To be angry about my son's assault being ignored?

[SnappyFarter1987]

My 14 year old son was attacked in the street last night. The 18 year old who attacked him hit him 20-30 times around the head and arms with a wooden bat. My son, miraculously, has sustained only minor injuries though he has two dents in his head and is having flashbacks. The police have released the perpetrator on bail 'pending further investigation '.
Here's my AIBU. This took place in our local neighbourhood, my son was walking to the shop. Many people witnessed the attack, no one helped him. No one alerted me, alerted the police, called for an ambulance. He was left to stumble away, possibly seriously injured. AIBU to ask, what is wrong with people? What has happened to us as a society that people believe it is acceptable to turn their faces away for a child being attacked? Very sad and angry at the world today.

I’m sorry to hear this happened OP. I think yours is a perfectly normal reaction. Look after your son and yourself, hopefully you will feel a bit less raw soon.

Your poor son. I don't blame you for feeling angry at the world. Even if people are too scared to approach during the assault I can't imagine why nobody would call the police or check if he was ok after.

I can understand people not getting directly involved, as the attacker was armed, but I really don't understand why nobody called the police? Don't most of us carry phones?

That’s awful Yanbu

That is horrific - your poor son. Was there cctv? Have the police been able to trace any witnesses?

That is shocking! Could you contact your MP?

That is so awful- I'm so sorry. I hope your son will be ok- perhaps some counselling may be helpful for him in future? A truly horrible thing to have happen. Off the record might run in your area- it's a young people's self referral counselling organisation.
I think it's disgusting no one called the police or an ambulance. People are very scared these days I think of 'repurcussions' from the troublemakers in the community- it makes my blood boil that this fear allows them to get away with all sorts.

The problem is most people have given up on the police and often its difficult to get them to respond. only earlier this year I had an ex come round to my home, threatened my partner and would not leave. He hammered the doors windows and threatened to break in and beat us both.

I phoned the police and they promised to come round straight away, it took them 13hrs to turn up. they claimed they had be called to other incidents and the worst thing is they actually talked me into dropping any charges. It happened a 2nd time a month later and it turns out they had not even been to visit my ex the first time!

In all honesty I have completely given up with the police.

I'm very sorry this happened. If my husband was there he would have DEFINITELY intervened. I may not (I'm just 5ft nothing!) But I would have run, called the police or raised help and run back. I'm extremely sorry this happened but at least you know who it is and you have the criminal justice on your side. I would fight hard to get this guy brought to justice.

That's disgusting, I can understand people not getting directly involved (( and I've banned my dp from doing just that after the bloke and the woman he was attacking both turned on him )) but they should have phoned the police. Or at least shouted.........anything other than just ignore what was happening.

I'm so sorry.
There is a recognised psychological phenomenon (the bystander effect??)
When something bad happens in public, everyone relies on someone else to intervene/call for help. Lots of witnesses can be less likely to act than a small number.
It's not because people dont care. Its because they assume someone else will help. So no one does.

I am so sorry for what happened to your boy though, thank goodness he was not badly hurt. Must be so frightening for you both.

Hope your son is OK.

Sadly I'm not surprised.

There was a famous / infamous case in New York I think back in the 1960s or so. A woman was attacked in her flat over several hours, eventually killed by a man, witnessed by loads of neighbours. They all lived in a block of flats around a central courtyard - they saw each other watching. No one reported it as they all thought someone else would call the police. The phenomenon has a name which I can't recall. It's why when you're trained as a first aider that you're told when attending an incident solo to look at someone directly, ask their name and then ask them to call the ambulance. It singles them out - gives them individual responsibility.

Cross posted with Squishy

Thanks - yes the Bystander effect

That’s awful
I promise I’m not a person who would walk by
I’m so sorry and hope he recovers fast and gets justice
What on earth made that man do this ? Drugs , a fit
I’m so so sorry

You are not being unreasonable, but bystander apathy isn’t a new thing, it’s not the world ‘today’ it’s the world as a whole.

@DPotter Kitty Genovese is the woman who’s case you describe. Absolutely tragic.

YANBU it’s terrible no one even thought to call the police. I think however that two dents in the head are serious head injuries though. Your son may have traumatic brain injury- ask for a head MRI to ensure there is no brain bleed. He will need therapy too for PTSD.

owl
Yes absolutely tragic.
Vague memories from my social psychology lectures

Poor boy 😱 I’ve pulled my car over and intervened when I’ve seen people getting hurt in the past, probably fool hardy but at least call the police!

Sorry I posted the wrong link before. Google the bystander effect though.

It explains the theory behind why people fail to act in these situations, and it's not because they are heartless or don't care.
Knowing that this effect exists is important, because any of us could find ourselves in the position of those bystanders: if so, we CANNOT assume that someone else will call for act. In fact you should assume that you will be the ONLY one to call for help (that's a generic "you" by the way, not aimed at the op specifically but to everyone who reads this).

Sounds horrific OP and I wish your DS a quick recovery.

Unfortunately people are reluctant to speak to police regarding things like this for fear of being targeted themselves. That being said, you would think someone would have called them on behalf of your son.

Not sure what @Callipygion thinks the MP can do about this apart from try to get CCTV put in the location if it's a popular place for this type of behaviour.

Hi Op

Very sorry to hear what your son has been through very recently.

Was there CCTV images,of this terrible incident inflicted on your son?

I would have definitely have tel the police, and Ambulance service,
I really can not understand what is
wrong with people.!!!

I can understand people not wanting to intervene psychically as obviously being far too scared the Assailant will start to attack them too.

Obviously your son needs some kind of Therapy for PND (Post traumatic syndrome.

(Is there any charities out there for help for victims of crime too??

There is specific different kinds of therapies out there on internet,
need to explore find out about for your son A s.a.p.

So sorry for him,I am a mother of a son and what your son you and your family has been through, is every mother,families worst nightmare!!!

Take care of yourselfs both of you

It's awful isn't it.
My DS was mugged this year. Threatened to be stabbed, taken to a cash point then down a side road. He couldn't understand how no one helped.
DS was somehow fine about it all. I was traumatised!
Definitely get your DS head checked out.
Also get some counselling for you both if you need it.