How to get out of your work's depressing Zoom party

[FestiveZoom]

Mine will involve Karaoke. 😶 How are your annual "rewards" coming along? Got anything to beat that?

YABU: Awww, this is a fabulous idea, more festive Zoom, more more more! 🥳

YANBU: Cringe, vomit, avoid. 🤮

www.wired.co.uk/article/christmas-zoom-party-work-excuses

Luckily our department do is informal. I usually lie that it clashes with the xmas do for a hobby I'm involved in running so can't miss plus pay to attend. If they pressure me to do anything this year it'll be a vip medical appt clash. If pressed, it's the only appointment I could get to have my v overdue iud removed. I'm the lone female so they won't ask any qs if I hint at it being a lady problem, hopefully.

To be honest this sounds better than a normal Christmas party, at least no hassle getting home/having to stay in a hotel/arranging a babysitter.

Plus apart from when you have to perform, you can just surf the net, and look like you are starring intently at the screen.

If you want ideas though, my team has been doing “who would live in a house like this” for our team meetings every week and taking it in turns to do a video tour of our homes and then quiz everyone to see what they remember about it.

Bloody hell, I'd have to spend several weeks cleaning/tidying to get the house fit to be seen by people I work with. Especially after months of having to entertain the DC at home more. And I can guarantee one of them would have left something gross somewhere for me to find on the tour. I can think of a few people I used to work with that would be entertained for the rest of the year though bitching about everyone else's terrible taste/slovenly standards!

@FestiveZoom

If you want ideas though, my team has been doing “who would live in a house like this” for our team meetings every week and taking it in turns to do a video tour of our homes and then quiz everyone to see what they remember about it.

How awkward for those who wish to conceal how meagre - or how opulantly - they live. Or those in D.V. situations. I can see that backfiring in some teams where there is considerable economic disparity! Especially right now.

Well, apparently unlike anyone else here it seems, we like each other and we talk to each other, and we take a vote for our team activities. Yes, I take your point if it was a dictat from above (and feel terribly sorry for you if your workplace is like that) but there’s really no need to be condescending and try to demonstrate that you must be the only person who could have possibly considered that as a problem.

Tragically I have a diary clash as my zoom social life is so packed.

Just say you're ill

Don't like the idea of showing my work colleagues around my house. I get the need to build a team, but maybe instead of parties / quizzes / house tours etc. it would be better to concentrate on erm......work??!!

My plan is to show my face at the start and then quietly drop out.

Tape over your camera enough that it completely blacks it out then log in. "Sorry, my camera isn't working"

Just join and then step away "back in a mo.." You've attended, you don't need to participate!

Get up and dash to the toilet with diarrhoea.

Same here 😣
I may have to go collect my student DC that afternoon!.... 😉

The disreputable thing would be to claim that you have a trades person coming to your house on the day who is a Jehovah's Witness and as they do not celebrate Christmas or birthdays you should opt out.

Another one is that because there have been burglaries in the area you do not want your house to be visible.

Hmm I may have told my boss that I’d put by the day of our virtual Christmas party to impale myself on a pitchfork.

Lots of people off the week running up to Christmas so we are just having a general get together, chit chat video call one day. No pressure, just be good to see people before we all finish.

Dodgy internet easy

@ithoughtisawapuddycat

Lots of people off the week running up to Christmas so we are just having a general get together, chit chat video call one day. No pressure, just be good to see people before we all finish.

Absoutely, 30 to 60 mins of chatter and tea or coffee or gin or wine at your own choosing. That I could deal with. Might be nice. But hours of forced fun and hilarious bants (performance required)? I can't take it 😂

No idea what ours will involve, I ticked the form confirming where to deliver my (hopefully food & drink, FFS not a fancy dress outfit) parcel, but added I wouldn't be online as I have tickets for Tate Britain that afternoon.
Sorted.

Except we're going to have sodding Father Christmas at daily 9am meetings for the whole of bloody advent. Deep joy.

Sellotape a Quality Street wrapper over the camera, and once everyone has oohed and aahed over what a funny green / purple / orange colour you are, you will be able to say that they all look a really weird colour too, and there must be something wrong with the connection... hello?...
hello??? and then just switch the thing off.

I think that's the day my husband spills tea on an extension lead, thus blowing the electrics. Oh dear, what a shame...

Literally just got an invite to ours , which is over lunchtime ffs!!!

I have just been forced to organise my company's one, previously I was planning to avoid it!

The owner is very happy about the 'party' via Zoom and nothing will change their mind!

I feel your pain OP! Escape plans have been formulated already and I'm sure my animals will require urgent support for the hour of the 'party'!!

@TooManyDogsandChildren

Worse still, my boss has decreed we must go to their house and stand in the garden for ours. Apparently it is OK because it is a "work meeting".

They live in an area I would normally never drive to because of ridiculous residents parking restrictions, but I am certainly not going to take the bus then worry if I have CV all over Christmas. I hate work parties at the best of times but everyone else is gushing how lovely it will be to see each other IRL

can you ask if work will reimburse parking costs/fines? IRL