd. Agree a quiet word with the teacher is needed, you want dd to feel happy and safe at school.

This is normal well into high school. An email often comes through asking for X to be moved away from Y, or Z needs to sit at the front because they can't see the board or are on crutches and need to elevate their leg.

Asking for her to be moved is a non-issue, but you must report the bullying behaviour that is not OK and the teacher and lunch staff can keep an eye out and try and nip it in the bud make school a more pleasant place for your DD.

Absolutely speak to the teacher.

Just speak to the teacher and tell her that your dd has been upset by the things the girl has said, and what she has said. I wouldn’t question the seating plan, it’s likely to change in a couple of weeks in the new year, and the things are probably being said in the playground anyway.

As a teacher if this was brought to my attention I would move them apart. It is normal that things like this come up over the year and some smaller children are more likely to speak to parents than their teacher when upset. Just ask politely.

Thank you. They’ve only been placed next to each other very recently. She used to sit next to someone else! But I’ll have a word!

@Fredthefrog thank you. My daughter is young for her age being a late July summer birthday and also speech delayed!

I am a primary school teacher and seating plans are tricky at the moment- we're not supposed to be moving them around however, this sounds like nasty bullying behaviour and definitely needs mentioning. Approach it with ,'I need to talk about how did is feeling about school at the moment. She is having problems with X child on a regular basis .' List all the behaviour you know of. Don't tell the teacher how to solve it, just tell them what is happening. Any good teacher will see straight away what needs to be done. Good luck and I really hope it gets better.

Thank you @BoattoBolivia. I understand how difficult things are hence the post. Dd used to sit next to someone else and now this girl. Dd is in the same seat. Makes you wonder if the other girl was moved from sitting somewhere else if another child was having issues.

I will probably send a friendly email as never any time to talk in the mornings as it’s manic over there!

Thank all! I’ve never had to complain about an individual child before as she’s always seemed to get on with everyone until this year!

It's also disability discrimination. The school really need reminding of that if they don't tackle it decisively on first contact.

Your poor daughter. I'm sure the teacher will understand if you mention how upset your daughter is.
If there is a problem changing seats because of Covid your daughter might have to wait until after the holidays. However if you make the teacher aware she'll be able to keep a close eye on them.
I'd encourage your daughter to let her teacher know when it happens too.

Yes question the teacher on it - definitely!

We've had very very similar with DD2 (a little bit older but very similar situation) and for the first time in school I actually went and explicitly said "this is distressing my child - can one of them be moved, I know Covid means you want to keep seating consistent for contact tracing - but if needs be can you use the Xmas break to get them separated"... moved the same day. We're stuck with one of them near her still but without the audience to play up to and egg it on - it seems to have stopped.

We've had comments about DD's speech - at the year 1 age it was such that we could just have school remind them it wasn't nice and it would stop - it's getting a bit nastier as we've gone up into the juniors from one particular kid now.