School home learning & communication is too much

[Iwantafuckingbreak]

AIBU by being so fed up of school emails? I have 3 kids, 2 in school and 1 in nursery. Kids in school are 9 (middle school) and 6 (first school). I cant keep up at all. I get multiple parentmails a day from each school with 181910 different things to remember or pay for. I get sooo many emails that I end up missing the important things because there is too much.

The final straw is my 9 year old is off for 2 weeks, not due to having to self isolate but because there isnt enough teachers in school to teach his year. Now for background he is very likely dyslexic, hes had extra interventions since year 1 (now year 5 , no offical assessment yet though) . I have literally just had a conversation at parents evening with his SENCO who said NOT to push too much with homework and just do the best we can because it stresses him out and he ends up too frustrated and upset. I also had a discuss with his teacher regarding this conversation and all was fine. Now hes home doing home learning however they have a strict 9-3.30 schedule they have to keep too and work has to be turned in at the end of every "lesson" following his timetable. I cant leave him to get on with it because one, he cant read or spell well at all so cant actually understand what hes meant to be doing. The work takes him probably double the time as most of his class and I have to sit and help the entire way through. I also work full time (self employed cleaner) cant take anytime off so we are trying are hardest to stick to schedule with whoever's is looking after him at the time. We spent all day doing it today and we hadnt completed all work by 3.30 and now I'm getting shitty emails from his teacher. Despite telling her hes struggling with the work. I'm trying so hard to keep up but we all end up stressed and fed up! Feel like I'm failing parenting so badly at the moment😩

You’re absolutely right. I get texts every time they send an email and emails every time they send a text. Multiple emails weekly with the same information (often daily). Enormous numbers of initiatives (so we’re doing something every couple of days over and above learning). World’s gone mad.

When you say shitty emails, what is she actually saying?

Have you explained to the teacher what the SENCO told you? Or asked to SENCO to contact the teacher to discuss?

Don't wait for the school to start the ball rolling with assessment as to his needs. See GP and ask for referral to Ed Psych. There's a waiting list, so get on it ASAP. Start collating evidence as to what he can achieve independently and with support.

Wow OP I think I would tell school something along the lines of:

• school is unable to provide a teacher
• school is unable to provide home learning that my son is able to do independently
• school has specifically said that my son should not be pushed or stressed at home
• the school’s request that we turn in work at the end of each lesson is not possible for our family circumstances and we will not be doing it.
• my son looks forward to seeing you back in the classroom when you are able to accommodate him.

It’s flippin primary school.

@AyeAyeShipAhoy yes I discussed what was said with the SENCO and she agreed with everything which is why I dont understand why less than a week later they expect him to do 6 hours (more for him) of work from a computer. With his first school they said he would be assessed in year 5 and I guess I just thought that due to covid it would be pushed back but I'll definitely get on it. I was told it wouldnt really make a difference untill hes doing exams etc and he'd continue getting the level of help he had been regardless of an assessment. He has definitely got a lot less help since starting this school in September though and work has gotten alot harder.

Tbf the emails were to my son not to me, which ironically he struggles to read. But hes very anxious and gets himself very worked up about turning in work late.. he ALWAYS does his homework the second it gets put onto the website. The teacher knows this, he has a little passport thing to show teachers etc which details his issues with reading, anxiety etc. So her sending 4 emails a day saying work missing? or you must turn in the work by 3.30 today, isnt going to help the situation. I've made sure hes done maths and english. The ones we havent done yet are posters he has to make for subjects like history. Hes trying so hard bless him but he just struggles so much. But I do understand this remote learning is new to the school and I'm trying to make sure I'm not being unreasonable about it x

This is one of my concerns as a teacher.
Our online work generates an email every time any work is posted/ edited/ an announcement is made. It's a bit overwhelming really. Like an awful never ending to-do list.
Important messages get lost in it all.
Not sure what the answer is- but it would be worth phoning school to talk.

Separately from the command and home working overload - which sounds horrible - I second the PP above re taking the initiative to get him assessed. My DS is also yr 5, also dyslexic. We had him assessed and diagnosed end of yr 3. The difference its made has been phenomenal. His self-esteem and confidence had taken a huge knock and he was very anxious about expectations. Having an explanation and getting us and teaching staff on the same page has made all the difference. Should say we had to stump up privately though. GP couldn't help and school could only do a non-diagnostic assessment. Your SENCO should be able to tell you what support you can get.

Oh and in your shoes I would choose maybe 2 of the daily tasks and just have him do those well in his own time. Ditch the rest. The stress is more detrimental than the learning is positive. Good luck to both of you!

Aah hugs! Schools really annoy me sometimes! Especially Senco, they really fob you off most of the time. My 10-year-old had such a hard time with school, he is on the spectrum but it took us ages of fighting to get his diagnosis.If I was you, I would tell the school your sons mental health is struggling because of this strict time table at home and literally do a little bit in spurts and let him rest/play and then come back and do some more. Sod the deadlines if they can't help you more when he is in school! I found 'Write from the start' on amazon a really good book to help with DS reading. Just 10 mins a day was enough for us as his concentration is next to none lol. We also found the' Dyslexia Gold' programme brilliant! Even though school refused to test for dyslexia this was amazing. xx dyslexiagold.co.uk/?ID=MN

Funnily enough when the school brought in class dojo some years back I questioned the sense in another communication (As I realised that this would then be an extra rather than a replacement). I questioned the sense on here and teachers and parents alike said I was just being negative.

OK grumble over.

I would definitely get back to the SENCO with an outline of what you and your son WILL do, ditch all but the core until more support can be forthcoming, specify the pressure of chasing / reminder emails.

On the home learning... I am a school governor and the school are under a legal obligation to provide a FULL school day of education for children who are isolating at home. They are also obliged to mark this work and give feedback!