Am I right to be annoyed?

[flawsandceilings]

DD's 15th birthday tomorrow. She didn't have a lot of things that she wanted but the few things she asked for I arranged for family to get. Three weeks ago my BIL picked something easily available and reasonably cheap. Said he'd get it. DD REALLY wanted it.

Just called him to find out where it is and apparently he forgot so he's posted her some cash.

I KNOW no one has a right to get a gift.

I KNOW she'll be ok with cash.

But she really wanted this gift, it was one of only 4 things she asked for and if he'd have let me know I could have arranged for someone else to get it. She's got very little to open as it is.
AIBU to be pissed off or should I give my head a wobble? I feel I might be unreasonable as she's still got something and could probably buy it herself with the cash, but DD has had a shit year with a big mental health crisis (on antidepressants) and I just wanted her to have a nice day with the pressie she asked for to open.
Basically- talk me out of sending a grumpy text.

OP I get why you’re annoyed but I think you’re unfairly transferring your worries about DD onto BIL who wouldn’t have known how important this was. Chalk it up to experience - get the more important things yourself!

Oh I would be annoyed about this. I think its a really tough situation for teenagers, everyone seems to expect them to be super mature and the year has been utterly shit for them. Wanting their birthday to be just right is totally understandable. Glad you have a solution and hope she has a lovely day. Probably best not to reply to BIL but definitely OK to stick pins in a blue tac model of him.

@MoiraNotRuby

Oh I would be annoyed about this. I think its a really tough situation for teenagers, everyone seems to expect them to be super mature and the year has been utterly shit for them. Wanting their birthday to be just right is totally understandable. Glad you have a solution and hope she has a lovely day. Probably best not to reply to BIL but definitely OK to stick pins in a blue tac model of him.

This!!!!! Exactly this!!!! I know she's nearly a grown up and someone will soon tell me that they moved out at 15 and were ABSOLUTELY FINE, but she's an anxious teen who had a shit year and wanted a unicorn onesie and some pens for her colouring. Things are shit. We're really short big money, very stressed, we've got a small family who need support from us instead of ever providing it , and I just wanted a 46 year old man to click on a link I sent him and buy the flipping onesie like he said he would. And breathe. I'm thinking unkind thoughts. DH has spoken to him. "Bit rubbish of you mate. You should have let us know". This is him being his most furious so I'm sure BIL feels suitably chastised. I've hidden the remains of the mince pies to eat later.

Hope she is having a lovely day OP and congratulations to you on 15 years of parenting (why is there no medal emoji!)

Aww I hope she’s having a lovely day! I remember when I was about 15 my Mum telling me she thought I was a bit old for an Easter egg that year but I could have some cash next time I went shopping with friends; I apparently looked so stricken she got me a stupidly massive egg. I certainly remember on the one hand wanting to be oh so grown up 99% of the time...but not quite ready to give up that last 1% of being my Mum’s little girl!

Totally missing the point of this thread, but colouring pens and a unicorn onesie sound cool - I like your DDs taste in things!

OP I get it, we have a 15 year old and this year has been desperately hard on them and it's at such an age when they're really aware of all that's happening in the world but so helpless and dependent still.

Our dd gets very very few presents from anyone apart from my parents and sibling. Dh's family never bother, never have, despite us always remembering their numerous children. I wanted to stop but it was important to dh so I keep out of it and he gets on it sorting it)

Anyway, I get your disappointment and also your urge to make the day special for her.

I think its really sweet that your dh went out looking for a unicorn onsie today! I hope she loves whichever one he got her and that she has a lovely day and has no inkling of the stresses!

Yes I like the sound of your DH!

It's been a good day. She loved the last minute onesie, cash arrived by the time she came back from school, I got the last Colin cake from M&S and we are ordering a curry. She's also delighted with her new phone (well, new to her anyway!)
I can start thinking about Xmas now. Have already been asked if she has a list...😡

But she only asked for four presents, and, as mentioned earlier. BIL volunteered to get the gift.

You are not being unreasonable, no. If you can't rely on someone doing what they promised, then on the shit list he goes!

OP so glad to hear your dd had a great day and loved the onsie - success! I would not be issuing any christmas lists, let them figure it out or give her the cash!